To chase or not to chase a True Emotion Mirror

The hardest part about True Emotion Mirror relationships is to allow yourself to be yourself and follow your instinct instead of instructions from others. This is the most important relationship you have experienced, and you don’t want to fuck it up being overly enthusiastic,  right?

I am not sure you have to chase your True Emotion Mirror, tho. This is where playing any game is usually a negative thing rather than helps you in any way. If you have to chase, I wonder if it is a True Emotion Mirror at all, but just some average run-of-the-mill crush that you have rejection junkie syndrome on. I don’t think your True Emotion Mirror runs very far, depending on what you consider “chasing.” You might want to make sure, however, that he or she knows you’re even interested.

You may fear putting them off you forever if you chase too hard… But I don’t think you can do that with a True Emotion Mirror, either. I don’t think you have to chase them far, and I don’t think you can turn them off you if you do. Not chasing may be more dangerous than chasing; if you’re so coy, they don’t even know you’re serious about them.

Instinct, however.

The thing is, the way you are is the way you should be. Our polygamous leanings dictate which way we are about chasing, but our interactions with the not-so-perfectly-right people have conditioned us all to fake things a bit… a lot, sometimes. And with a True Emotion Mirror, faking things is always a bad idea. Whether you want to chase or not, whether you feel like you should flash a green light or not… it’s all your instinct.

As a general rule: polyandrist women don’t chase, but they love being chased. Polyandrist men love the chase, but hate/are put off by being chased. Polyandrist men have to feel excited to chase sometimes, even though they also love it easy; “She won’t slap my fingers…”

Polygynous men don’t chase; they are chased. Polygynous women love chasing but are put off by overly eager men.

If you feel different, just be honest about it and follow your wishes, feelings, gut… and ignore this. I know sometimes the chase hits even a polyandrist woman and polygynist man, especially when they haven’t figured out their allure yet… but it makes sense, doesn’t it, that the “hinge” stays put as the doors revolve around it… hmm. My analogy fails badly but you know? Always toward the center, the center can’t run around chasing dozens of men or women and be… respected. Their significant others however, can go to almost any (legal) length to get there.

Chase if you want, I say. Don’t if you feel it’s beneath you to do so – and yes, polyandrists and polygynists are full of contradictions. What is respectable for the center is the opposite to their… army of lovers.

No games doesn’t mean not to be playful.

I urge honesty and straightforwardness with your True Emotion Mirror. That is not to say you have to be totally serious-minded and boring about it. You can play “games,” but make sure they know you are inviting them to join you in that game. Be playful, be fun, sure, but don’t “game them” so they don’t know you actually want them. Be flirtatious, sure, but don’t be hurting their feelings and making them think like you don’t want them or love them with a True Emotion Mirror that’s just too risky. If you make them believe you don’t want them, they might… Believe it and leave for good.

Make sure they’re having fun, too, and “play” all you want, but make sure they understand the rules of the game somehow, by empathically observing their reactions and altering your approach if it seems like they’re not following you. (And yes, it’s possible for True Emotion Mirrors to not understand each other’s game. One reason for it being a different family background, if one has a childhood trauma, was bullied or similar, I guarantee you their self-confidence is not at the level you need it to be for any romantic games you might want to play.)

Non-TrEmoRs (everyone else)

Chasing usually works when it comes to a non-True Emotion Mirror. If you keep chasing, most people find it so flattering or so pathetic that they are likely to give you a chance. However, that is in no way a guarantee of a happy or lasting relationship. If you had to chase them down the aisle, there is a chance you have to chase them for the rest of the relationship, too – if you caught the wrong person.

As a general rule in relationships, I vote for not chasing but meeting people halfway. This is the safest bet in avoiding narcissistic ignition of interest. Definitely don’t fake anything. If you have to choose “a strategy,” do what you feel is natural for you.

Subscribe to get a Daily Message