Signs of narcissism that get overlooked: Could it be me, instead?

There are certain seemingly common or normal signs of narcissism that often get overlooked as they are…. well, sanctioned by other narcissists.

Imagine this scenario: someone rejects you or ends a relationship with you. A healthy person should be able to accept this as a part of life – unpleasant but an adult must be able to handle those emotions of not being loved. A narcissist, however, reacts differently.

1. They accuse the other person of a mental disorder, intimacy issues, fear of commitment, the like, in order to avoid the notion that they, themselves weren’t enough.
2. They blame the person who leaves them for being generally “a bad person”.
3. They feel that a person who has made no contact with them whatsoever for several months or even years, is doing it just to gain their attention.
4. They feel that a person who is leaving them or has left them has done so in order to punish or to control, rather than to simply wanting a different, or a new relationship (or to even end this one as it has turned out to be toxic or controlling).
5. When that other person refuses to cater to and serve their emotional and physical needs (as a mother, friend, ex-lover, or the co-parent of their child) at the expense of their own happiness and well-being, they accuse that person for being selfish for not sacrificing their own happiness on behalf of the narcissist.
6. A narcissist often sees the world from “us against them” perspective, and views other people as their allies against “the stranger danger” so when a family member (or a friend) leaves they feel they’re “drawing attention” to the family in a negative way. True or false for you?
7. A narcissist feels that drawing negative attention to the family or a group of friends is “a bad thing to do” in general, and that a person doing so is “selfish”, “childish”, and “a bad team player”.

The best question to decide whether you are a narcissist or not is this:

CAN YOU TAKE/ACCEPT A REJECTION Or a breakupwithout blaming the other person for having mental issues?

1. Do you feel like you always have to have a friend or a partner in order to be proven to be valuable as a human being? (Of course, everyone wants to have company, but their function is to prove to others that you’re not a loser.)
2. Do you anger at the thought that someone who you would accept as a partner, thinks there might be someone better out there FOR THEM? Simply a better match to them than you are?
3. Are you fine with the idea that you’re not everyone’s cup of tea – even if they were yours?
4. Can you accept that another person has the right to choose a partner or friend based on their own values even if you would not use or accept those values as meaningful? (For instance, is it OK by you, that a man would choose a partner simply because they have big boobs and blonde hair – just the way they like them?)
5. Do you feel that because you are good at living a normal life, you don’t deserve rejection from ANYBODY?

Tell you the truth

I don’t TRULY believe in narcissism as a diagnosis at all, basically. There’s just two ways of thinking about things: a team or an individual -perspective. The Normal Person* like the team, the Savants* like individuality. What COULD BE regarded as a symptom of actual narcissism is not so much how you prefer doing things, but how much right do you feel you have to force others to a) play in your team whether they want to or not  b) play a game based on your rules, whether they agree with them or not.

The point is: DO PEOPLE HAVE PERMISSION TO (want to) GO LIVE A LIFE WITHOUT YOU IN IT?

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