The Law of The Truest Wish; how our needs meet

The Law of The Truest Wish, which is a concept I’ve added to the Law of Attraction to complete it, is the law that always follows your innermost needs. It organizes our Universe and our relationships according to the inner coding of each one of us so that we are always perfectly aligned to get what we need and what the Universe needs of us. It is not fate as much as what each of us WANTS but at the same time, the perfect amount of salt comes in the way the Universe organizes things… Enough grit to feel like we don’t get everything THE WAY WE WANT IT… Just the way we want it. The road to what we want is often shite, just so that the goal itself wouldn’t have to be tainted.

I’ll use myself as an example again, as this is a complicated maze of things that I wouldn’t have the attention span to study in anyone else’s case except around my own navel:

I am currently on social security. My miss guides, as I call them, have locked my finances so that I wouldn’t “run from my happiness” as they feel what would make me happy is a renewed relationship with my ex-husband who I am still living with. They feel that if one of us would make too much money, we would separate, and miss our chance of true happiness.

They also feel that in my previous incarnations, I’ve been too financially independent, which makes me “haughty” and difficult to approach. They feel I’ve given too much to people, while I never allow them to be the strong ones and for them to take care of me. They want me to humble so that they could get closer to me.

I, on the other hand, have always secretly hated them. I’ve done my duty towards them, given them money, but with the assumption, they know that I do this out of duty and because I don’t want the people who matter to me to think I’m a horrible human being. Therefore, they get everything they need so that I can seem like a decent human being in the eyes of the people who matter.

What I didn’t realize is that they actually think that my generosity is PERSONAL, an act of love TOWARD THEM, rather than given out of duty and to make sure nobody thinks I’m a cold, heartless bitch. I needed to figure this out, in order to move on to the next phase in my life without too much baggage.

My husbands (in waiting) prefer me penniless because they like the idea of taking care of me – up to a point, at least some of them. They like the idea of pampering me with expensive gifts, but they’ve needed to understand that I really really really don’t respond to expensive gifts the way they have gotten used to other women responding. What I want, is simple tokens of love, even married to millionaires, what my heart would jump for is a bit of tin foil from a cigarette box folded into a shape of a flower… Because that comes in the moment, but ANYONE with a whole wad ton of money can go to Tiffany’s and buy a diamond necklace for their wives… How fucking original, hey? Something ANYONE can do, with or without actual feelings attached – when you have enough money to piss away a few thousand dollars without it meaning much. The more money a man has, the less expensive gifts mean.

I, on the other hand, want/need to be broke so I don’t saturate the world with my teachings too early on so that I will be forced to FINISH MY THEORIES before I repeat a mistake me and my soulmates made in a previous life time creating a world religion that has destroyed more lives it has saved. (Perhaps not that bad.) Saving all the wrong people, and enslaving those who matter… The need to heal the world is MASSIVE in us, but we have been too careless. We’ve been too naively ideological expecting people to have the same need to do good as we do, and relying on that nobody will misinterpret what we say to further their own selfish goals. Kinda obvious when you say it, but not to us. We think differently, and as everyone always thinks other people’s motivations are more or less the same as those of their own, we also thought people, generally speaking, do good because they want everyone to be happy just like we do.

So. I needed my work to stay hidden until it’s done. I get so excited about new stuff so easily that I will release stuff too early and then shit hits the fan. Being broke solves that problem… Almost, although the Internet is dangerous (near) free publishing machine. (The stuff is getting so good now, that I write this onto a blog but won’t publish until it’s safe to do so.)

I also needed time to sort out my personal relationships before moving on, some of those relationships being dangerous from a global peace level, and all of them harmful to me on a personal level. Letting the wrong people too close has been a major factor in how our theories have been received in previous lifetimes, as the closest to me want to simplify the writings and make them a bit more “palatable” to the masses, which essentially strips away all the good stuff and leaves out the worst parts out of context. THIS was something I had to understand and prevent from happening again. I had to learn the way other people view your friends as spokespersons of who you are and “what you would have wanted”, so the public needs to know who I trust and who I don’t trust – and the emotional certainty these people feel that they have THE RIGHT to function as the executioners of my will and the establishers of whatever church-like organization I will leave behind.

