The difference of letting go and giving up on someone

There is an incredible resistance within us when we need to let go. This is because we associate it with giving up on someone. We fight the urge of protecting ourselves when the relationship we have is mainly kicking us in the gut rather than nurturing us and thus keep holding on to prove our love for them. A good friend or a family member or a lover is not supposed to abandon their loved ones, but at the same time we all need our freedom. Too much protection forces us into a weakened state, and too much ownership suffocates the love that our escape artist feels for us.

So how do we find the balance and make it okay in our minds to let them be?

You have to first understand that letting go of someone, and allowing them to live their own lives and make their own mistakes is not the same as giving up on them. Giving up means: “I don’t think you’ll ever amount to anything and I’m done!” letting go means: “I trust you to know what you want in your life, and I trust you to come to me if you stumble on your way and find that you need me. You know where I’ll be and I love you.” Letting go is an act of love and trust. Letting go also means you trust yourself to be capable of life without them, and the inability let go might be a result of not wanting to face a future where the other person isn’t present – but what if they don’t want to be in your life? What if you are really suffocating them and hurting them? That is not an act of love to keep hanging onto a person that you are dragging down with you, is it?

Letting go means that you love this person more from then on, not less, giving up on someone means they disappointed you beyond your wildest dreams; you always thought they were much better, and when the reality dawned on you, that’s when you give up on them – quite easily, too. Letting go is much harder, as it takes trust and love, belief that they are capable of deciding on their own life’s choices. Letting go is the only way you can have that love in your life, because what you release will come back to you if they were yours to keep in the first place – but they will struggle for freedom and keep running for as long as you are waiting for them with a noose and a chained ball.

And remember; you never make someone yours by forcing them to stay with you… and no matter how much you love them, someone else might love them more. Someone who is better for them. You must allow them to go to that person, if you truly love them.

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