The way the Savants* and the Normal Person* define who they are, and why the Savants* is better.

While I won’t tell you NOT TO define yourself in the Normal Person* way, I’m going to say that the Savants* way of doing this is better. The Normal Person* wants to be defined by someone else, right? They want someone they admire to make them into an image of themselves like god did. They first fight out which one should be in charge of character traits, and sometimes they do group work on it. But if they change friends, they’ll have to start all over again. Every lifetime, they get new influences, and they keep going in circles, never truly growing up.

the Normal Person* are opportunistic: They meet a new person, and they try to become the person that the new person likes; if you are one of those people who have a dating profile full of traits that you like about people, to stop others from wasting your time, it’s like “cat nip” for the Normal Person*: “oh, look, all I need to do is to fit this mold…” But they NEVER fit it perfectly, because NOBODY changes to someone else’s wishes perfectly. The Savants* thinkers think further ahead. They KNOW nobody changes to another person’s needs completely; therefore, they’re looking for people who ALREADY ARE what they are looking for. They know what type of people they like and want to please, and they try to meet people looking for people of that description. They are more reliable in who and what they are and want to be with.

the Savants* thinkers have idols. They also have collections of very predictable character traits that they consider likable and admirable. They do their best, and they usually do it very well, to live up to those ideals and standards: People like others with a sense of humor. People like reliable, trustworthy people who won’t stab them in the back even after the friendship runs its course. They like calm people who keep things stable and nice around them. They like people who can be relied upon even when they are not being closely monitored or pushed around. These, and more of similar ones, are liked by EVERYBODY, even the Normal Person* thinkers. Still, the Normal Person* feel like they can’t trust them because they, themselves, cannot be trusted to uphold these ideals when nobody is enforcing these principles in them or when it doesn’t directly benefit them. Once the Savants* find out about the Normal Person*, they become former friends or former lovers, and that’s it.

The right way to choose one’s character traits is to find the ones you admire in others and then become that person. Sure, the Normal Person* may well admire ruthlessness, which is their weakness, but at least they’ll find themselves in relationships with their own kind, and that’s fine by me. As far as the Savants* go: accept this: you cannot change everybody in this world; therefore, become wiser, smarter, and more aware of the motivations of the Normal Person* thinkers who haven’t figured this out yet. Stop thinking of people in the manner that “who would do that…” based on the fact YOU wouldn’t do that – it’s not a reliable measurement. But there is a silver lining to that: Most people do things in order to feel safe or loved. The Normal Person* motivation is to feel safe, and a Savants*’s motivation is to be loved – and happy. If the Normal Person* is scared enough, they’ll sacrifice both happiness and love for safety – you should know that.

the Normal Person* are just as afraid of being fake as the Savants* are, which is fair enough. The trouble is that the Normal Person* tend to feel ALL GOOD THINGS about them are fake, and all the bad stuff is real. Therefore, they tend to flaunt their bad traits to everybody all the time and feel ashamed of any good motivation they might ever have. This is weird. Sure, we’re not nice ALL THE TIME to ALL PEOPLE; that’s why we have to figure out which people make it very easy for us to be nice and reliable to and for them all the time. The Savants* must stop being nice all the time because the Normal Person* are right about one thing: nice is often superficial and fake. OFTEN, but not always, not systematically. The Normal Person* should know that the Savants* are nice enough to people just to make things run smoothly, but that doesn’t mean they consider you a friend – and if you piss them off enough for them to start shouting at you, they DEFINITELY do not consider you a friend – they value the good stuff about people, they are not at all impressed by people who define themselves by their worst traits.

the Savants* have a little bit of that in them, though. If they have “a bad trait” that they truly enjoy and want to keep as their own trait, such as a sexual fetish of some type, a bad habit, drinking, or drugs, they may make it clear to a new person that this trait is what they’ll live with. Unfortunately, the Normal Person* may interpret this as “This trait is what you must fix in me,” which is not at all what they meant and will drive the Normal Person* to the walls: “You knew what you got yourself into; why are you complaining about it now?! I was honest from the very beginning!” Therefore, a Savants* might want to ask a person they suspect is the Normal Person* thinker: “Could you change that about me?” If they eagerly volunteer, get up and say: “That’s the wrong answer. I wanted you to say: ‘Why would you want to change that about yourself?!'”

Both Cat and the Normal Person* share this way of thinking: “I don’t trust your love until you know the worst of me.” However, there’s a lot of things about the Normal Person* that they are willing to let go of if you love them DESPITE their bad traits. Then, they’ll agree to change for a person who loves them despite their bad traits. An Savant* wants to be loved BECAUSE of their carefully chosen “bad” traits. They have no intention of changing for anybody. They may, if they’re not much in love, but figure the person deserves their respect nonetheless, hide some of their sharpest edges, but not truly change – or if they fall in love enough, they will adapt in some ways, but that’s a very rare type of a relationship for them and must be a True Emotion Mirror.

Therefore, here’s the trick: List traits that are important to you; what you will not change about yourself for anybody. This is your authentic core. The longer the list, the better you know what and who you need and love. The more the Savants* you are, the longer this list is going to be. These are the things you must COLLECT like rare coins; things you would never change about yourself for ANYBODY, not the person you love the most in this world, not for your children, not for your spouse. Not even for God – you’d choose to worship another god, if this is what they demanded of you. What are things you would change religions for if you were born in a different religion, maybe. (Don’t get too cocky, tho, because the Universe will give you a chance to prove yourself. Be honest.)

The reason why the Savants* way of defining who you are is a better one is that it gives them stability and self-confidence that the Normal Person* are lacking. Trying to please the people immediately around you is not going to go well, it makes a slave out of you, or it forces you into dominance, sometimes routhless dominance, while the Savants* are able to walk away from a bad relationship and save their sanity and sense of self-worth doing so.

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