I wanted to heal the world, understand everything, and make sure everyone is safe and free. This need runs so freaking deep in me it is ingrained in the way I think, and although I HATE it like venom that I am broke and living off on public funds, I see it as the lesser of a few other options I could have considered. It gives me all the time I need to focus solely on writing my theories and eliminates the feelings of obligation to a named/known/singular benefactor.

Which might be the reason my husband is still broke, too, and hits a string of bad luck every time he’s starting to get ahead with his business. If he was the one financially providing me with something (currently we’re splitting the costs somewhat evenly, even though I still owe him something) I would feel TOO GREAT sense of gratitude toward him to be objective towards him and our relationship when things move forward. He, on the other hand, has wanted an opportunity to show me how reliable and dependable he is, and how much he cares for me and how much he measures towards the other men who I love. He has got that chance, and as much as I appreciate him, he is STILL not what I LOVE and WANT.

Me and my soul tribe are separated across the planet, many in highly visible positions, rich and famous and worshipped, but also isolated in some sense. They’re each going through their own struggles, from making terrible choices for friends, following all the wrong philosophies, facing the fears of old age, sorting out drug dependencies, getting married to the wrong women, creating families as a form of an emotional crutch as they feel their lives are otherwise too empty… Struggling against their own ambitions versus their own ideas, and that sort of thing. I observe, but can’t do diddly squat to help.

One of my personal goals is to never point a finger at who is no to blame. I’ve had only one exception to this rule; myself. I’ve always been willing to blame myself on matters that are not my fault. It is the racial feature of all white people, but white men in particular. That’s why we cop so much crap as a race, and why we are so capable. We are willing to take responsibility and take the blame for everything that is wrong in this world. That is why we have so much power, too, but we need to stop blaming ourselves on things that aren’t our fault and demand other people, white women in particular, to take some of their load.

Speaking of the reasons why I call white women as “they” even though I am one myself, I had to come to the terms with the fact I want nothing to do with other women. I do not want to graciously allow my lovers to marry women surrounding me just because some arbitrary cultural rule says I can only marry one man at a time. I do not want to be politely tolerating other women on my turf, flaunting their stuff in MY BALLROOMS, (there’s a pun in there, lol), fluttering their eyelids AT MY MEN. I am ALPHA, I AM THE ALPHA, and those bitches are not allowed on my turf.

I had to come to the realization that we are STILL ANIMALS. We are STILL animals, no matter how much we want to polish that fact, and my animal instinct is to eliminate my competition and threats to my rightful throne. I thought this instinct was purely selfish so I fought against it. I didn’t want my men to suffer from my need to hog men to myself like a fat kid at a candy store. What I didn’t realize was that they suffered for being forced to marry women they didn’t really love. They were forced to settle for the second best or the third best or the freaking 15th best, simply due to the demands of monogamy, and they learned to lower their standards and their expectations of other women to freaking 0, making me look like the unattainable dream girl “no man would never be rich enough for”, as one of them phrased it… (He completely missed the point there, but I see how he would have come to that conclusion.)

I had to realize I was polyandrous by nature, and that I could hog as many men as I could possibly handle at one go, and I am so totally committed to fill my house with every man I cannot get enough of. However, what I still struggle with is that when is too many too many, because at the moment I have my favorites, but I also see (forgive me for the word it seems dismissive but it’s not how I mean it:) potential in. I see that there are some men who have everything I need from them, possibly, but with whom we haven’t yet, probably, had the chance of merging together fully yet. So I don’t know how to handle a situation I’ve never been in, and at what stage does my need to take in every stray off the street will start to cost happiness to the men on the top rung as I’ll have less and less time, maybe, for them. I don’t know.

I had to come to the realization that the fact that I have 0 time for my girlfriends as soon as there’s a guy in sight is not an error in my coding but more to the point the very thing that makes me able to be what I am and want to be. I am everything to my men, in the sense that everything I am is for my men, and every woman I’ve ever known is somewhat of a distraction from it, not a positive distraction but just a distraction. I will still, probably, have to come to terms with the fact I shouldn’t have female friends, at all, but I should be friends with their boyfriends, maybe, and they will choose who they love for themselves. The women in the sea of men simply float wherever the tide takes them, and we, us girl, should not hold onto each other at all. Is it possible the tide brings some of us together? Who knows, perhaps. Should we be like ships who avoid colliding on the sea of men, or should we be like driftwood, collecting into tidal waves if that’s what the sea wants? Ships or drift wood, there’s the next question. I think ships. 😀

Cutting the long story short, there’s plenty of things I had to contemplate if I wanted to achieve my souls need: “To understand everything”. Now, a new need has emerged: To HAVE EVERYTHING. Everything that matters to me, of course, eliminating everything that takes away from everything rather than adds to it.

