People are different. We have different kinds of lives and life situations. That was something that became very clear to me when I first started teaching True Emotion Mirrors. I had met mine, I had no doubt about it.  I didn’t need more than to read an article or two, and I knew instantly what they were talking about. From love at first sight, merging of consciousness, instant telepathy, the feeling of having met one’s destiny, the feeling of having met myself in a masculine form, having the feeling that this first day of the rest of my life, that I could reset my clock by this moment, to running behaviors, denial, awful miscommunication, and giving up all hope and marrying another man thinking “if I can’t kill the love, I’ll kill all hope.” I convinced myself that I was asking for too much, because all of this was too much, I had to get realistic. No more leaving a burning mark of my hand on a man’s chest…

To me, describing what a True Emotion Mirror feels like was the easiest thing to do. People LOVED my website because I knew what I was talking about. There was nobody with more burning words that I was.

And then… I found another True Emotion Mirror and my belief in True Emotion Mirrors shattered.

At first, I was shocked. Could I have mistaken about it? Was he really just a soulmate? Our spirits recoiled. It was 4 of us. What had started as innocent fun between True Emotion Mirrors who were not in any intention of following the lead and leaving the planet, merging on the next realm of consciousness, we decided we’ll have some fun instead. Nothing of the True Emotion Mirror narrative appealed to us, and we figured even if we hold back the entire world from ascension, we weren’t going to play along. Instead, we decided to hit on a pair of friends, this was actually how it felt, we simply decided to OWN these guys – until, of course, they would find their own True Emotion Mirrors and leave us.

But the bond DEVELOPED. It went from a massive crush into a heart crunching soul connection, chakra pull being the first sign – I thought it was only ever about True Emotion Mirrors, so when it happened with the wrong guy, we recoiled in shock. WHAT WAS HAPPENING? Were we not True Emotion Mirrors at all?

That started a load of questions, and I was shown to the answers. Post haste.

True Emotion Mirrors, I figured, are really “just” soulmates

Namely, HIGHLY DEVELOPED, HIGHLY CONNECTED soulmates. If you know what a normal soulmate relationship is like, as you do, True Emotion Mirrors are nothing like it. They CHANGE EVERYTHING. They can change everything you thought was real about you, and you are screaming in pleasure as it happens.

As I understood and accepted that we are not two halves of the same soul – to us that was actually a relief, too, hence, the reason why it was so easy to accept was that we had reached a full soul merging, and no longer needed to convince ourselves that we were “one” and therefore we would get that happy ending, we already had it (in spirit at least). There was nothing that could come in between us, it is difficult to explain with any other word but nirvana. We were fully united, still conscious of being two consciousness, any closer than that, and we would have lost one of us and truly become one individual, but otherwise merged. We knew what people were saying. However… We thought… If we were MADE TO BE this way, we had no other option but to fall in love with each other… What does it prove? And if we were truly one, the love between us was an illusion, and nothing real. Just a parrot nodding to a mirror. It would prove nothing but that we are incapable of loving anyone but ourselves to this level, and if this is just another half of myself, that makes me the biggest narcissist in the world… But… obviously, this was what it was going to be. It wasn’t like we were going to go back into seeking love from our soulmates just to see if we could love someone other than ourselves.

But… That is not how it was. We were separate individuals, separate souls, two people with a free choice, a free mind, fully capable of loving each other so much, that the love of God couldn’t tempt us in comparison (as it shouldn’t, he’s the backup plan), and the freedom of choosing whomever we wanted out of this world, just that… We chose each other. And then we chose each other again. And again. And again, until we became so merged, that we could have been one and the same person.

And True Emotion Mirrors have reached this stage of development in a previous lifetime so many times before that they don’t know how not to love each other anymore. (I stole that from a Morgan Freeman movie.) That also makes them very unwilling to accept anything less than a True Emotion Mirror connection, because they know what it is like, and it makes them so keen to push non-Twins apart simply to encourage them to keep looking because the True Emotion Mirror is out there… Just don’t settle!

