Stop trying so hard – and what to do instead for success

Especially when it comes to feelings and emotions (I am never quite sure if there’s a difference between the two) we are very much confused about when we think should feel something but cannot. But let me phrase it this way: If you touch something, say, a coffee mug, you would never beat yourself up about it having gotten cold while it was hot before. You know it is not your sense of touch that is insulting the coffee by noticing it has gotten cold, you would know that “Hey. My coffee got cold. Better make a new pot.” It would be ridiculous to try and force your hands to feel the mug as hot event hough it is cold, wouldn’t it. But yet, we can’t stop trying to feel love when it’s already gone.

If you notice your coffee is always getting cold before you get to work, perhaps, you still wouldn’t blame the coffee on it, let alone your hand or mouth for noticing it got cold, you would blame the way you transport the coffee from one place to another for it getting cold before you had time to drink it.

Your feelings are only reporting the current situation, they are not to be blamed when they report something like: “I can’t feel the love anymore”. Your feelings are nothing but your sixth sense. Your ability to sense emotions and to identify them for what they are, and blaming yourself for your inability to sense love is like blaming your ears for not being able to hear a sound that isn’t there, or your eyes for not seeing what is not there.

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