The child’s trust in a narcissistic ex spouse.

A narcissist is a child in an adult body. They are not evil any more than a child is evil when scared or fighting to survive on their own in the big, bad world. It is difficult for an adult in an adult body to understand what they are so afraid of, but one of their coping mechanisms is this child-like trust of an orphan that believes mom and dad will come and get them one day. When they LOVE YOU, they will believe you would never truly abandon them, they would never insult you with that kind of belief about you… No matter how much you swear and curse in their face that you will never be back, you will never see my eyes again… They believe that you, my loved one, would never leave me, you would never abandon me…

And then you do. Even then, they’ll blame themselves like a child: I was worthless, I wasn’t worth caring for… And when it comes to an adult, you’re pretty much in full agreement with that. But… You know.

There has to be a way to help these people without getting mauled over doing it.

One thing we have to recognize about narcissists is this. They are children in adult bodies. They use sex like child prostitutes to eat. Sex, to them, is not natural; it is a means to an end. Therefore, to care for a narcissist, you do not need to marry them or be their partner; you need to be their parent or their teacher, a confidante, a coach, something ANYTHING except an equal friend or a partner.

Redefine your relationship with a narcissist. Ensure care, but free yourself to be sexually and romantically involved with other people.

I will leave you with that thought for now.

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