Polygamous dynamics around Polygynandry

Polygamists are far from cut from one wood. This is why people who try polyamory often come out of it disappointed, saying “polyamory doesn’t work.” If you try to put two different types of polygamists into the same mashup, you’ll fail for sure. In addition, quoting Carl Jung;

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

This is true for some people more than others; the more Cat Type Thinking a person is, the less there is a transformative reaction rather than a decision, but even in the strictest Old Souls*, there is room for a reaction with their True Emotion Mirrors and Precious Soulmates. That said, whoever is there when not everyone you’re soul-bonded to is there will create a different version of you. Which one is the real one, the most authentic one, is the one you enjoy being the most?

Alternative modes

I would say we all have at least two alternative ways to be polygamous that suit us in some variant of it, but out of the two, there’s the “backup mode” and “true mode.” For most, I’d say Polygynandry is a good default to go to, in a heterosexual default mode. That said, a polyandrist man can easily be swayed to go polygynous in a certain setting, and a polygynist woman can certainly tolerate playing the role of a polyandrist one for a time. Polyandrist women and polygynist men are a bit of a different story, them being quite too heterosexual for switching camps, as they’d have to tolerate too many people of the same gender in the alternative mode, but they might find a polygynandrous setting in which they can co-exist with other members of their own gender without too much of an assault to who they are as people.

The most flexible people in this equation are polygynist bisexual women and polyandrist bisexual men. Go wherever the grass is greenest, really. Genuine polygynandrists are likely going to miss one gender or the other too much to go polyandrist or polygynist for any prolonged period of time, and, as mentioned, polygynist men and polyandrist women are not really going to do well in any other mode but some variant of default polygynandry.

Default Polygynandry +MFMF+

For most people, I suggest monogamy doesn’t work to perfection as a default relationship type. It has its perks, and it’s lovely, but it can also serve as a trap when the feelings aren’t quite real. For the most part, I believe people should seek polygynandrous relationships as the “teen default” with the only hazard being STD’s. In a relationship like that, one should also notice that not everyone is as sexual as all others are, which means that the sexual pressure is taken off certain individuals, while in monogamy, the sexual pressure is constant. If one wants some kind of romantic connection, monogamy makes it automatically sexual, while a polygynandrous setup would easily allow demisexual and even asexual connections within a group.

A default polygynandry would also allow different sexual identities not to create a situation of having to give up all biologically male/female partners for one who will never, for instance, be able to produce children like monogamy effectively does.

Sexual orientations must be respected, even if they are not understood by everybody.

The default polygynandry must rely on all sexual orientations being respected within it by a simple philosophical moral stance. This includes heterosexuality, which MUST BE respected as a genuine sexual orientation, not just a sign of being “sexually oppressed, trans, or homophobic.” While a bisexual will never truly understand why a heterosexual CANNOT feel sexually aroused by a biological member of their own gender, wondering why does it even matters, logically, you simply have to accept it as be important aspect to some. EVEN IF IT WAS a reaction to some sexual oppression, the cure for it is not to be pressured into sexual relations with people who they are phobic against – the outcome would likely not be favorable, as anyone with half a brain should be able to conclude. (Rape, which does include coersion to an unwanted sexual act, rarely cures phobias, ladies. Oppression can be cured by rape, on some occasions, but phobias, no. That said, understand it’s still against the law, and me saying that doesn’t mean “go for it.”)

So the idea being, while in a default polygynandrous relationship, people’s sexual orientations, heterosexuality included, will be respected, even between partially incompatible partners. When we move on, sexual orientations and preferences become the key, but by default, it is important that everyone understands this as a key factor, and stop taking unfavorable orientations as a personal insult.

The true alignments should emerge naturally.

While in a default polygynandrous relationship, the true alignments should show themselves quite naturally. Who people feel most comfortable with; either by their gender or by their personality. Is it just a sexual compatibility or is it also a spiritual connection?

No dependency trap.

The monogamous trap is the feeling that you cannot leave someone who you feel incompatible with because you can’t leave them alone, right? When someone is fully dependent on your romantic love for them, you can’t really move on. You will also force yourself into a romantic void (unless you’re a cheating type), which also incentivizes staying in a non-ideal relationship “for a while longer”. Temporary solutions have a habit of becoming permanent, and you’re stuck.

In polygynandry, you know you’re not nearly as important as an individual in a non-ideal relationship, not for survival or emotional reasons, and you know your partners have each other to lean on once you’re gone to look for your authentic relationships – or better yet, you take your lovers with you from a much larger group.

False Polygynandry (as opposed to default)

Sometimes, people are drawn to those who are what they themselves want to be. Such as a polyandrist woman wishing to be close to another polyandrist woman, pretty much for the sole reason to steal some of her husbands away – and the same goes to polygynists as well. This may create a false polygynandrist setting, where the other polyandrist women or polygynist men insist it’s polygynandry they want, when in truth they want what their “same position” already has. The bigger their crew, the more attractive they’re going to be.

I don’t necessarily see this as a bad thing, but there will be dynamics to consider. Maybe one of the polyandrist women or polygynist men are already very well aware they are what they are, but the “thief” tries to convince them to accept false polygynandry to “swim in,” so to speak. Maybe this won’t be necessary. Someone with a surplus of partners probably doesn’t mind if another “player” is nearby, playing for the same connections, but they still don’t want to be in a relationship with the other hinge.

Custom Polygynandry

Now, while polygynandry should function as a default for early relationships, if you ask me, there are genuine polygynandrists out there. Their task in life is to learn to let go of people whose genuine orientations take them out of the early relationship.

A genuine polygynandrist feels a strong connection to both genders. A polygynist knows very well their preferred company is female, and a polyandrist knows very well they are much more comfortable around men than women. They are still sexually interested in the opposite gender, but their comfort is found with one gender or the other… By default. IF a polyandrist woman or polygynist man feels more comfortable with members of their own gender, it’s because they believe THIS connection is non-sexual. That takes the stress of potential rejection, one way or the other, away. If the connection turned out to be sexual, they’d run like the wind from it… Because it’s awkward. Weird for them. They may not be homophobic at all, but they simply don’t wish to BE in a homosexual connection themselves. (Being gay doesn’t mean you’re androphobic, gynophobic, or heterophobic, although I suppose that, too, can happen, sometimes with a very good reason. Phobias rarely come out of nowhere, but mostly they are born from misunderstanding; historically, before lesbianism was a known thing, men have had the right to assume women are heterosexual, and that reluctance to have sex is a female trait, not a gay trait… But that’s another topic.)

Dynamics

In every relationship, there is a dynamic. Whatever excites people to stick together when they could be anywhere else, with anyone else, is fascinating. What motivates you to stay? Is it philosophy, morals, religion, or obligation? Joy, fun, happiness, love, lust, and desire?

If the latter, what creates it? What would create it?

A team of girls serving multiple (scary) men is polygyny in hiding. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s polygyny. Multiple women in love WITH multiple men is polygynandry. Multiple men in love with one woman is polyandry, and multiple women in love with one man is polygyny. IN LOVE WITH is the key factor. Everything else is something based SOLELY on a sexual fetish, which may not even be what it looks like on the outside. While there’s nothing wrong with not-quite-authentic pure polygamist mixes, it is good to be self-aware and acknowledge when you’re replacing something with something else that looks right somehow but isn’t quite what it seems.

–> In love with. <–

Polyandrist men and polygynist women tend not to understand how one person can be in love with several people, but they should notice how they feel about their brother husbands and sister wives. (They should be in love with them, or the feelings they evoke. ;p)

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