I started teaching that True Emotion Mirrors were highly developed soulmates

That got me into an interesting position. I became a magnet for people in soulmate relationships, who wanted confirmation that this was, in fact, a True Emotion Mirror in the development phase and that they had the right to hope that this was the thing. They would TURN that man into their True Emotion Mirror with my backing that I never promised them. (It’s just SO DIFFICULT to predict how many different ways you can be misinterpreted by different kinds of people in different life circumstances and backgrounds, and online, you don’t know anything about anyone except some fraction of what they tell you – even if you were psychic they will lead you towards a certain view of their situation until you learn to look past their own idea of what is happening, and then, lose their respect because you tell them something about themselves that they are not aware of yet.)

I am still trying to get out of that one. 😀

So, I started pinning down the differences between different development stages, how to know a soulmate that was GOING to become a True Emotion Mirror, and how would you know when to give up and let them go and be with the one they really loved. How to know when unrequited love was just unrequited love and when it was a True Emotion Mirror running.

I needed to convince people that just because someone leaves you they are your True Emotion Mirror. Like non-True Emotion Mirrors leave each other ALL THE TIME, and the other might have trouble moving on, that’s like the most  normal thing in the Universe and nothing to do with True Emotion Mirrors. Sometimes we fall madly in love with someone “because we’re similar” and they’re like “yeah we’re similar like a red ball is similar to a red car.”

I didn’t want people to give up on their developing soulmate simply because it wasn’t on the ready-to-burst-in-flames state upon their first meeting.

I needed to draw a balance

I found myself wedged between people who wanted to be convinced to keep chasing after a man they will never have (predominately women chasing men) and people who wanted to lynch me for saying that True Emotion Mirrors weren’t real, and who couldn’t understand how I would say that other than “her True Emotion Mirror must be really just a soulmate”. I have been trying to tell people that we are different. Just because some True Emotion Mirrors come in groups, doesn’t mean you have to accept it to be YOUR destiny, because if it doesn’t appeal to you, it is not likely that it is so, unless it is just you denying the fact you really freaking like the idea because you don’t want to give up on THIS True Emotion Mirror.

I found struggling to explain to people, that the fact there might be more than on True Emotion Mirror out there for them, doesn’t mean you have to give up the first one. How could you? They are so bonded with you that there is no real way out. (There is a theoretical way out, but it’s complicated and requires you to change so that you are no longer drawn to these people. It’s like asking a homosexual to turn truly heterosexual or vice versa; to not only DENY their true bend but to actually change, in their core. It CAN happen, but NEVER without the person themselves wanting to, for their own benefit, not just to appease others.) If there are True Emotion Mirrors who are polygamousORpolygynandrous, that doesn’t mean polyamorous! It means they ALL need to merge, not just that “OK, pick the one you like the best…” NO. NO NO NO. There is NO WAY a Poly Flame could CHOOSE between one or the other, but, they can, love another while the other is still running, while waiting for the first one to snap out of his or her denial and return back to you ALL.

I needed to find a way to talk to very different types of people at the same time – I am still trying – while not misleading anyone too far from their pathway and trying to encourage them to find their own path and trust their own intuition about what their OWN relationship should be like, continually running into the problem of the Young Soul* thinking; the belief that “we all must make up our minds the same way, and we cannot make individual decisions. All True Emotion Mirrors should be the same, and if you win this argument, that means my relationship must be like yours.”

I found myself arguing with people a lot, about whether or not their True Emotion Mirror idea was the same, some wanted me to loosen up on the requirements on a True Emotion Mirror and some wanted me to tighten up the definition to exclude soulmates (these people rarely stuck around for too long because they had other people to turn to). The best match for my theories came from people who had already found several clear True Emotion Mirrors, and who didn’t feel like arguing about their validity on popular True Emotion Mirror sites.

