To get true love you have to learn how to be charming.

There are people who confuse unconditional love with true love. Unconditional love, however, is reserved for infant babies. Children over 6 years old are learning fast how to be charming – how to be nice and fun to be with. A baby is given unconditional love because that’s the key to their survival. Adults, however, are going to be left to their own vices unless they learn to be a positive factor in other people’s lives.

There is also a way to find your previous true love, as in your ultimate soulmate, your True Emotion Mirror as I call them, by acting like a prick toward everyone and seeing who sticks around – but that requires you have learned charm before. Those people know how to make people love them. The people who this works for KNOW they’re being dicks or bitches, and they do it quite knowingly. They can stop at any time but choose not to because otherwise, they know how irresistible they are to EVERYONE… And how everyone tries to tie them into relationships, they don’t necessarily want to be in. Therefore, their strategy is to be an absolute cunt until the false loves vanish out of their lives.

What is charm?

Charm is a series of behaviors and attitudes that others like to be around. It starts with the way you present yourself; your fitness level, your dress, and your looks. Depending on who you want to charm, you’ll tone things up or down.

The way you look gives the first impression: Are you being respectful? Do you wish to look desirable, likable, or approachable, or do you choose an outfit that displays disrespect and disregard for other’s opinions? Do you choose to look nice and approachable, or has your outfit been chosen to literally pick a fight and to show disrespect toward other people? It can also show alliance to a group of people, thus functioning as a rejection and come-on in itself. Maybe, you choose to look pathetic and pitiful just to incite pity and concern for your well-being… Because you want to be taken care of by someone showing you that unconditional love.

Next comes making others feel good about being near you. There are people who are VERY GOOD at this. First of all; the way they look makes them an authority in opinion. The better a person looks, the more others want them to like them. Therefore, whatever these people say means MORE to others than what anybody else thinks. Therefore, their positive words uplift, but to be fair, their bite doesn’t, as others may view them as being narcissistic and selfish – which is not a correct interpretation; good looks most likely speak of respect for other people, not the opposite.

A charming person will use their status and influence to make others feel good about themselves – a narcissistic person, or a person who has lost their love and respect for you, does the opposite.

What is being pathetic?

The opposite of being charming is being pathetic. These people’s strategy is not to make others feel good about themselves but to force others to make them feel good about their pathetic lives. They do this by attacking other’s morals and attitudes, critiquing them by calling them some type of phobic or discriminating against whatever they represent, and forcing a charming person to try and prove them wrong. (They shouldn’t bother but do all the time.)

A pathetic person will do everything opposite to the charming person; they look horrible, like a disaster zone on purpose, and focus on making others around them feel like crap, demanding rights and love that charming people get “for free” without actually doing anything that charming people do in order to get that love. They diminish and devalue other’s efforts, where charming people do the opposite.

Who is the charm intended for?

People who are charming may not be that FOR YOU. They cannot, all of the sudden, put on 50 kilos and look like shit just because an undesirable person is in their presence JUST NOW. That’s when a charming person needs to REJECT not so charming ones. To do this, they have to employ a level of charm, as not to lose points with potential charming onlookers or people who the pathetic person will talk to later. This is when a person may employ manipulative charm: They need to get rid of you without offending you, and giving others the right to call them “a bitch” or “a dick” or similar. This may be interpreted the opposite way around, however; to make the rejected person like them, even though they’re going to ditch them.

People they didn’t choose.

Charming people, just like everyone else, must interact with people they didn’t choose. Everyone at work, school, and many social circumstances, including their family. When a charming person needs to interact with people they are not genuinely interested in, they are always managing their charm. They’re not going to make permanent changes to their look or the way they’re seen in general, just to NOT make a random person or a co-worker in their life to fall in love with them.

However, they often underestimate how much their niceness means to someone who feels utterly unloved and pathetic. Therefore, they may have only used the lowest level of charm they feel justified to use on ANYONE AT ALL, but someone who can’t see it as “just being nice” may see it as a personal favor and attention given to them out of unconditional love toward them personally. Therefore, they may feel it to be manipulative, that they’re being nice to their face, but then, at the end of the day, don’t come to their aid or call them a friend outside this situation.

It is never wise to take it to be personal when a charming person is being charming in a social situation they couldn’t avoid without losing favor with other charming people.

The entrance exam

Everybody has a crowd that they want to impress. To some it’s whomever mom and dad chooses, to others, it’s whomever they’ve chosen. Whatever it is, we tune into what that crowd likes, and then match our approach. What we consider FAKE (and pathetic) is to choose ONE individual because she or he was nice to you for a second, and then match yourself to THAT person specifically, thinking they’re an easy target. (If the attraction is mutual from the start it’s OK, but most of the time, we react to it as being creepy. When it’s OK, is when there is an attraction or curiosity already, and then you mutually alter things to match each other, but one-sidedly it’s anything but charming.)

The crowd we want to impress has certain expectations. Never underestimate the value of “approachability” when you’re looking down at another person or a group. “Approachability” is a strategy of toning things down just a little bit, to lower the threshold for your true equals to walk over. It can be a charming self-disparaging humour when that person is the picture of perfection, for instance, sometimes it’s toning down the dress just a notch so not to look like a Miss Universe competitor but just someone really good looking. Sometimes, it requires a fat percentage of 45, a worn jog pant outfit, and gumboots.

What you consider “charming” depends entirely on who you want to impress. NEVER ASSUME people are out to impress your crowd if they look very dissimilar from your ideal.

Charming strategy level up.

If you ARE charming, there’s something you probably don’t do very well yet, but you have to, for your own protection and that of other charming people.

1. To ignore negative labels and to stop being manipulated into proving yourself to be nice to people you don’t even like very much.
2. To dodge relationships you don’t want in a very suave, stealth manner; to know that sometimes IGNORING a person is the KIND rather than NICE thing to do. (The less they know about your charm the better.)
3. Erase last bits of your narcissistic traits
   1. Stop thinking that because you’re so nice and awesome, you have to be love everybody.
   2. Stop thinking your company is so valuable, you can’t say no to anybody.
   3. Stop thinking OTHERS are unlovable to EVERYBODY just because they’re unlovable to you.
   4. Stop befriending unlovable people out of charitable intent – they deserve AND CAN HAVE real friends.
   5. Stop thinking YOUR WAY of being charming is the ONLY way; there are people who tone things down BY A LOT to be charming and approachable. Others do everything on 100% to be enough for people who also do everything on 100%. Both types like their own kind more than the other. This is relaxation: You don’t have to feel sorry for them; they’re not suffering because they can’t be REAL friends with you.

To know you’re not needed by people who are not like you is a liberation for yourself and them. You don’t have to be nice to people who are not like you, because well… They don’t like you that much, either. :p There’s just that danger level of people who are 98% charming to everybody and everybody wants to change that 2% about you to THEIR preference, so the CLOSER you are to someone’s authentic perfection without being so, the more careful you have to be when making approaches – you don’t want people to get green light to change you where you don’t want to be changed.

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