The difference between narcissistic abuse and True Mirror anger

This is an add on post to the previous post series will be short. I find it difficult to express the difference between true abuse and acts of dominance in an equal sub/dom relationship, but there is some identification points that I should make clear. Narcissistic abuse comes out of insecurity and weakness, from a person who wishes to be more than what they really are; they beat you to submission and a role you don’t want to adjust to. It is repeated as often as is needed to remind you of who is in charge in this relationship. They make the rules and the victim is trying not to come out of the mold that they are forced into, knowing that any disobedience will result into a new attack.

A True Mirror doesn’t work this way. Their dominance and acts of violent behaviour is always controlled, never about hate but simple in ability to contain their feelings of outpouring affection. It sounds like an impossible equation, but the feelings they feel for their Mirror are so strong that they NEED TO show them to their lover – who has a need to feel them physically, too – in a form of physical beating or violent act of some sort. The “victim” is never a true victim but knows exactly what these beatings mean, and that they are an act of love in a similar way as a male lion bites their mate during intercourse, same thing. It is an act of dominance but not an act of violence for the sake of hurting the female. (Or male in some cases.) If you ask a True Mirror “victim” whether or not they are sexually aroused by this behaviour, if they are honest, they say they are. A victim of narcissistic abuse never is.

The simplest way to make a difference here is to simply ask yourself or the suspected abuse victim whether they enjoy these moments (on any level) because even if they DO enjoy it, many feel so ashamed for it (due to the reasons described in previous posts) that they may easily lie about it or be evasive in their answer. You have to read between the lines here. Often however, the victims of narcissistic abuse are so well beaten to submission that they would not even dare to discus these matters with an outsider, knowing that it would result into a beating.

Good example of a narcissistic abuser is Joffrey Baratheon the “child king” of Game of Thrones:

Narcissistic abuse is never just about physical violence, it’s also continuous emotional abuse.

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