This world is build on demands of the narcissist.

Once we all stop serving the needs of narcissists in this world, we’ll find ourselves a lot freer.

A narcissist wants to uphold a false ego; a flattering view of themselves that they show to themselves much more importantly than other people.

Stop providing a narcissistic supply

While everybody likes to like themselves, a non-narcissist wants to like themselves for who they truly are rather than who they can pretend to themselves to be. White lies and politeness are largely only there to protect people’s false egos. Even if some of us are AWARE that a good portion of niceties are, to a large degree, false, not all of us are quite aware of that. I would personally start coaching myself (and I am personally trying to coach myself) to allow people a polite, kind hint or two and a chance to back off the usual way, but if they don’t get the hint, use more effective methods.

Never again become the tool that a narcissist may use in creating a false ego. That is, in fact, the kindest thing you can do to a person by far. They won’t see it at first, but it will be good for them down the line.

Perfectly flawless or “just like everyone else”

A narcissist doesn’t want to be seen for who they are. A high-functioning narcissist believes they are authentically perfectly flawless and get a narcissistic shock when someone suggests, even in a non-aggressive manner, that they are not perfect. If they SEE the point, they may go into a sudden emotional lockdown, unable to get past the new view of themselves that they cannot accept to be a realistically possible perspective on them. They also want to believe that EVERYONE in this world agrees they’re DOING ENVIABLY GREAT in every aspect of life.

A low- and median-functioning narcissist wants to imagine they are as good as “everybody else.” They also hate the idea that there would be “special people” like celebrities around. They may believe celebrities are akin to freaks in a freak show or that celebrities are just like everyone else but just happen to be an example of normalcy in the public eye. Most celebrities like to lull them into that idea too; “I was just lucky. I was just incredibly lucky to be in the right place at the right time.” While celebrity takes a good chunk of luck, yes, that statement is only about 1% true in most cases.

Often, a narcissistic self-satisfaction doesn’t really last a closer inspection. It maybe built on a very average level of achievement, and self-pride can rise from the dumbest things. At the same time, another person can perform at a much, much higher level and think absolutely nothing of it. A realistic self-image, not overly positive or overly negative, is an asset.

Identity politics have a direct link with narcissism.

Political correctness is a direct tool for upholding that false perception of self. Identity politics, the practice of allowing people a completely unrealistic idea of self, is a direct response to the outcry of narcissists who don’t want to see themselves for who they truly are. Up until now, this imagination has been limited to believing oneself to be funny and witty and smart and well-liked, maybe beautiful or handsome even if that wasn’t quite true, but now, we allow people to lull themselves to a belief that men can be women and women can be men – even when they look nothing like it. (I have no issues with trans-people who fully accept themselves as being TRANSwomen and TRANSmen, rather than “real” women and men because they say so.)

While identity politics are based on very non-narcissistic idea of a person’s true identity and societal role, in the hands of a narcissist it simply fuels their madness.

The most mundane of narcissistic demands and beliefs.

• inclusion of everybody
• requirement to repay love with equal love (lest be a bad guy; love me for loving you)
• pretence of love: seeing a romance and family life as a type of a play put on for other people to admire.
• belief that you can turn any person into anything you want them to be and that they should agree to this transformation when “a receiver” has been found: “I’ll love you once you transform.” (Trans ppl, True Emotion Mirror etc.)
• that “teaching how to love them” is a favor to the person assigned to the duty of being their lover, and also, possible. Seeing “love” as a set of behaviours rather than a feeling especially in the other party rather than themselves.
• pretence of equality: seeing it to be the wrong thing to deny something based on lesser skill or talent or ability etc.
• pretence of competence: dressing to look as if one is intelligent and successful and BELIEVING it is actually all it takes. (Worn self-confidence, akin to a child wearing a superman costume.)
• wishing to over-simplify people and their needs to make them easier to manage and please: “This is how much any given person is allowed to want and need.”
• overlooking other’s flaws and pretending they’re not there.
• ignoring even obvious signs of incompatibility in relationships (massive IQ difference, different health goals, different aesthetic preferences, different income levels.)
• taking pity and compassion instead of love to be a fuel for a romantic relationship like it never should be.
• confusing fearful possessiveness for love and romanticism.
• idea you can own a person (husband/wife/child)
• idea that leaving a relationship is the wrong thing to do, when the relationship fails to make one party happy.
• idea that only one person’s happiness in a relationship is enough.
• idea that one gender is automatically in charge, or that gender equality means “now women are entitled to abuse men, too.”
• seeing people as servants and royals, that one half serves the needs of the other. (Regardless of which party the narcissist believes they belong in.)
• believing that differences between people are roles we all play; that we are all simply actors, all the same, but cast into a different role in life. Some lucky, some unlucky.
• Lastly, laws had to be written down so that the narcissist wouldn’t be able to pretend they had no idea doing X was “forbidden.” They don’t react to the “wrong thing” only what is forbidden and what is allowed.

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