The fact you’re looking for an excuse to end your relationship is a reason enough.

The fact you’re looking for an excuse to do something is always a good reason to actually do it, but when it comes to voluntary relationships that should make your life feel better to you, too, it is. A relationship is supposed to be symbiotic. You should get what you need to feel better in some way, and if you’re looking for a way out, you’re looking to feel better. If out of a relationship is better, then the requirement of a genuine symbiosis is not met.

If you fear that your partner might actually manage to make you happy if you let them, is another sign you’re in the wrong relationship. This applies to friendships, jobs, and romantic relationships for certain. When it comes to family, things are more complicated.

Still, what you’re looking for an excuse to do is always a sign of what you truly want to do. If you’re looking for a reason to do it, you’re trying to talk yourself into something you don’t want to do.

If you want out of a romantic relationship or a marriage, the fact you’re looking for an excuse, something that will excuse your decision, and grant you forgiveness for causing disappointment or emotional upset is a sign you should leave. If you’re in it because you feel the need to be seen as a good person… You’re using your relationship like a narcissist uses a Louis Vuitton bag.

What you need is a face-saving lie for your partner, spouse, and/or family. This means you need to find a way to make it look good for them, if you’re concerned about their feelings, that is. If you’re only concerned about how you will be perceived, how about you aim for truth, honesty, and authenticity, the only values you should really concern yourself with.

And don’t worry. We’re all deep down good people. Good enough at least. You don’t need to be perfect, just be good enough and take care of your children.

Subscribe to get a Daily Message