The art of ass kissing – paying real compliments that matter

The easiest two ways to make a person like you is to a) agree with them a lot and b) paying compliments to them. However, both can backfire a bit, but this post is mostly about paying people compliments.

When making friends in general, the idea is to make people like your company. They must feel good about themselves when they are near you. This can be used to your advantage, you can knowingly turn on the charm and turn it down, too, so you can adjust who will regard you as a real friend and who does not.

When to pay compliments

1. When you want to make a friend out of someone.
2. When you want to put someone at ease in your presence. (In order to say: “I am not the enemy. I am not a threat to you, and I don’t judge you.” (Top-down.)

When not to pay compliments

1. When you genuinely dislike someone.
2. When you want to use this person to your advantage. (Bottom-up.)
3. Just to pay back a compliment they gave you, without your wish to make friends with them.

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