Polygyny and Polyandry relationship dynamics

Polyandry is the practice of forming a marriage, or, in the current society, a marriage-like relationship between one woman and several men. Polygyny is the opposite, often erroneously called polygamy, which is a generic term for a marriage between multiple people and bears no assumption to the gender ratios. There are more ways to form these kinds of relationships than you can poke a stick at. Still, I will, in this post, discuss the dynamics of these relationships based on a person’s natural leanings toward gynephilia and androphilia.

I will first have to define the meaning in which I use the words gynephilia and androphilia, which can, in some contexts, mean simply lesbianism or homosexuality, but this is not the way I use these words. Gynephile, directly translated, means the lover of women, and, as far as I see it, there is no reference to the gender of the lover, who can be either male or female. The same goes with the term androphile, which would mean the lover of men, masculinity, despite the lover’s gender or their usual gender preference. I propose that a straight man can be labeled as an androphile and a straight woman can be labeled as a gynephile without making an assumption on direct sexual interest toward the same gender – although that may also be applicable.

An androphile would, thus, enjoy the company of men over the company of women but may still be solely interested in women in a sexual context. The opposite being true for a gynephile. Of course, a heterosexual man may also consider themselves a gynophile, the same way as a heterosexual woman could self-identify as an androphile. These people, would, quite unusually, enjoy the company of the opposite gender while also being sexually attracted to the opposite gender.

I do agree that the word “philia” refers to sexual love. Still, I will keep using the term because I propose that, despite assuming a direct sexual link between the two homophiles (haha) there is a sexual component to this relationship that is carried out “through a proxy,” an object of mutual sexual interest; in other words; two men sharing a girlfriend, while all three identifying as either an androphile or a gynephile, thus pointing out that although sexual contact may not be present between these people, there is still a sexual element to the relationship of the love of a specific gender. Let me explain further.

I believe, yet cannot swear on it, that we all have a natural alignment towards polygamous relationships. I put it to you that there are people who couldn’t possibly name a gender they prefer over the other. I suggest there are people who make friends without ANY sexual component to the friendship, but most of us do have a sexual element to our friendships whether we like to admit it or not. This, on the most basic level, simply makes you feel more desirable to your preferred gender because you are friends with this specific person, or for being known to get along well with members of a specific gender, or that your friendship with certain people, especially if they are of your preferred gender, even if outwardly platonic, have a slight erotic element to them, if not for anything else, then being seen with sexually attractive people make you seem more attractive to any observer as a result.

The way we naturally feel for each gender changes the relationship dynamic

When you read these descriptions, the relationship type that is made for you will most likely create a pleasurable jolt of some kind, so watch out for it and don’t deny it when it happens because trust me, the world will be better off if we all know where on this spectrum we honestly belong. You will do nobody favors for lying to yourself, but you will do yourself and everyone else around you a favor by waiting for that jolt…

Polygyny among androphiles

Of all the poly-relationships this is the type of a relationship dynamic that most people automatically connect the word polygamy to. This is a dynamic of women adoring masculinity and worshiping masculinity, essentially women serving every need of their husband. Clearly, in real life there is much more to this scenario than this although, in essence, that is what it is. In this culture, it is difficult to imagine a woman, let alone plenty of sane, level-headed women, who would enjoy this dynamic, due to the way we view sexual and romantic relationships these days. Media is filled with gynephile ideas, to replace the earlier androphilic approach, just showing the other perspective before we will, hopefully, find a balance between the two genders.

In a modern world, one would assume that allowing people fall in love freely without passing moral judgement would be easy, but I fear this is the most judged form of any relationship type, same-sex relationships included. The reason being, is that the attention of all the women fall on the well-being of their mutual husband, a setting that, to modern people seem chauvinistic. Essentially, what this is, however, is a natural way for some people to fall in love, and, an alignment that should be just as accepted as any other relationship type adults enter out of their own free will.

The way polygynous androphiles feel is that the female gender serves the needs of the male gender, and in this setting, a male “king” or a superior masculine, whose needs come first to a band of women who take sexual pleasure from carrying out his wishes as he wishes.

