the Savants* fight for the turf, the Normal Person* fight to teach you/to be taught how to be friends with them.

the Normal Person* Thinking family members almost never fight because they’re angry or because they hate you. They fight because they’re concerned and love you and try to educate you. With the Cat Thinking family members, they’re concerned because the Savants* doesn’t seem to be merging with the family the right way. They will always seem a little aloof and distant and will almost never offer to help with domestic duties within the Normal Person* Thinking household.

In a Cat Thinking household, domestic duties are done without a second thought; NOT ONE OF THEM wants to focus on domestic duties. Therefore, they’re with as little fuss as possible. The Normal Person*, however, love their household duties and will make a maximum effort to ensure everyone knows domestic duties are being done. Now is the time to join if you want to… They sound like dogs barking to make a lot of noise while playing… But to a Savants*, this invitation is about as exciting as a note from your dentist: “Time for your root canal…” They’d probably prefer the root canal, to be honest.

the Normal Person* raise their voices to educate you about the pack’s rules and habits. They try to give you the knowledge you need to be a productive family member. The Savants* try to educate their children to become independent – away from the pack – a productive member of society – the Normal Person* try to educate you to be a part of the family. When a Savants* starts educating people on how to treat them, they’re typically in the process of breaking up with them, and the message is: “This is why you failed your exam.” Not: “You’ve passed your entrance exam; a few tweaks: this is how you’ll become a fully qualified wife/husband.” But that’s how the Normal Person* view it. “Oh, they ‘only’ want me to be of the opposite gender. Right, because that’s fair!” They may be displeased, but they still stick around TO TRY to be whatever impossible the Savants* “demands.”

Further, the Normal Person* refuses to leave because they think they’re being educated for a full role and that all “the door is open, all you need to do is to walk out of it” messages to the Normal Person* are a test on how committed they are. An Savant* may be trying to point out that you are NOT dependent on me; you’re a perfectly capable human being, you’ve been broken up with, and NOTHING stops you from leaving…

Imagine a person shouting at another person at the top of their lungs. The message a Savants* will hear is completely opposite to that of the Normal Person* by default. An Savant* hears: “Get the fuck out of my house/yard RIGHT NOW!” and the Normal Person* hears: “Sit down and fucking relax!!” Regardless of the actual words used. The Normal Person* fight you to love you.

Do you remember when Amber Heard told Johnny Depp, “You never fight for the relationship?” It’s a sentence that makes NO SENSE to a Savants*, especially not in the way it’s intended. Amber was fighting for the relationship with everything she had. Whenever she threw cans at him, the message was, “I love you more than life itself,” but we the Savants* much prefer greeting cards and kisses… But the Normal Person* feel they can’t give you love until you’ve fought properly, and usually the Savants*, once they fight you properly, is when they finally turn completely cold and leave. They send the message “you’re worthless to me” the same way as the Normal Person* say, “You’re everything to me.” Avoiding that fight, which often turns physical with the Normal Person*, will only make the relationship linger because however that fight is conducted, the true feelings will come out of it. If the Savants* leaves, the Normal Person* will finally receive the message… Johnny Depp took her to court and won. She got the message so well she left the freaking country.

Finally: the Normal Person* use words in very “white noise” sort of way. There’s almost nothing helpful about what they say during a fight. They also often forget to listen to you when you fight them, they want to hear your tone of voice, NOT what you say. UNFORTUNATELY, a Cat Thinking tone of voice is NEVER helpful to the Normal Person*, because we avoid sounding condescending, disrespectful, we try not to talk down at them, ESPECIALLY if that’s how we truly feel about them, because we can’t take that back. We try to end relationships so that both parties can walk away with self respect.

An Amber Heard fan I can’t remember the name of tweeted once: “Johnny won the relationship, get over it.” This was before the US trial, and at the time that made very little sense to me. I knew it was something the Normal Person* would say, but what on earth…?! “Won the relationship?!” HOW? Fighting him? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?” At the time, it seemed Amber had left Johnny, but the point of this is, that the Normal Person* must “win” or “lose” a breakup. They don’t part as friends. Therefore, sometimes, the Savants* are dragged into a showdown simply because the Normal Person* feel such shame for a breakup that they need every effort to be made to safe face in it, and they don’t really understand how to break up amicably or respectfully, or, in deed, at all.

I urge the Savants* to avoid all relationships with the Normal Person* and vice versa. There always be a fight for hierarchy, and the Savants* better be prepared to win it, because the Normal Person* doesn’t understand equality. You will have to dominate, or to submit, so you’ll better know already whether you’ll be happy submitting, or do you have to dominate the relationship. ALSO KNOW, that the Savants* won’t allow you to carry on an unequal relationship, so if you always set out to dominate, as some the Cat Thinking men especially have chosen to do in their relationships to women, you’ll lose the Savants*… EVEN the Cat Thinking women who consider themselves “submissive” that ONLY means sex, NEVER their everyday life. If you try to dominate them outside the bedroom like the Normal Person* Thinking women want you to, you’ll find your “slave” gone fast. And, the Normal Person* Thinking woman is rarely interesting enough for a Cat Thinking man, because they’re either NOT eloquent or they lie with eloquence, which is, to a Savants*, worse still. An Savant* might be able to send the Normal Person* off on their way by complaining about how their conversation is boring them, but that requires NEVER to argue with them, as argument, to the Normal Person* is nothing but interesting, but not an intellectual pursuit. Rather, ask them to teach you something interesting you don’t know, and express disappointment when they fail at it or try to teach you something boring. (You don’t have to be fair here. You just need to express how bad/boring/disappointing teachers they are and they’ll leave you alone. Do this EVEN if you think they’re dumber than a goose, because the truth is… They think they’re smart. Make them feel dumb, and you win the relationship.)

An Savant* that willingly submits to the Normal Person* is likely also simply avoiding short term discomfort with the expectation of leaving them at the earliest of opportunity. A Normal Person* should never trust the Cat Thinking submission any more than they should trust the Cat Thinking dominance. The Savants* would ONLY dominate to secure sex in a relationship, and hate micro managing every other aspect of their sex slave’s life… But some have reluctantly accepted that to be a part of the deal. In the long term, it’s unlikely the Savants* have the energy to keep on dominating the Normal Person*, and the psychological damage to the Normal Person* who gets dumped is far greater than a Savants* is willing to take responsibility for, so these relationships are best avoided completely. Even if you try to make your rules clear: “this is temporary” the Normal Person* who is “good at submitting” won’t understand why you’d throw out a good dog like that… Unless it’s for a higher-status one.

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