Should I give my True Emotion Mirror runner an ultimatum?

This is almost without an exception the course of action people make with their runners if they have any footing with them at all. However, I will tell you straight up, regardless of what type a Spirit Mirror this person is, healing, core, true, potential or partial, that this is a BAD IDEA, A BAD, BAD, BAD, IDEA and you should NEVER take that action for as long as you live no matter what! I’ll tell you why.

Ultimatums are most often given to a married Mirror, who is facing a difficult choice between the life (woman?) that he wants and the life that he has promised to someone else. Now, here is the irony: You are trying to convince a guy to break one promise and promise you the same thing. What is his promise good for if he breaks the first one? No, your relationship cannot be based on promises, but it must be based on natural progression from one state to the next without force. Granted, they probably feel more for you than their spouse (at the moment) but what once was a flaming love affair between them two was killed by the pressures of marriage; being forced to give something that was first meant as a gift. Now, you are trying to do the same. (And yes, even a True Mirror love can be suffocated inside a marriage.)

If there is no other person in the picture, the ultimatum idea makes even less sense. That’s when you’re trying to pressure someone into “a commitment”, which in real terms is to grant you a subscription based contract to their love reserves from here on in regardless whether they really feel it or not (at the time). Love is not something you can promise another person to give a life time’s supply of, but if you allow it to flow freely, it’ll grow in time; put constraints in it, and it will gradually suffocate. You have to trust your feelings, you have to be able to say that your love withstands whatever it needs to, your lover can do no wrong in your eyes, not even loving someone else would diminish or hinder your feelings toward them. An ultimatum is your way of saying: “If you don’t do as I want, I will stop loving you.” That is not a thing you want to say to a person you want to trust your love for the end of eternity.

You also need to address the reason why you feel an ultimatum is necessary. It comes from insecurity – you know they could just as well choose someone or something over you – but what makes you think you aren’t enough for them? So rather than decide you’re going to threaten them to give them less love and less attention if they don’t comply, why not consider ways you can be more, give more and love more. Trust me, these are things that won’t make you poor, they won’t diminish the more you give, nor will the recipient think that “goodo’s she loves me so much now that I can just piss off and leave the tap running” – and if they do, then fuck, good riddance, don’t you think? There’s not many people who are brave enough to squander love, although this is one thing that we have an endless supply of, and once you find someone who loves and respects you, listens to you and understands you, levels with you without reservation or strings attached, why would you want to go away?

And, if you end up giving all your love and realise this love was never needed or wanted, then, you pick up the pieces and move on. If they don’t want you, there’s nothing you can do about it, and giving an ultimatum is definitely going to send them packing or they succumb to the pressure but are they going to love you any more? Of course not. It’s a lose-lose situation, whether it works or not. You may be able to chain them to yourself for the rest of your life, but this is not a fertile ground for true love. Playing it safe will make you lose out in the long run, if not lose out completely. No winners here.

Besides, what if they decide to not take you up on your offer? Then what? Are you just going to happily walk away and fall in love with someone else or what? No, I didn’t think so, so what’s the point of the ultimatum? It’s all a bluff and puts you in a very bad light to boot.

A good ultimatum comes out gladly, with joy, and happiness; “you’re mine, you know, you’re mine and you better accept it!” A bad ultimatum is calculative, comes out of fear and threats. If you are a happy gun-slinger, give into every instinct you have about this situation, and stop following advice. 🙂

(Why is marriage bad for love? It takes away the joy of giving love, it makes love something that you owe to the other person, and if you fail to show love or give love you are breaching a contract. Shame follows for both of you, as society judges you based on the love you feel for one another and if your friends notice you’re not in love anymore, you start blaming the other for failing to love you as they promised. You try to remedy the situation by forcing love to return, but as love should be a joyous gift it has now turned into an obligation, and will be very difficult to revive. People who succeed in marriage don’t view it this way, but it is all too easy to do so.)

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