Should you allow your children to disagree with you?

Let me tell you this: as a parent, there is probably no better gift to give your child than the self-confidence to express a differing opinion. Whenever you CAN, look for opportunities to invite them to express disagreement, their view, their own perspective, and for them to learn how to express it so that you actually understand what they are saying. Expect them to express themselves with respect and patience, but allow them to express a differing point of view. Don’t be afraid to alter your perspective or approach based on what they tell you; this will teach them that there is a point to saying something in the future, too, rather than quietly accepting one’s fate, whatever a boss or superior of sorts tells them. DON’T EVER assume your children are stupid or don’t know how this world works. They may be much older souls than you, and basically, your 8-year-old may be older and wiser than you are, and if you listen to them, they’ll be sure to observe the world with a keener eye – I promise you’ll be impressed by what they see and are aware of.

Nonetheless, unless you listen to their perspective and their difference of opinion, you also can’t convince them to listen to you. They may obey you, but they may still not trust you. Obedience doesn’t mean trust; it means submission and accepting the situation for what it is; every lifetime they’ve lived, they’ve learned children are at the bottom of the pecking order and should be, but they should not be there without a voice.

What you will also NEVER EXPERIENCE if you cannot allow your children to disagree with you… You’ll never know your children as people, only blobs that you brought into this world and are now bobbing around you as mindless creatures fully adapted to please your whims. If you want to know your kids, you have to let them disagree with you and to be different from you without taking it as a personal attack on your authority or your character.

Also, the last thing you want is for some random adult on the internet to be the one who takes your kid seriously when you cannot.

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