the Idealists* and the Survivalist* thinking humor

OK.

the Idealists* thinking humor on a dating site: “Oh so you’re not into necrophilia then… Too bad, I thought you were a real kinkster, and now it turns out you’re all vanilla!”

the Survivalist*: “OMG, where do I get these crazies?” *Block*

The Idealists* believes everyone knows it is SO RARE to be into fucking dead people, that you are safe to assume that is a joke, and that it is such a taboo that you wouldn’t bring it up too casually if it applied to you. A Survivalist*, however, is always looking for confessions in what you say, so if you joke about necrophilia, it means you are into it. They are not judgemental, and like to reveal their worst traits straight away, so people can adapt to them easier. They don’t assume things like these are a deal breaker, it’s just that people need the heads up. “I’m a necrophiliac, surely that’s fine?!” To some the Survivalist* it would be a non-issue, but a complete deal breaker for most the Idealists*, unless they happen to be one, too. The Idealists* accept people who are weird the same way they are, the Survivalist* accept people who are upfront about their flaws and failures. Unfortunately, what they consider flaws is very different to a Idealists*, who doesn’t regard things as flaws nor secrets and shares them with whomever, while the Survivalist* thinks: “ooo, they trust/like me!”

In contrast… (I might get this wrong as I am a Idealists*, so my examples may be a little off, but they tend to try to insult you the best way they can but think you should know it’s a joke. The purpose of it is to show guts and how “I don’t fear you” or “You can respect me” and “I am ready to make intimate friends by being bold enough to insult you”.)

the Survivalist* thinking humor: “Oh look at you, see you have a bit of a receding hairline there! ;)”

the Idealists*: “Well that was nice. Bitch.” *Block*

The Survivalist* thinks things like receding hairlines mean absolutely nothing, so poking fun at each other’s weaknesses is a way to create an air of “you see I notice your flaws but we’re still talking, I like you enough to ignore such things.” In contrast, the Idealists* sees this as a direct poke to an obvious insecurity issue that he/she feels is there, but one would wish others would leave it the fuck alone – if it’s an issue, just move onto another person, no need to poke a stick at a sore spot.

Further, the Idealists* joke a lot intellectually. It’s a battle of wits often. “Do you get this? Do you get that? Do you understand the gist of this joke?” The more the other understands the other one’s jokes means they think alike and are interested in the same things. They love puns, but they also use sarcasm indirectly a lot to express what they don’t like in a person and the purpose of the other is to pick that up, realize that it wasn’t a joke ABOUT THEM, but if they feel the sting, it may become a problem in the relationship, and if it is a big thing, they should pick up and move onto the next person. (“If you’re like the person I laugh at, be informed I won’t appreciate that, not here to judge, to each their own, but that won’t work for me.”)

the Idealists* are VERY CAREFUL  not to cause each other emotional hurt, and consider anyone who is careless about their insecurities and sore spots, that they are more than painfully aware of (because these things DO MATTER to them, in you, in them, in everyone), and while they feel those things bring them down a bit, they hope sensitivity regarding those matters. They directly evaluate people by their ability to remain gentle about each other’s flaws, and although they are hardly superficial, THEY ARE vain in every way imaginable, they are perfectionists and they do not like having their flaws thrown back at them – they know they’re there. They want their lover to approach those matter EVENTUALLY, but only after a full trust has been established.

The Survivalist* want all of that stuff gone straight away. They are not vain nor perfectionist, and the downside to this is that as soon as they get into a relationship, they start letting themselves go, and the more loved they feel, the less they feel the need to try harder or to stay on top of things. So although this approach is a relaxed one, it drives the Idealists* insane in the long run, because they do RESPECT other people by keeping their standards high, and that is also their way of loving other people, to give them the best version of who they are and can be. They also don’t feel loved when people around them start slacking off showing them that their opinion of them doesn’t matter at all.

The Survivalist* often go into a relationship with their ass first, so to speak, they show the WORST they can be to people who they are serious about. They are AWFUL at each other at first, and then, if they get acceptance at their worst, they’ll improve over time, but… Only up to a point, that to a Idealists* is rarely enough.

However, their sense of humor follows this same line; the Survivalist*: You’re shit, I’m shit, let’s be shit together, and the Idealists*: I’m not perfect but I am trying hard to be. I wish you’d love me for who I want to become, or, even who I was when I was at my best, (and who I want to be again in the next life,) rather than the wreck I am now. I have my standards, and I understand you have yours, do they match?

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