Reincarnation and Past lives – Introduction

In the year 2000, after breaking up with a relatively long term atheist boyfriend who had managed to poke holes in my very stubborn Christian faith during the time that we were together, at the time of our breakup I was Christian mainly out of sheer stubbornness than actually believing in it, anymore. Ironically, as soon as we broke up, he became a Christian. 😀 We both won the argument. 😀 He went over the top into meditating with the Bible searching for answers with God’s guidance to, with a light in his eyes declaring that God wants him to start a big family and that is all there is to human life. I can tell you I was slightly taken aback when a previously Mensa-score obsessed intellectual with a God-complex suddenly became “a believer”. I don’t know how his faith has stuck with him, I lost contact with him after the birth of his second child, who he was planning to name with ANOTHER ONE of the names I had mentioned MY children would be named with should I ever have any, and I was not happy, and pointed out his wife might have an issue with that, too.

Once the pressure was off the question of faith, I decided to abandon Christianity and start searching for answers for myself. I officially resigned from the church and entered “a civil registrar” meaning I was officially without faith. I decided, that there cannot be a higher authority over spiritual matters than what each individual themselves are, therefore, the word of a priest weighs just as much as anyone else’s opinion on the matter, the way I felt, the people of faith were all lost in a web of rules and regulations, battling for a place in Heaven that may or may not exist. Passing down ancient passages in the Bible that nobody really knew where it came from apart from what they were told, and what they were told might, or might not be the truth, so I figured, quite logically, that if the originators of the Bible had an ability to converse with God, why should I not have that same right? After all, God could not possibly punish me for seeking the truth, knowing that I did not trust the millennia’s worth of people in between of his word reaching my ear, I had played enough Chinese Whispers¹ to know how that plan works out in the end. To me, the Bible and the church started to mean 200o years worth of misunderstandings. There was certain things that I had always had an issue with about religion, that I have simply explained by “he couldn’t have possibly meant that” and, for the record, I am certain that is how the Bible got changed a lot along the way, too. To listen to an enlightened person sometimes sounds like words of a lunatic, and anyone with less awareness will think: “He couldn’t have possibly meant that.” But yes, he might have done.

So. I left the church with the intention of discovering the spiritual truth for myself, with a single prayer in my mind; “God forgive me for asking for the truth.”

The Truth started to push through with force. I started having past life flashbacks – the first thing that I decided I did not agree on with the Bible was the notion of one life only because I felt deeply I had lived before. Now that feeling started to get more tangible forms, the first of which was a memory of stabbing a fat man with a pair of shears, knowing that if I didn’t kill him, he would kill me, and knowing, that this event lead to my own execution of murder, but, what mattered was that my four children were safe. Currently, I don’t know if that flash was a genuine past life memory, but it could have been. I could not have been much more than 20, 25 years old, meaning that this life could have happened before the three, excluding my current, lifespans I know about from 1850 onwards with a relative certainty, without leaving much of a mark of it.

In the beginning of 2000’s, I felt “dazed” a lot, because of the spiritual awareness was starting to open my senses to a world I had not lived in before. However, I had a lot of life left to live, but already having met my True Emotion Mirror soulmate Alex, I started looking at everyone from the perspective of “soulmate or no soulmate” making it difficult to relate to other people normally, and I decided to shut that particular door again, because it was interfering with my everyday life that I was quite enjoying. I simply stopped thinking about past lives or reincarnation much.

My spiritual search took a back seat in my life, and although I was still reading New Age material, I didn’t submerge myself into it the way I first began to do. It became sort of natural for me to keep that thought on the back of my mind without really going elbows deep into it.

Not until I started studying life coaching in 2010 or 2011, and then got pulled back towards my early intention of discovering the truth for myself; I felt called to do it as if God was impatient: “You said you’d listen, now stop doing what you’re doing and avoiding what you asked for and listen.” So I did. I wrote about it at length just yesterday from a slightly different angle. By the end of 2012 I was knees and elbows deep in it and sinking. 😀

As individual beings, whatever form we take, all have a different guiding light that we follow through our incarnations. To some, it is still very unclear, and that is alright, as far as “cosmic time frame” goes, even the youngest of souls are only a fraction younger than those of our oldest, even if the true age difference was millions of years. We have only gotten started. This guiding light will draw us through life events from the moment you set yourself a goal… as in, the moment you stumble on a genuine wish: “I wish I could do this, that or the other thing” and if that wish comes from your heart, the events of your life will fall into place so that you will find  your way to that goal, whatever it may be.

Now, we all hate a certain outcome, but we also hate the idea that we could fail, don’t we? That being said, yes, you can fail, over and over and over again, but never without repair. You can always get back up and try again; in this lifetime or the next.

1. Chinese Whispers is a children’s game in which one person whispers a message into another person’s ear, who then passes the same message as accurately as they are able to the next person, and so on, until it has reached all players, the last of which repeats the message out loud as they heard it, often having lost a lot of detail or even changed the message completely along the way. You even know there are mischievous players in there who deliberately change the message for the fun of it, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. ↩

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