Should you “give people a chance” for you to fall in love with them?

This is a post for the Cat Thinker*s. Dog-type thinkers already know the answer to this or have never struggled with it at all.

When a person asks for your romantic love or friendship, you tend to feel pressure to give them that chance. You, as a Cat Thinker*, assume that person means they sense a connection between you two and feel you don’t know them well enough yet to say you don’t love them. You also assume that if they ASK, they KNOW something; they are so confident of their sense of your connection that they’re willing to risk whatever comes out of it. Even if you feel NOTHING for that person, you may feel compelled to give them a chance.

If the person asking you is a Cat Thinker*, they probably feel just that: “I KNOW we’re meant to be. Give me a chance, and I’ll show you I’m what you’re looking for.” If a Cat Thinker* asks for a chance, they’re usually right. But for them to be worth a chance, you must also feel a LEVEL of attraction or curiosity toward this person, even if you don’t see how far it could go. The interest needs to exist, even if you feel there are a few kinks to work out or that they’re not your usual type and you don’t really know where to put them.

Dog-Types mean a different thing when they ask for a chance.

However, if the person asking is a Dog Thinker*, they are asking you to give them a chance to show that they “know how to do relationships.” This is a concept that Cat Thinker*s find very weird – they assume EVERYONE knows how to be in a relationship. To a Cat Thinker*, this is not a skill that needs proving. Of course, they do. However, the Dog Thinker* further means when they ask for this change, they want a chance to prove they’re NORMAL and NOT WEIRD. (This, you already know and are bored with. Cat Thinker*s rarely want anyone they’d describe as “normal” they might be looking for either specifically “weird” and definitely someone “special.” They are utterly BORED with “normal.”)

Dog-Types want to prove they’re LOYAL (which means they won’t leave you even if they cheat on you, NOT that they won’t cheat.) They want to prove they’re HELPFUL and an asset to you like a business partner in life; practical partner. If they are very impressed by you, they may mean that they are willing to CHANGE into anything you want them to be, which means they’re asking for a chance to be TRAINED into your ideal employee, partner, or a friend. ALWAYS say no to these unless it’s a job, you’re confident they’re smart enough for the job, you’re not the one training them, and you won’t work closely with them anyway.

“Love will come once you get to know them?”

Dog Thinkers* also fall in love with people FOR STICKING AROUND. Literally, only because they stuck around. They can be MEAN, they can be NASTY, they can be BORING and troublesome, but as long as they stick around, the Dog Thinkers* are likely to fall in love with that person for simply sticking around. Therefore, they BELIEVE that everyone feels that way. They try to reassure Cat Thinker*s that they will fall in love with a person for sticking around, “the love will come later” but this only ever works with the Dog-Type People.

Don’t say “yes” to be polite – Dog Thinkers* get attached easily. Say ‘no’ to be kind.

Suppose you’re on a date with someone who seems interested in you. If you’re feeling very indifferent about them, don’t say yes to the second date to be polite. Say no to it to be kind. If this person is a Dog Thinker*, they’ll get easily attached, and leaving them will be impossible before you even notice having a relationship with them. Every time you say yes to them, particularly if they beg for it, it gives them the message that by nagging and begging, they’ll get whatever they want from you. If they do beg, ask them what they want to prove, and compare their answer to the above.

ALWAYS say no to all suggestions to personal relationships with a Dog Thinker*. ONLY EVER give chances of personal nature to another Cat Thinker*, for a Dog Thinker* does not have the the innate capacity to be what you need them to be, no matter how much they try. Don’t let them get attached because once they’re attached, they will suffer enormously when you finally dump them as a friend or a lover “because you’re just not feeling it.” They don’t understand what you mean, and they’ll think they’ve done something horrific to make you feel this way. They will NEVER understand why you don’t love them after spending so much time with you, and after they’ve proven themselves to be reliable, punctual, and an all-around normal person.

Cat Thinker*s need to curb their final strand of narcissism.

While Cat Thinker*s are not narcissistic, they tend to have a this particular narcissistic trait if they are in any way attractive. They may have a little narcissistic idea of how much their love means to people because they often find Dog-Types guilt-tripping them into giving them chances.

The problem is that good-looking Cat Thinker*s may be TOO NICE to people and give TOO MANY CHANCES to people who are not worthy of them, and they give green light to people they shouldn’t even notice existing. This gives TOO MUCH HOPE for a Dog-Type person – they think they’re within a chance when they never truly were. Learn to pretend you didn’t see them or that you’re too busy to ever talk. This is your best life skill to learn. 😀 This may not be politically correct, but will work on the psychological level without leaving a scar. The politically correct, woke version “love/like/accept everyone” will wound a Dog Thinker* to the core.

It’s OK to sleep around – but don’t imply serious interest.

It would be BETTER if you’d simply sleep around with anyone willing while you’re not interested in anyone specifically rather than attempt to create semi-serious relationships with people who you already know you won’t love. Dog Thinkers* understand casual relationships and why people will only use them for sex, but they WILL NOT UNDERSTAND “trial relationships,” and frankly, they shouldn’t. It’s just that thinking difference I explained in the beginning, why both types are now confused for different reasons: Cat-Types thinking “if you ask, you must feel a special connection,” and the Dog Thinker(s)* -thinking* “if you say no, you must think I’m weird somehow, I’ll prove to you I’m normal.”

Be proudly promiscuous, and tell everyone you’re not looking for serious relationships, until you meet someone you would be interested in. Still, both male and female Cat Thinker* need clues, maybe even a verbal ones; “you make me want a serious relationship,” “you better run now if you don’t want anything serious, because I’m developing feelings,” or something to the effect. Cat Thinker*s know how easy it is to let one’s romantic hopes and wishes run away with them, so they need to hear SOME verbal clues as to what you’re thinking if you’re moving toward serious feelings.

Cat Thinker*s must know that they are VERY cautious in trusting another person’s wish to commit. You MUST encourage each other, where Dog Thinkers* needs discouraging to be even get interested – they want to feel an elevation of status, therefore, a rejection means they’re asking for something that is slightly too good for them. Cat Thinker*s don’t think that way; they need encouraging.

If you need to give your friendship as a favor, you’re being fake.

the Old Souls* will also have to stop making friends out of “charitable” reasons. IF YOU’RE THINKING you’ll do a favour to someone by PRETENDING to like them, or TRYING TO LEARN TO LIKE THEM, you’re only being a narcissistic prick, not a hero. NEVER offer friendship to a person you are not genuinely interested in, even if that person is in a wheelchair, drooling, and looking like the most pathetic person you’ve ever seen. If they HAPPEN to be a Dog Thinker*, they will believe you saw something special in them, and nothing you’ll ever say will change that.

(“Something special” meaning something dream like, nothing along the lines of “everyone is special in their own way” which is true, but as you believe that, you’ll also believe they have a capacity to find real friends and true love, and you’ll show them respect by leaving them to it.)

NEVER ever disrespect a person again by thinking they NEED a charity friend. If you were in their position, you wouldn’t want that, either, you’d hope that someone sees your true nature behind all that misfortune, and is a TRUE friend; not just someone who TRIES to find what might be lovable about you because you look so pathetic. You’d also not wish to be a person someone else uses as a halo-polishing rag. Just be the kind of piece of shit that you are and love the beautiful smart people that you actually do love, and put the halo-polish down.

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