Polygyny among gynephiles

The polygynous relationship dynamic changes dramatically when we form this relationship among gynephiles, lovers of femininity and women. Now, the husband becomes the servant and protector of his wives and has to stretch to his limits in order to be everything to all of his wives. This, just like the all of these relationship types, consists of a sexual fetish, a need that makes you salivate at the thought of it. This relationship type is a dream of a man who wants to see how far his abilities will carry him, and how many women he can keep satisfied on his own. Adding BDSM flavors to this setting, he becomes the female’s slave, the opposite to the above variation.

Polygyny among gynephiles runs by the ladies’ wishes while their mutual husband goes along anything his sweet girls ask of him. At the same time, he has to be completely attuned to feminine way of thinking while still, somehow, manage to be superbly masculine – or blend directly in with his wives… Or something. (Just giving you ideas.)

Polyandry among gynephiles

Just as easily as a person connects the dots from polygamy to androphilic polygyny, people assume that all polyandry is automatically a form of gynephilia. This would mean a dominant female whom the men worship and serve, they all join forces to make their mutual wife the happiest woman on the planet. They would treat her as their queen, tending to all of her needs, and seeing her happy will make her husbands happy.

Polyandry among androphiles

This form of polygamy could be called ‘the bro show’, a testosterone filled affair of boys being boys while their mutual wife blends in the best she can because this relationship type is based on the love of the masculine. She is the embodiment of her husbands’ idea of perfection, and to an androphile, a sexy woman is always a little bit of a tom-boy. She can hold her own among men, but can do this in high heels, driving her husbands mad. She has to be attuned to the male way of thinking, if not for anything else then to be able to be everything to every one of her husbands. Her challenge is to stretch to the needs of all of her men, (most likely not talking about house-keeping however, usually something that androphiles consider an unnecessary waste of energy,) tending to both their sexual and emotional needs  or whichever way each individual family feels about this.

The non-sexual aspect of polygamous relationships

There is a clear benefit in over-supply of one or the other gender within a relationship. Where polyandrous relationships free men to do work outside the home while other husbands stay with the wife, it is also arguable, that the less sexual men would find it relaxing to be in a relationship such as this, where their sexuality is no longer under constant scrutiny but they can show their love otherwise. Obviously different strokes for different folks, but the gynephilic polyandry is the most likely address for men who simply want to serve their wives without necessarily expecting sexual contact with her – a fetish amongst fetishes!

The obvious benefit of polygyny is the availability of women to tend to the home and children with much less demand on their sexuality, still allowing for the sense of security and belonging, that is a very important need to us all.

Mix your own polydream

There is more ways to being polygamous than you can ever imagine at one sitting, and to have experience of it doesn’t mean you know the first thing about the relationship dynamic of another group. Especially if you are currently single, I urge you, ever so excitedly to take a moment to envision what it would be like in a relationship with your True Emotion Mirrors in a polygamous setting, whether you’ve met them yet or not. Dare to dream a bit. I do understand that what you would normally expect from a relationship may be less than ideal, in fact, the idea of being in a polyandrous relationship with a random group of men, as much as I love the idea of polyandrous androphilia for my own ideal, the idea of having just one gynephile join us fills me with chills! I hate the idea of a man tending to my needs, hate it, so so much! I love to serve men, but I absolutely loathe the idea of a groveling idiot of a man who is whining at me to allow him to rub my feet for my pleasure and enjoyment. 😀 Obviously my kinda guy can do that quite the way I like, he won’t take it as any form of a favor, he’d grab my foot whether I like it or not and do whatever he likes with it…. Ah! Like a man! See, my point being, whatever you find absolutely the height of eroticism to someone else feels just a tad off or WAY off, even if, in essence, we’d talk about the same basic type of a relationship. It is important to realize that one man isn’t the same as another man, nor is a woman replaceable with another woman, and although we all would be a terrible fit for some relationship, there is a dynamic that suits you perfectly – you will simply have to be brave to identify the things that you want to be, give and receive, and what it is that makes you tick in the end.

Remember also, that there is no such thing as “all men want this” or “all women like that”, even if the majority of each gender could be easily enough described. Be brave, be brave. Admit to what you want, and then accept that if you exist, your counterparts do exist, too. (You may be special, but not special enough to be the only freak in the species.)

Subscribe to get a Daily Message