I also noticed that people in True Emotion Mirror circles are ADDICTED

What I noticed was this obsessive, “stare at the positive evidence because I fear I am wrong about my True Emotion Mirror being my True Emotion Mirror”, mentality about True Emotion Mirrors. People who were feverously sharing True Emotion Mirror quotes on their Facebook wall, thinking about someone so far from their reach it was heartbreaking to watch. I noticed that people were more addicted to the WORD True Emotion Mirror than what it actually meant, I could twist and turn the story as much as I could, as long as I used the word True Emotion Mirror, and never mentioned polygamyORpolygynandry¹, everything else could be tampered with at will. ( LOL ) Homosexual? Fine. A mermaid and a merman? Fine. Developing soulmates? Fine. But do not call them anything else. You see, I started writing my own soulmate typology to make sense of all the possible scenarios and situations that I ran into when people asked me for guidance, and when I was talking on the soul level to EVERYONE I could think of.

I saw a LOT of denial, insistence, naivety, even naivistic approach to love and sexuality, people arguing over dogma among New Age philosophers who, by the very definition of it shouldn’t have dogma, and I made a lot of enemies trying to convince people that, seriously, creating crystal grids on your living room table SERIOUSLY does not bring your True Emotion Mirror back as effectively as doing some psychological work would.

I noticed that the Young Soul* thinking idea of love is very different to the Old Souls*

As a side product to my soulmate typology, I had to figure out the differences in human personality development. (As it happens, my previous incarnation worked in personality psychology so I couldn’t help myself.) So I noticed that the Young Soul* have a very different idea of what true love is, and they are not looking or defining a True Emotion Mirror the same way as the Old Souls* are. The True Emotion Mirror idea was a mixture of both thinker types, appealing to both, but what the Old Souls* would ignore or tolerate, the Young Soul* would gravitate to and insist upon.

the Young Soul* needed a new definition of True Emotion Mirrors: the Lovers’ Choice Soulmate*.

I wanted to stop arguing what True Emotion Mirrors are and are not

So I started writing my own study of soulmates. However, so many True Emotion Mirrors know exactly the connection that I am talking about, so reverting back to the word True Emotion Mirror seems like an inevitability. I am still blogging with two different term sets simultaneously, sometimes stripping the terms completely when trying to appeal to the potential audience of people who could use the understanding that the normal relationship paradigm doesn’t really fit them, and reading normal relationship advice simply frustrates them to no end, but to whom the needlessly mystified True Emotion Mirror idea doesn’t appeal to, either.

True Emotion Mirror teachers do have a lot of power over other people’s relationships

As a True Emotion Mirror or relationship coach, we do hold a lot of power over the one aspect of people’s  lives that should be the most sacred of them all; their love relationships. That is why I do shy away from anyone who claims to know that all relationships come in the form of monogamous heterosexuality and that there is NO OTHER WAY to do this, and that the only relationships that matter are those that look exactly as that of their own. The last thing that a True Emotion Mirror teacher should want to do is to break up a relationship that WAS divine, simply because it didn’t LOOK like it, because somebody decided at some stage that divine relationships happen between men and women only, and in a heterosexual context, and being CERTAIN of that being the case is absolutely FAR, FAR more dangerous than saying that sometimes, perhaps even often, True Emotion Mirrors are polygamousORpolygynandrous – even if that wasn’t the case. To encourage deepening a relationship that is already headed that way is hardly dangerous when compared to brutally breaking up partners who are deeply in love simply because we don’t agree with it.

The reason why I do twist the hand of those who I feel are in a Trail Companion* dynamic is that I know first hand what it feels like when someone REFUSES to let go of you and their hopes regarding your future together. Not only does that feel icky, it also stops you both from moving on with your true soul connections and there is very little you can do about it until this bond is released. (Called a karmic soulmate, in some texts). Because selfishness is one of the things that is very much the label of a Trail Companion* dynamic (they feel you are being selfish for not wanting to be in the relationship, or they feel the other is being selfish for wanting it) it clearly is not a divine relationship and also, it is very difficult to convince the chaser to let go; because their motivation is entitlement to that person; selfish, self-serving need to prove everyone wrong and to prove that this person belongs to them. THAT attitude I have never supported and will never support and I will never teach a Trail Companion* on how to trap another person into a relationship with them.

