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Messages from Sebastyne as chosen by the Universe.

Random thoughts about narcissistic relationships

Narcissists will always attempt to safe face by blaming all relationship issues on someone else. They fear relationships, and they fear being alone, but when they are once again at the brink of a breakup, they need YOU TO KNOW that IT WAS YOUR FAULT, your ex’s fault, your mother’s fault, maybe your dog’s fault, […]

Don’t worry, we don’t judge you for your failed relationships, dear celebs.

While in the 1950’s, celebrity divorces may have made people gasp in horror, Gen X or anyone younger won’t give a f*** anymore. We get it. Most of our relationships are just as messy these days, just not front-page news. XD

Your relationships are not your job.

Even parenting should be a privilege and a joy, or you’re doing it wrong. NO RELATIONSHIP that you have an option to not have is not a job. This leaves work relationships that are literally a job as jobs, but your personal relationships are all NOT A JOB. They exist to make your life better, […]

Do not have relationships to please God or your parents.

And for the love of God don’t have kids to please someone else. The last thing we need in this world is a bunch of unwanted children for an unwilling parent, if we need more people at all. We’ve got enough people, thanks. Have children if it pleases you. Have relationships if it pleases you. […]

Realism in relationships makes you a lot less vulnerable for emotional hurt, but you have to learn to play your way through meaningless drama.

Some people enjoy the drama of emotional hurt. Some people hide behind the drama and enjoy the drama even when the relationship breakup and troubles are real. These people like to “feel big” by replacing real emotions with empty drama because drama is meaningless. Nobody really gets hurt during drama. However, if you see drama […]

Friendship and relationships between different kinds of people require a lot of empathy – not sympathy.

Sympathy is something people connect through when they are with people kin to themselves. They feel the same. They understand each other effortlessly. Friendship between different kinds of people requires empathy both ways. You must acknowledge your differences and still understand each other, your perspectives, situations, and life goals. “Do unto others as you’d do […]

Men in romantic relationships must learn to WANT STUFF, too.

Men with wants are sexy. Fulfilling a man’s desires is titillating to a straight woman. If a woman feels otherwise, maybe she’s not in the right relationship or even with the right gender, or she has some other issues to work through. I don’t know. For the purpose of this post, that is not our […]

People with intimacy issues will hang onto relationships in which they are not quite wanted.

When you have a fear of intimacy, you run from relationships that are actually available to you and cling to those that are not. That makes the relationship very superficial and thus manageable for someone who has a fear of intimacy. They will never have to measure up to the expectations of a spouse or […]

Is it possible to fix relationships with the “stuck in an elevator” -method?

Many of us believe that it would be the best way to solve any relationship problems to lock the feeding parties into a room until they sort out their differences. I have now been in a simulated situation such as that for over ten years, and yes, some relationships solved within hours, and some have […]

Wrong thinking #1: There are winners and losers in romantic relationships.

For as long as you think that love is something you win or lose, you’ll be guaranteed to hurt in relationships. GUARANTEED. You’ll ALWAYS either lose or fear losing. You’ll watch over your shoulder for fitter, more committed competitors, people who are just dying to steal your partner from you. You’ll always be on the […]

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