The purpose of communication is to make things better, not to find the person to blame.

There are people who communicate in order to find the scape goat. The person to blame. The real reason for communication is to find out what was and was not intended to be said, and how everyone feels in any given situation. It is NOT EASY to know what people feel and see from their perspective, and it is unrealistic to expect them to. That’s why we all have to help each other understand what is going on with us, even without an invitation or demand to do so.

This, however, can feel threatening to someone who is used to, or fears all communication to lead to finding a new outcast, and that this outcast will be them. However, the discovery of the outcast is much more likely to result from the lack of communication and definitely as a result of INCOMPLETE communication.

You should ALWAYS ASSUME that nobody meant anything mean by anything they said or did, UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE. When someone asks for you to explain your meaning, help them understand what you meant. The danger of not communicating is that when you stop people from defending their honor after being misinterpreted, you’ll find they don’t want to live with someone who is constantly unfairly judging them in their presence. When that person refuses to communicate and gives them the benefit of the doubt, they will choose people who do.

You should always assume that you can find mutual ground through communication, but that becomes impossible when even just one party refuses to listen and believe the other person might be sincere, or one person feels so offended by being misinterpreted by another, even a practical stranger, that they don’t accept any apologies or explanations whatsoever. That makes communication impossible, and therefore, solutions cannot be found, reconciliations cannot be reached. The relationship will inevitably break.

Subscribe to get a Daily Message