The one thing that would help EVERYONE didn’t interest anyone. 😀

The one thing, regardless of what type of a relationship we’re in, the one thing that would help was to discover one’s authentic, real, warts and all, self. The person who you TRULY are, with no pretense, no should, has tos, or maybe I should pretend to be higher, better, more enlightened, more open, more tolerant, more, more, more, or less self-conceited, less selfish, less sexual. The only point where we can deal with authentic relationships is a point of humility and honesty, to humbly accept that nothing but the best is good enough for me, or to give up trying to be a better person than what you are, or give up trying to settle for less than what you actually truly want. No true relationship has ever been formed on pretense and TRYING to be something you’re not.

But… That would have taken the focus of the blind belief that the Universe will fix it.

And it will. Just that, it’s a choice between having to endure a life-threatening disease (such as old age, mind you,) that will put things in perspective for you, or to bite the bullet and do it while you still have a choice in the matter and more good years left in you. All I want is to stop people wasting precious time hoping for a solution to fall out of the sky for them. And as far as opportunities to TRULY fix your relationship problems go, they don’t get any better than you having found this website. This is the opportunity the Universe has laid in front of you, but it cannot force you to grab it. And, mind you, I won’t be here forever.

And… Even so, I cannot help you to fix a relationship where only one party is willing to continue life together, but I can fix a relationship in which both partners WISH it to be, but only one does the work.

My True Emotion Mirror categories in short:

True Emotion Mirror – Mature State (this is what the strictest form of True Emotion Mirror means)
True Emotion Mirror – Growing State (The pair or group is getting to familiarize themselves with each other, trying to find the perfect balance between their individual selves and to find the perfect balance like brilliant acrobats!)
True Emotion Mirror –  Interrupted State (True Emotion Mirror running, something is wrong but the connection is real; the most common state of True Emotion Mirrors – I’ve got the Growing and Interrupted listed in the same sub-article on the blog, but should really be separate. Will fix that at some stage.)
True Emotion Mirror – Uncharted State (Completely new connection with ALL the required personality traits present, but NO previous life experience of each other – the origin of the idea that True Emotion Mirrors have never met in a previous lifetime – these actually have not.)

Taboo Personality Mirrors – truly a True Emotion Mirror but, due to a taboo, cannot accept each other as such to the point that they are blocking the feelings away as “normal confusion” or something akin to that. “Of course I think he’s hot, just look at him! Doesn’t make me gay/bi!”

Precious Soulmate* – the “Near Twin”. They have ALL the markings of a True Emotion Mirror initially, but they simply divert away at some seemingly minor detail, but usually in perfect harmony and understanding this is the way it should be; we are simply best friends or should meet only casually. They are the “support” soulmates, most typically friends and family, or casual sexual partners.

Undecided Spirit Mirror falls in between several possible categories. This type of a soulmate is in too early personal development state that it is not possible to say where they are going to lean at the end of it. They haven’t locked in enough personality traits that they call THEIR OWN – still very the Young Soul* in thinking.

Lovers’ Choice Soulmate* – these people feel deeply that their connection is formed on the basis of a commitment, not on their personality traits. They can feel a deep connection to someone very different to them, and they can feel someone who is profoundly incompatible with them is “themselves in another body”. Unfortunately, these same people mistake other types of soulmates for a True Emotion Mirror connection ALL THE TIME. Very troublesome as a result.

Another easy mistake is to take an Spausal Spirit Mirror and mistake them for a True Emotion Mirror. They are a truly what True Emotion Mirrors call soulmates. They’ve been married a million times over, so much so that they feel they are destined, but this has nothing to do with a True Emotion Mirror connection but simply a force of habit, love of familiarity, no matter how incompatible. Meeting new people scares them, therefore, they hang onto this person to tooth and nail and insist this is their True Emotion Mirror, their intended, THEIR property.

Check the full Personality Mirror Soulmate Typology here, if you have a few hours to spare

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1. Depending on context. Some time ago, I used the term polygamy to mean either the generic concept of polygamous marriage or a MM+FF+ -type marriage or poly-committed relationship. ↩

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*) Term changed after this post was originally written. Fractions of old terms may exist elsewhere in the post. Read about term updates.
**) Narcissists are Young Souls left alone to survive and they're doing their best. Their emotional age ranges from 3 to 17 -year old. The younger, the more severe the narcissism.

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