Rules for finding true love and peaceful life despite the Survivalist* Physioamorist’s

the Idealists* make friends through peace, spiritual connection, friendliness, and friendship, showing love, giving love. They hold (the) respect of others (freedom) as their primary value. The Survivalist* believe in dominance and submission, bosses, fighting, disrespect, and the leadership of the strongest individual in any given group. Here, we have a pair of people who will rarely, if ever, see eye-to-eye.

The Idealists* must learn two things in order to live a happy life: A) To recognize the signs of the Survivalist* before you get friendly with them and to avoid them like a deadly disease. (Social distancing!) B) If you cannot avoid them, you have to fight them like they were a deadly disease; until you find the right balance with them OR you chase them out of your life.¹

Now, chasing the Survivalist* out of your life is damned near impossible if they’ve got it in their head that you’re meant to be.

They’ll appeal to your wish for peace and respect

You will always be tempted to settle, and hope things will improve. In some ways, they will. You’ll find peace, but you’ll never learn to love someone you didn’t love from the first moment. There’ll be a lot of people claiming that you’ll learn to love people you need to love, or whatever, but although that works for a Physioamorist, it doesn’t work that way for a Sapioamorist.

There’s a lot of logical-sounding arguments that prevent you from trusting your first instinct about a person, but NEVER talk yourself into trying to learn to love someone who you don’t love from the moment you meet them. It doesn’t have to be BIG LOVE, but you’ll have to LOVE them. TRULY love them, not just kinda approve of them. If you don’t want that person around you for the rest of your life, don’t engage, or be prepared to fight for your freedom later on. Stay only if they’re worth the fight for you.

the Survivalist* won’t trust you until they’ve fought you

Now, sapio/physioamory doesn’t mean you’re either a Idealists* or the Survivalist* (although typically, I believe Sapio goes with the Idealists*ism and Physioamory goes with the Survivalist*, but that’s not always the case). Still, the Survivalist* will take time to trust you even if they’re already in love with you. Maybe particularly, if they’re in love with you from the moment they meet you. They’ll take forever to trust you because they need you to stick around for the fight. If you don’t fight them, they can’t trust you.

You can also fight the Survivalist* off your friend-circle, but you can’t give them an inch from the start. You can’t give them mixed messages, so you have to be instantly, and systematically mean to them from the moment they try to make contact with you, or you’ll have to ignore them. You can be friendly with the Survivalist* ONLY if you know there is no way they’ll be able to get into your private circles later on because they think you’re a personal friend. As in a celebrity.

This is insanely difficult for a Idealists* to do. We pride ourselves on being friendly, fair, and accommodating. All-inclusive (up to a point). What you’ll find, tho is that we get screwed over by our own values, easily. We will wind up in the position where we are SURROUNDED by people we don’t truly love, but who worship the ground we walk on because we were friendly to these people from the get-go.

the Survivalist* won’t let you go for as long as you’re unhappy and lonely

If you are unhappy or lonely, there is no way the Survivalist* will let you be. They are drawn to needing to fill a hole in your life no matter how little ability they have to fill the hole. (the Idealists* will feel a need to make people happy, too, but they won’t FORCE themselves on others. They ask if they’re welcome, and even when they FEEL LIKE they’re super pushy, they rarely… Well, NEVER are. What is the Idealists* Super Pushy is the Survivalist* for Unnoticeable Interest.)

When you are single and looking or divorced, Physioamorist the Survivalist* rally around you like possessed. All they want to do is to make you happy, fast. Partner up with the first available person of the right gender, age, and location. They don’t understand that you would not want to form a relationship with a Physioamorist when you are a Sapiosexual, and thus, choosy.

However, they calm down when they see you are happy. Ironically, this is when the Idealists* start feeling a little… Unchallenged. It is to be noted, that the Idealists* DO LOVE causing pain to the Survivalist* who are pushing their way into the life of a Idealists* who simply doesn’t love them.

the Idealists* have their dark side

the Idealists* do love to play with the Survivalist*’s emotions, don’t get me wrong. There is something very satisfying with having someone bang your door endlessly, knowing they’ll never make a dent to you, as your love for them simply doesn’t exist. The Idealists* love it especially, if they know they have not, in any way, led the Survivalist* on, or given them a reason to think there is a relationship. Then, the Survivalist* appears pathetic and as such… The play is quite a lot of fun to a meanie-the Idealists*. If a Idealists* with a ton of personal values feels the tinge of enjoyment in this position, they’ll beat themselves up for it forever, and are thus an easier target for the Survivalist* to love-attack them.

the Survivalist* have their dark side, too

What the Survivalist* get out of this dance, however, is their enjoyment that they can keep the Idealists* who love each other separated, because they are fighting the Survivalist* off their back. They love taking the Idealists*’s attention away from the people they genuinely love – this gives them a sense of power and control.

A Survivalist* may also believe that they are “loved” when a Idealists* “chooses them” over someone they TRULY want. An the Idealists* makes this choice because they believe the person they wanted doesn’t love them back, and doesn’t in that moment, believe they will ever have the one they want, so they settle for the easy the Survivalist*, who is pushing their way into the Idealists*’s life by mere persistent force.

Still, the Survivalist* love to see a Idealists* suffer if they realize the Idealists* doesn’t appreciate them. They will also explain the Idealists*’s interest in another person as “being shallow”, “sexual”, and “after someone easy”, to protect their own ego.

Love isn’t fair. Stop thinking it is.

While I wouldn’t go as far as to say all is fair in love and war, I’d like to remind you that love isn’t fair. It isn’t about who deserves your love, it’s about who do you love, at the end of the day, deserve it or not. It is nobody’s business who you love, and I want you to know another thing, too.

Take the BIGGEST, truest, most amazing love you’ve ever felt for another human being, and use it as a benchmark for making a new connection to another person. If you can’t have the one you love, DO NOT replace that person with an easy-to-get the Survivalist*. If it happens to be that you’re in love with a Sapioamorist the Survivalist* (which are a weird combo of seemingly the Idealists* and the Survivalist* values), you may just be confused about how to make that connection happen. If your True Emotion Mirror is giving you a run around the mill, just figure out how to make the connection complete, DON’T GIVE UP AND START DATING SOME DISAPOINTINGLY AVERAGE (physioamorist) the Survivalist*, simply because they’re there “knowing what they want”. You KNOW how much you can love other people. Never get into a relationship with a person you love LESS than the person you love now.

Do not get talked into relationships you don’t feel good about. DO NOT. Although LOVE grows over time, yes, the ABSENCE OF LOVE also grows over time. There HAS TO BE love, it won’t appear out of nowhere not even for physioamorists. Do not give in here, no matter how much they try and claim that you should. LEARN to establish boundaries to meddling the Survivalist*, and LEARN to tell people to butt out of your love life so they’ll believe you’re serious. (The earlier in the relationship you establish boundaries, the better for you. It can be very difficult or impossible later on, especially with the Survivalist* Physioamorist parent, who truly doesn’t understand boundaries very well.)

1. Business owners: Never make these two types work together. EVER. ↩

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