Sexual Traumas and Embarrassement

This category will, of course, touch some very sensitive topics. I will urge an open mind here, I do not claim to know every answer, and obviously I need you to be responsible for the way you interpret my words – I will try to be as clear as I possibly can – as I do have some controversial ideas about how sexual traumas are created and how they should be healed. For the most part, I feel the key in TOO MANY cases of sexual trauma is the denial of the fact that in many ways, the victim found themselves turned on during the assault, and explaining it away as “well the body reacts to the mechanics of it” won’t help because you know physicality had nothing to do with it… And the shame remains.

Also the expectation that you were supposed to know this was going to happen – or take action to prevent it from happening, the failure of stopping the assault as it happened – or the knowledge that you didn’t actually use every power you had to do that… All of that can create a permanent state of shame when you need to move forward from the experience. What kind of a person allows themselves to be raped, right? And how did your attacker know you would let them do what they did?

There are truly awful cases of brutal sexual attacks that work the way traditional psychology treats them, but for those of us who do not react to sexual assaults the way psychology expects us to will experience a trauma in the hands of non-sexual people who want to hide from the entire idea of sex, particularly this type.

And yes, I call it sex. I don’t call ALL RAPE sex, but I call some of it… Sex.

This category will probably rise a lot of conflicted emotions but let me remind you that people who enjoyed their own rape have heard how twisted, traumatised, and “brainwashed” they are already, no need to repeat it. Please do not make things worse by reminding them that their authentic opinion “will make it OK to rape any woman” because it doesn’t. This is not about giving all men the green light to rape anything that moves, but this is something that needs to be talked about honestly and openly, and in a trusting environment between adults.

I moderate all comments on this site, and will not publish the most offensive ones. This may create a slightly warped view on how people are reacting to these posts – just assume that a lot of obvious and predictable objection has been deleted as offensive.

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