the Cat Type Thinkers; match your energy to friendly but not a doormat.

Your biggest problem as a Cat Type Thinkers is likely to be over-compassionate. This doesn’t mean you’re GENUINELY compassionate, but you feel guilty for not being compassionate at times, so you overreact to a feeling of compassion toward someone. Rather, examine the situation. Are you reacting to an adult the same way as you were a child or a teenager, or is your reaction suitable for an adult who should be your equal? If this is a female, would you still feel equally compassionate and understanding if they were a male, and vice versa?

Be helpful, but not a replacement mommy or daddy.

You will not be only easily exploitable when your emotions “have a leak,” as in you feel responsible for adults who are not your responsibility. (Adult children are responsible for themselves, and you definitely should not feel responsible for someone else’s adult children.) That doesn’t mean you cannot help them, push them onward, cheer them on, or coach them, but you still need to treat them as adults who will be responsible for the outcome of their own informed choices.

If adults decide to ignore the information provided, the outcome is their responsibility, not yours. You are responsible for informing them of things a reasonable adult wouldn’t assume to be general information, for instance, for putting together a reasonable user manual to a new device you’ve manufactured, but you do not need to worry about an adult woman not knowing bread needs yast if she decides to bake without googling it or finding a YouTube video to help her.

Adults don’t know everything and they’re not expected to. What they must do, however, is to carry the responsibility of their own ignorance, especially after ignoring information given to them.

As an adult, be nice to others, but don’t let yourself be guilt-tripped into treating adults (even women) as if they were helpless children.

Being an adult comes with its expectations. It’s not always fun, and it’s sometimes a bit scary. That is no excuse to throw oneself on the floor and start crying for mommy. At least use a bed, alright?! No, all jokes aside, you’re entitled to wishing to have a friend. You are entitled to have friends, lovers, and a support network that will keep you upbeat and secure. What an adult doesn’t have an entitlement to is to choose which adults they consider “elder” and somehow “extra responsible.” When one adult puts in a lot of effort to carry more than their share, they are STILL entitled to CHOOSING who and under what conditions another adult is entitled to their help and support, and definitely their friendship and romantic love.

Some adults seem to think in this manner: “I approve of your teaching/support skills, you are therefore required to teach and support me.” No. No, no, no. You get what you pay for, ladies and gentlemen. Some people can pay back with mutual life lessons and support, but if you cannot offer them what they need, you better have money.

What are you worth for them?

If they expect you to be a reliable, responsible friend, partner, or whatever, they better be prepared to be that to you, too. Being forced to micromanage grown-ass men and women like they were helpless children or teens, is simply not good enough. If they value you so much, they better put in the effort to not tax your resources needlessly and selfishly by being a little brat.

Respect

Have some self-respect and respect other capable adults so that you don’t fall a victim to wimpy needy adults that make your life a misery. Do not take responsibility over adults. That’s their own business. I’d go as far as to say “do not take responsibility for your partner” which sounds awful but there’s a point to it. Have their back, of course you’ll have their back. But don’t allow them to rely on you like a child. Learn to love ADULTS, learn how to love adults. Love is not reserved for children only, and don’t let them lower themselves to a position of a child to feel loved.

Adult-children are drawn to a “responsible adult.”

Adults whose emotional state matches that of a child, are naturally drawn to responsible adults, who, in turn feel that responsibility acutely. Stop feeling responsible for other adults, and you’ll start being attractive to emotionally mature adults ONLY. You do not need to be anybody’s replacement mommy or replacement daddy. You may choose to play with those dynamics sexually speaking, but if you get nothing out of it it’s simply not fair.

Get your emotional balance into balance: Adult relationships with other adults. Not co-dependency with child-adults expecting to extend their childhood.

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