That brings me to another need of another soulmate (in the stuck together karmic bond kinda way). She was jealous of all the attention men gave me, and she wanted me not to have a husband easy. She felt I always got everything so easy, but she wanted to put a ripple into that energy. By doing so, she forced my men away from me, which, in turn forced me to start thinking about the reasons why my life sucked so much, which, in turn forced me to start unraveling the shit build up in my life rising my ambitions from 0 to million, really. So, I sneered at her: “Okay, you didn’t want me to have some things easy, so I’m going to have EVERYTHING the hard way.”

Contradictionally – people are rarely without contradictions and conflicting wishes – the women also wanted to give me everything that I ever wanted. They are submissive to me and my servants, whether they like it or not, but they do want to top me, they TRY to top me, but they will come to heel once this is all said and done. So, as they wanted me to have everything I wanted, perhaps out of pitty at the time, they didn’t realize what that meant was that I would have EVERYTHING I ever wanted, one of those things being to see the back of the lot of them.

As these women also have a need and wish to make friends with a powerful woman, but since they cannot find that in me because to me the only good woman is one that I don’t know exists, by forcing them out of my spirit circle, they will have the OPPORTUNITY to find a woman who is better aligned with their dreams than I am. Possibly closer than what they think, in the form of the woman who I think is the reincarnation of Helen of Troy, a woman I know. (I don’t know why I just have a feeling that’s her. Comes from the same batch of women as Madonna and Marilyn Monroe, Lady Gaga would be a logical continuance, but she’s from another batch.) Helen of Troy, obviously, is another alpha female, but what is different between us is that she’s much more tolerant to other women, and will allow other women near her, as long as they’re at her feet where they belong. (I have to mention, just for the sake of future consistency regardless of my current emotional state writing this, that I do have respect for other Alphas, but as Alphas, they don’t belong into my own tribe.)

I had to truly see the “dance” of reincarnations, how we evolve logically, not by random or by chance, through one lifetime to the next. How what we have carelessly said in a past life to a lover will haunt them to this lifetime, and how we hurt the ones we love when we are not able to understand how much they love us – often the ONE THING WE MISS is how much we matter to other people. THAT is the biggest lesson, but even that shouldn’t obligate you to stay, it should obligate you to be HONEST. You do not want to make yourself important to people who are not important to you, because you will eventually have to break their hearts.

ONE sentence can change the course of a relationship. Something I said 2000 years ago to a woman facing stoning was taken the wrong way – she has an uncanny ability to reverse everything to the opposite of what I mean – and she has tried to prove to me from then on that I am not better than her, when what I said to her meant exactly that… I am no better than you. Instead, she took it as “you are not worthy of redemption that would get you to Heaven”, rather than “you do not deserve to die for this, the true God is forgiving”. Incredible, isn’t it? She has, ever since, haunted me trying to catch me of hypocrisy or a lie… And caught me, too, but not of the ones she expected to. One of them being the lie that she fucking matters to me on a personal level. Right now,  she says she’s been angry at me because I am again trying to deny her the place in Heaven… as if I had such a power, and more to the point, my idea of the perfect hangout is preeetty much a Hell on Earth as far as a lot of people would see it. Freaking Valhalla.

Speaking of different hells, heavens, and gods, a lot of god’s exist in the attempt of making sex more exciting. To create the forbidden fruit. They allow absolute filth happening right under the protection of their own Churches, just to urge us to act on our desires. Link to once published¹ Many gods are the temptation combined with the punishment, which means they are trying to bottle your emotions, feelings, and desires up, only so you could indulge in them when the self-control becomes too much. They COUNT ON you being too human to stop yourself. Unfortunately, some of us are not too human for it, nor do we necessarily get off on breaking the rules.

1. the pedophile thread ↩

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