Soulmate connection: Is this unrequited love or is there hope?

There are a couple of questions to help you decide whether you are holding onto someone who is not your true love or whether you still have hope to have them in your life. Unrequited love can be painful, but is it hopeless? Also, true love doesn’t have to be painful, because emotional pain is always created in the false ego. People who do not have a false ego do not feel pain for themselves, they can only feel pain as a response to their own regret of what they have done to someone else. Whether it is true love or not is not a question of how painful it was, but how do you feel for them on a good day:

Here are my magic questions to decide whether or not your love is real:

1. Can you accept the theoretical possibility that this person does not belong to you?
2. Imagine that your family has owned a beautiful house for generations, and now someone is telling you that for a reason or another you can no longer live in it. How similar do you feel when someone tells you that this person does not belong to you?

Bonus question:

• Someone is trying to talk you out of your obsession with this person. Which of the statements are you more likely to agree with: “You don’t really want them.” or “They don’t really want you.”

Let yourself contemplate both questions for a moment. You may instantly know the answer when you ask yourself these questions. And to keep you from seeing the “correct answers” too quickly, I’m going to be rambling on a little bit. The “right answer” is going to be different in both questions, unlike you might have expected.

To those of you, whose love is real, these questions may seem odd or deluded. You’d think why would you ask me such a thing. To the rest of you, the news aren’t that good.

You do need to accept a theoretical possibility that this person might not love you or belong to you or have any real connection to you apart from your insistence that they belong to you by some seen or unseen love that they may or may not agree with. Laws can, by the way, be imposed on only those people who accept the authority of the person who made those laws. Therefore, if your soulmate does not answer to God, you cannot hold them to a behavior that God demands of them, for instance. This, in relation to the belief that True Emotion Mirrors¹ are already married in the spirit by God. What I believe, though is that marriage is simply human idea of equating a person as a possession and meant specifically to keep true love from ruining a legitimate legal relationship and there, we move to the next question and its answer:

If this is your true love, you would never equate them to a possession of any kind, because that would be an insult to the person that they are and the love that you feel for them. Interestingly, you can still feel some level of true love towards a person who you consider your possession, and likely, you do, BUT… Your ego has to get out of the way first. What is hurting in you when someone tells you, you can’t have what you want is your false ego (your insecurity and uncertainty of who you are combined with the fear of not being who you wish to be). When you have held it as your truth that this person belongs to you, and someone is trying to point out that they do not belong to you, you feel pain because the lies you have told yourself are shattering and exposing you to the reality you don’t want to face.

The answer to the bonus question, and the reason I ask is this: True Emotion Mirrors² are MORE THAN READY to accept that the other one might not want them. That is the reason why they are both kind of running or at least afraid to approach, making them both feel like the chaser even though they are both running. As for Trail Companions*, as in people who are not really good for each other, the chaser is likely to feel like they are doing the runner a favor by being interested, and that the chaser doesn’t really want the runner, but because they are “soulmates” or “meant to be”, they are willing to overlook the fact that this is the case, because after all, what’s there not for the runner to want, if they weren’t dumb enough to not notice?

If the idea that they might not belong to you causes you feelings like anger, shame, embarrassment or fear of any kind, you have got some issues to deal with before you can even begin a the process of reconnecting with your True Emotion Mirrors* no matter who they are.

Ask yourself further questions: 

1. Why does this anger me? (They have no right telling me this? I don’t want to live in a world where I do not have a soulmate? I hate them for pointing out I am not as good as they are?)
2. Why do I feel like someone is trying to humiliate me? (They are asking me to accept I am not as good as they are? – you are using your lover as your show pony; an extension to your false ego.)
3. Consider this: If someone else would marry them, how would you feel? They have no right? If you can’t have them, nobody else should, either? Or, perhaps: “They are an incredible human being who deserve all the happiness in the world but I hope they are not marrying the wrong person… because I think I’m it.”

A person with a healthy relationship to themselves and their environment will know without any difficulty that they cannot own another human being, definitely not without them having given themselves to them through some ceremony that actually took place. Now, we can discuss the effects of soul-level conversations between True Emotion Mirrors another time, and the sense of ownership that may come from that, but suffices to say that True Emotion Mirrors* will normally feel very quick to accept that the other MIGHT NOT love them. This fear, in most people, is so instant, too, that being reminded of taking time to consider whether or not you believe that they might not love you is a little bit of a useless suggestion because that is all you ever think about; “Am I crazy? Why do I think they would love me? They never said anything, why do I, I still feel like they love me?”

A Trail Companion* feels slightly differently towards their “runner”: “I love you.” That’s it. They feel as though the fact that they love someone should be more than enough of a reason for the other to stop running and go: “OH MY GOD! YOU LOVE ME?! You, you angel, you God’s Gift To Humanity, YOU WOULD LOVE ME?! ME, THE WORTHLESS OF THE EARTH? Oh how wonderful!” When you read that, it will probably sound sarcastic, but an Enigma³ Chaser expects something exactly like that to happen. They are the present that they are giving to the object of their obsessions: “Here, look, you CAN HAVE ME!” And, they feel bewildered when the Enigma simply ignores them, out of sheer disinterest, not because they are in denial. Enigma chaser believes their Enigma runner is in denial of how wonderful they, themselves are, and how lucky they would be to have them. An Enigma chaser will also believe they are SAVING the runner from the world, and teaching them how to live better, which, admittingly is very close to the feeling True Emotion Mirrors feel but with a lot less contempt towards the runner. True Emotion Mirrors do not feel contemptuous towards their runner, they feel frustrated perhaps, bewildered, uncertain of what to do, angry even, but never contemptuous (unless they work up that emotion out of self-defence by coming up with lies and beliefs they attach to the runner in order to cut the chord). For an Enigma chaser, the feeling of contempt is quite automatic and genuine. OK, as always there’s tons of ways for the Enigma -connection to play out in practice, but that is essentially what the chaser feels: they are the superior, the gift, the blessing they are offering to the Enigma, not the other way around. A person who feels true love towards someone, even if they were completely aware of their own value and what they can give to their True Emotion Mirror, (and they do need every ounce of that self-respect to even approach them as an equal,) they still feel like the luckiest individual in the world to be loved by someone like their True Emotion Mirror.

Did that answer your question?

1. A new age concept of soulmates that are created by a split of a soul each half perfect for the other. ↩

2. People completely perfect for each other on every possible level. ↩

3. Enigma runner is an object of unrequited love, where as the Enigma Chaser is the person who is unable to accept that this is, in fact, one-sided love. ↩

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