Talking about your non-standard family.

When you meet (or have a soul conversation with) your True Emotion Mirrors and Precious Soulmates, you’ll find that your happiness means a great deal more to them than other people. They will pick up on any sorrow or pain in you, and they’ll want it to go away. (Sometimes, they may avoid seeing it completely because they can’t handle the idea of you in pain.) Family conflicts are one of those things, although some of them may have a similar family situation and they just get it without needing help from you. Other times, this might help:

Whenever there is a family conflict, people who love you the most (and are dissimilar to you) may want to solve that family conflict for you, even when you don’t want them to. Therefore, it may help, if you express it in a way that solves the conflict in your expression of it. You see, there might be, must be something in your family that is true for all of you. Let me use myself as an example once again.

My TV-sitcom family.

I’ve been talking about my family, as my mom and I are like chalk and cheese. There’s a conflict. Now, what I realized, with the help of my concerned True Emotion Mirror after pressuring us to solve things for over ten years in spirit. He pointed out that what troubles him is the conflict; help him not worry about it (once we meet) by expressing how you are all THE SAME. I stuttered for a while: “US??!! THE SAME?! We’re nothing alike!!” Then, I realized that ooh. We ARE similar in some ways. We are not really INTERESTED in each other. We don’t really get into each other’s lives. We kinda DO love each other, but in a way that you love a character on TV; you observe them without interacting with them.

Still, to contrast, I feel MORE CONNECTED with many of my rock heroes than my family members. I feel like some of these guys I worship understand me (or would understand me). I have more in common with a bunch of celebrities than my family. But, TV sitcom, right? We can feel the joy and pleasure of a TV character’s traits without having real interaction with them. That is, I feel, how me and my family love each other. I love certain things about my mom, my dad, my brother, his beautiful lovely wife and gorgeous three kids, and even my quirky, weird aunts and uncles (I have no cousins to love but a few bizarre step-cousins); they’re all freaking awesome… But I don’t like them in my life. I think they feel very similarly toward me; that weird fucking thing Seb… She’s awesome but best kept at arm’s length.

I don’t think I’d watch that sitcom unless I were in it tho. 😀 You know… I’m not really INTERESTED in the others. 😀 They do fine as side characters, but main characters, oh, yawn. 😀 I am pretty sure they feel the same way about themselves.

Guilt for not being the Ingalls.

My mom and I especially have felt enormous guilt for being this distant from each other and, in my case, the rest of the family. That has been the conflict; the belief we’d have to be the same as others. We look at other mother-daughter pairs and think: “My god! How can they BE like that together? Where do they find the discussion topics?!” We’re not like that. We struggle to communicate, we are strangers to each other, we both have a ton of friends, and we’re quite nice and awesome with OTHER PEOPLE, but with each other, uh, disaster. And the conflict is that we both TRY SO HARD because OTHER families do it so easily. That’s not who we are, tho; we were never MEANT TO BE the same in THAT WAY. We all have our keen interests elsewhere.

The funny thing is, personally speaking, I always found our quirkiness very liberating. I learned early on that there was no such thing as “normal” or “common.” We are VERY DIFFERENT types of people in one family. It is difficult to point out a similarity, APART from the differences and the tendency to be focussed on one’s OWN thing over the family.

I call my mother after two years, and it seems like she hasn’t even noticed. She picks up on dogging on me like it was yesterday that I refused to do as told. We don’t miss each other. But especially, me and mom have felt guilty about the fact we don’t. She always moans: “Oh, I know I was always absent when you were a teen; I was SO TIRED from work…” And I’m like, “What are you talking about? I was HAPPY you weren’t there. I could put my music on as loud as I wanted until you got home. :D” Precious alone time away from those freaks.

I’ve felt guilty for not really wanting to visit home, and they’ve probably felt guilty not asking me to more often, but the one thing my mom has fought against is my notion of “look, you don’t love me, why do you insist on pretending you do? Don’t worry about it, I don’t love you, either. Can’t we just move on?” THAT she hasn’t accepted as a true statement, and if you think of it in that TV-character way, she’s right.

So maybe, in all our dysfunction, we do function after all. The only thing we’ve suffered over is that… We’re not the Ingalls family, but we thought we should be.

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