The danger is that when you act “unlovably” on purpose, all the wrong people will fall in love with you.

Let me tell you a harrowing story about my past. When I was growing up, I always knew I’d move somewhere far, far away from where I was born. I never really liked living where my parents lived, it all felt suffocating and small. Therefore, knowing one day I’d say goodbye to everyone I knew, I didn’t really attempt to bond with anyone, I was quiet a lot, and kept to myself a lot. I had friends, yes, some better than the others. I never wanted to be the centre of attention or loved by them, because one day, I’d leave.

This morning, in a spirit conversation my childhood best friend told me, somewhat as a matter of factly that she at least loved me. My genuine reaction was, “That’s weird.” She explained that she loved how I was quiet, cute, and shy. Insecure. A darling.

For the love of god! I exclaimed. I don’t think I’m any of those things, not by my real personality at least. I’m opinionated, judgmental, critical, and sure, I can be funny, even boisterous if I want to be, but with them… Good heavens, they loved the meek and annoying little shit I put on just to keep everyone from falling in love with me. SURE there were people who made me feel insecure and tentative, too, because they were cool, but for the most part, I just wanted to be left alone, forgotten about, and for the time to fly so I could leave.

If you put on the unlovable version of yourself… The danger is people love you for the very person you most dislike being.

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