Romantic self-confidence; when is it too much, and when isn’t it enough?

Absolute self-confidence is nothing but a sign of stupidity, I said some time ago. I also said, that a person MUST BE ABLE to accept the THEORETICAL possibility that they might not be wanted by someone. That their company simply MIGHT NOT BE welcomed by all people, no matter how much they, themselves love that person or those people.

The reason why I say this, is that there are people who are SO CONVINCED of their love being always welcomed, that no matter how violently they are being rejected, the only possible explanation they can imagine is: “They don’t believe I actually love them, and they are fighting their tears and self-confidence issues, because, who could ever possibly reject me for reals?” I kid you not. (Know those women who go back to an abusive boyfriend who “deep down loves them”? That’s one example, and HE is not the problem individual in that relationship.)

But, violent relationships aside:

Your True Emotion Mirror

This is the tricky part. Your True Emotion Mirror, to you, is someone who challenges your self-confidence by simply being so amazing. Because the feelings are completely mutual, the normal reaction is that BOTH of them doubt their own worth in the eyes of the other. This makes normally self-confident people with a healthy level of self-doubt doubt themselves, normally. Not always, as some people have already completed the work I’ll describe here.

You cannot be CERTAIN you have met a True Emotion Mirror if you have NO ABILITY to doubt that SOMEONE might not want you. If that thought is so foreign to you that you don’t even know why you should doubt yourself, “what’s there not to love” or “but he/she could have ALL THIS” kind of attitude, you’re unable to tell when you are being GENUINELY rejected.

This also leads to you questioning “What is a rejection, it’s only temporary, you’ll change their mind” but this is a hunter speaking, not a lover. I’ll speak of this later, but…

Healthy people often fear they are that person

In a healthy psyche, a level of self-doubt is an ABSOLUTE must. If you never doubt your awesomeness, you’ll never be able to see your flaws let alone fix them. You’d be blind to your own failures.

These are people that high functioning individuals laugh at / detest, but who are unable to tell because nothing shakes their self-confidence. And, once a high functioning individual is face to face with their True Sprit Mirror, who, to them is AMAZING but who they also, at the same time SENSE loves them at the same level of heat, this state of being is ripe for setting up a running reaction by a tiny rejection:

If the True Emotion Mirror isn’t instantly ready for a relationship…

It is possible that the True Emotion Mirror would either accidentally or because of some other TEMPORARY reason rejects their counterpart. If they do that repeatedly (and there are reasons why they might), their True Emotion Mirror will easily start thinking they are the person who cannot take a rejection seriously. The annoying one who keeps pestering you for attention, and even though they know this approach may get them into a relationship, they also know that approach will never win them true love, so they are likely to rather back off than to keep chasing.

The two opposite ways of thinking create a chaos again:

One group thinks: “You have to prove to me you want me by chasing me even though I reject you.”

The other group thinks: “Chasng and pestering will get you a relationship, but it will never get you true love.”

A person who gets chased a lot, and who knows how easy it is to give in to someone’s pestering durign a weak moment when they feel their own loved ones are either nowhere to be found (“I can’t find true love so I might as well try if anything would come out of this and give this person a chance”) that when they are TRULY in love, they don’t want to chase that person knowing/thinking that by pestering them, they MIGHT be able to get into a relationship with them, but they’d never be truly loved.

In the mean while, the other person may be expecting them to prove they truly love them by chasing and pestering them for a relationship.

So, when the other one gives up the chase thinking they are not truly loved, the other one feels rejected because the other one doesn’t chase them.

But in general, it is good to know that nobody in this world is loved and wanted by everybody

There is not a person in this world that EVERYONE wants. Not one. Absolutely fictional. There are people who are EXTREMELY popular. There are people who are CRAZY WANTED by a huge percentage of their desired gender, I am one of those people, believe it or not, but… NOBODY is so wanted that EVERYONE wants them. People who are popular by a huge percentage may easily win people over with a little pestering, as they probably flatter anyone’s ego, but… Even they are not immune to REAL rejection, particularly if they are so full of themselves that they see no possibility of it being even a real possibility.

A person who is completely insensitive to the idea that they might have been rejected will keep on pushing to a point where they are causing NOTHING but hacking away on the respect the other person might have initially felt for them. If a person fails to realize when the rejection is real, they achieve nothing but a loss of reputation as a sane, respectable individual.

Please note I didn’t mean there aren’t people who couldn’t have anyone they wanted, (more or less) because people are prone to accepting people who like them, EVEN IF they didn’t like them back AT ALL. This is because they want to give a person who likes them THAT MUCH a chance, even though they felt it was  unlikely they would ever be able to return their feelings.

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