People who fear being generous love people who don’t want or need anything from them.

The following will be a little confusing. The point of it is; that the give and take must go both ways; take and give, give and take – the balance must be equal. Now:

I wouldn’t say people who fear being generous are selfish, per se, but they may be afraid of how giving they are as people. They feel easily abused and trapped into relationships in which they are the giver, while they receive nothing in return. These people can fall completely in love with people who don’t want anything from them, because their reaction to them, seems different to what they’re used to. This includes situations where someone of incompatible sexual orientation wants nothing of an unusually attractive person, and all of the sudden, this particular person seems not to want anything from them. It feels relaxing and safe.

Relationships should be based on the balance of receiving as much as you’re getting from them. There needs to be an even dynamic; whatever joy I give you, I receive back from you. When this balance is not there, there’s one giver, and one taker and the one who gives is the superior one; the prettier, the smarter, the richer, the more capable out of the two… Or the less interested due to their mere sexual orientation: Beautiful lesbian women can fall head over heels in love with 100% heterosexual women and attractive straight women can fall for 100% gay men, who are the ONLY PEOPLE who don’t want anything from her. She feels safe; for once, this person is not demanding love, sex, attention, gifts, compliments, friendship, or anything else from her, and in that way, she may feel loved due to the fact she is NOT loved or wanted.

Being constantly loved and wanted is exhausting.

Therefore, people who are so wanted that they get exhausted of it can feel suddenly relaxed and excited when the tables turn and their companion is immune to them (incompatibly oriented sexually). They may turn to the opposite sexual orientation simply because they find the company relaxing. For example, men can decide to be gay simply to avoid needy women, and women can turn lesbian to avoid needy men. They may also feel less inclined to please an acquired sexual object, so they feel stronger in their lessened need to serve that person and their needs.

Sit down and do nothing for nobody.

These people need to learn to sit on their asses and do nothing for nobody for a while. They need to stop trying to be lovable and worth the love they are getting. They need to learn not to feel guilty over people’s constant need to serve them and their needs – they should let them until they get sick of it. They must let the people love them for as long as they have the energy to, and let them finally get tired of it as there’s no response from them.

If you fear people will leave you if you don’t serve them, you probably have to learn to be alone, don’t you? Take care of yourself and trust that there will be people who will love you for who you are, and who, more importantly, YOU will feel inspired and energized by, too.

Stop being generous. Stop being overly nice. Start doing things only when you enjoy doing them, even if it is for another person. Never do anything you don’t enjoy doing for the sake of doing it, whether it is a job or a relationship, don’t cook, clean, mend cars, or clean gutters for anybody you don’t love doing it for – unless they pay you.

Strike a balance in between being used and being useful. We all need to be useful, we have an internal need to contribute, but don’t do this beyond what you enjoy. Don’t help your birth family, your friends, or your spouse, don’t start a business you don’t enjoy – don’t accept a job you don’t want, NOTHING. Let everyone go fuck themselves and do what you enjoy. You may be pretty, and you may be handsome, but those things do not make you a servant that can be paid on the currency of love and admiration…

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