Polygynandry as the ideal default relationship form – even for teens.

I find it absolutely insane that we expect our teenagers to form loyalty to someone who will eventually turn out to be a temporary love interest down the line. Faithfulness is not a skill you learn in adolescence; it should be a natural reaction to your natural partner, not something that needs enforcing. If someone is faithful to one person through their entire life, the likelihood that it is their true relationship rather than both partners being real good people is super high.

I’d like to suggest that teens’ and adults’ ideal default relationship style is polygynandry. I know a lot of parents might feel a chill: “What about STDs? What about having to have sex…” The thing is, kids will be exposed to the danger of STD’s anyway. They STILL need to use a condom even if they’re with a seemingly monogamous partner. There is a lot less need to lie to a partner about other partners, and the necessity to use condoms is suddenly very much underlined, when in perceived monogamy, there may be teens who think, “We’ll get married anyway… So why use condoms?”

Your daughter won’t be the only target for sex.

In a polygynandrous relationship, your daughter won’t be her boyfriend’s only and primary opportunity to have sex. The more girls there is in the group, the more options he’ll have. The likelihood the boys will choose the most willing of the girls is high. In a setting like that, a girl who doesn’t want to have sex can find a thousand excuses why she doesn’t want it – however, keeping alert to the fact that if she’s not performing at all but insists on staying, there is a danger the others might want to force conformity to the group, especially with the Young Soul* Thinking friends.

The natural order of things will play out easier when attention shifts to whoever is the natural object of it. I’d imagine partnerships to be forming between the “leftovers,” meaning competing over the attention of a few select individuals becomes less acute for them.

The more, the merrier that is. The larger the group, the safer everyone will be.

The freedom to leave.

Breaking up a monogamous relationship is terribly difficult. No matter how little you want it, even adults can submit to their fate and keep the relationship going long past the time they should have called it quits. It’s dramatic; people get hurt, you know, the deal. Still, in a polygynandrous relationship, people could just leave if they don’t want any of it, or focus their attention wryly on only the individuals they’re genuinely interested in.

Imagine it for yourself.

It’s always terrifying to think on behalf of your child. To think of them in any sexual situation. Still, consider it from your own perspective. Don’t you think it would be wonderful?

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