To make or break a persistent (unwanted) connection to someone who insists they love you…

If you are in a situation where someone is persistently in love with you and demanding a chance, give them permission to love you as much as they do, and give them a chance to prove to you that they do, indeed, love you. Do not promise to love them back, however, or to have sex with them until they ignite a genuine response in you.

You don’t actually need to say anything about it. You can just accept their love and not feel guilty about it. They should feel it. It is your guilt of not loving people back when they love you so much that they interpret it as fear of not being loved. You don’t have to feel guilty for not loving someone back, love is an involuntary reaction to something or someone we find lovable. It’s their job to be lovable to you; you obviously have already managed to be lovable to them.

There is a likelihood that they believe you don’t believe they WOULD love you if you allowed them to and that you don’t trust their love for you. Therefore, when you reject their love, they feel you don’t trust them to love you, and ask for a chance to do that: to love you. (You can also ask what they actually ask a chance to prove if they do.) Don’t assume you know what they want a chance to do; for instance, you might think they’re asking for a chance to prove that you’d love them back if you gave them a chance, but that may not be what they’re asking.

Then, react to them authentically. If you still react to them in an a “whatever” manner, they’re likely to believe their love isn’t going to make you happy and they may give up… Eventually. Don’t alter your response, tho, just give them a permission to love you as much as they do. Worship the ground you walk on if that’s how they feel. React as they make you feel.

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