The Heartless Tough Guy oozing love vs. The Good Guy oozing nothing

Have you ever come across “a bad boy” or “a tough guy” (or a woman) who would insist that they have no heart, yet you sense them being the warmest, most loving person you’ve ever met in your life? They are rare, I must admit, in my life I’ve only met two men of this kind, and I don’t think I’ve met one woman of the same type. However, they are an interesting to me because they draw a dark contrast to their opposite… as they would:

When someone is completely unaware of their own emotions, they ooooooze it out into their surroundings. They can’t feel it, therefore, they can’t control it. It doesn’t mean it is not there, it’s simply that they are completely unaware of their own emotions. They say they are “not interested” or “not in love” or that “they have no heart” but YOU can feel the love radiating from them easier than what you feel your own emotions. This is someone who is completely unable to feel their own emotions at this stage; their sensory system simply doesn’t pick it up. I don’t think this is an impairment of any kind, but simply something that they have not made the effort to become aware of at this stage, or have somehow numbed themselves to. The other explanation to these guy’s existence is that they don’t KNOW how to control their emotional output, even if they were aware of it, and therefore, it flows out of them without a barrier, all the while as they think “acting cool” would be in their best interest, so they think nobody can sense the mass of hot emotion oozing out of them. Needless to say, these guys are not exactly volunteering verbal information, pretending to be all cool, so I can’t ask…

On the other end of the spectrum, you get highly self-aware, evolved men, “good guys”, who are completely and utterly aware of their own emotional space, and are completely convinced that everything that they feel is easy for others to pick up on because that is true for themselves. Terrified of being caught for feeling what they feel – because sometimes it is downright rude to feel utter love or lust toward someone else in the room – they control it all and prevent others from accessing it; by an instinct.

This kind of men have lived lifetimes upon lifetimes in spiritual practise, priests and monks, training themselves to control their emotions. There you have it. That path leads to nothing but others being convinced that you feel nothing for nobody and  you are worth nothing to nobody as a result. Clearly, both accounts are also possible for women.

There is also another type of a man who is in complete and utter control of their own emotions, the warrior type. A soldier who can’t control their emotions and fears is a danger not only to themselves but others, and therefore, controlling the expression of emotion is important; showing fear will spread it into others and that, again, is a danger to everyone involved. Clearly, not all former warriors are currently serving the army, in fact, there seems to be a tendency that a certain type (still often long haired as they were in the times of Vikings) lost their interest in war upon the introduction of fire-arms, that essentially took the fun out of killing – you could no longer engage with the enemy eye-to-eye, but had to kill them from a distance, making war a cold and a heartless affair, rather than the fiery and passionate one it used to be.

The good news is that a self-aware person can learn to drop the shields when they need to and get the best of both worlds; when you need people to ignore you or think that you are a cold-hearted meanie, you put up the shields as required; when you want someone to feel your love, you allow them to feel it; all it takes is a bit of practise, and if people having trained themselves to control their own emotions are good at something, this would be exactly it.

Sometimes the problem that the good guy -type faces is that people sense their coldness and they think they are incapable of loving anyone, and the reaction they get is to break through those barriers to “teach them how to love”. They see this type of a good guy “impaired” or “damaged” and “being sick with strength”, and they want to break them into tears so that they would see confirmation that this person actually has emotions. The bad thing is, that they are soft to the core on the inside, and the more others attack them, the thicker they build their walls to protect themselves.

Then becomes the trick of reading someone else’s emotions behind the shield…. The Elder Souls* are pretty good at it, but not perfect; especially if they doubt their own ability to do it.

Simply observe.

And feel.

People are so cool.

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