Trail Companions*: Spausal Spirit Mirror

These connections are the most commonly confused for a True Spirit Mirror¹. The simplest way to explain the development of Spousal Spirit Mirrors² is that the pair has been married (several times) before in previous lifetimes, but not for necessarily for true, profound love but through some kind of an arrangement, whether voluntary or by arranged marriage, or simply because this person was the second runner-up (or down from there) to their True Emotion Mirror in the monogamous society. Because of the way people think, a spouse can take an ownership to the other spouse, watching over their every move making sure they are faithful, and that can become a habit that spans across lifetimes. For whatever reason these two were married before, in the case of Spousal Spirit Mirrors, those reasons were not based on true, authentic love but on something different, sometimes even comfortable habit of marrying this same person over and over.

When you meet your Spousal Spirit Mirror, you feel a sense of familiarity, and a sense of obviousness, kind of like this has already been arranged and you simply slip into your familiar role of a spouse to this person. Some people may feel like they’ve been caught on a run: “Oh f*** here she/he comes to wreck my day!” as they were hoping for the death to truly part them the last time around, but may feel unable to tell them that they are not going to get married again this time around.

Spousal Spirit Mirrors are a result of monogamist ideals being forced on all people simply because it is a tradition to form marriages a certain way. They are simply a forced result of a forced ideal that shouldn’t exist, but as it happens, these pairings do repeat from lifetime to lifetime, and although they are with “the second best” (or even worse) it will become the primary relationship of each partner because the ideal partner (possibly poly) is unavailable, as in locked in a monogamous relationship, or too scary to reach for, and also, a taboo.

Spousal Spirit Mirrors are a result of this tradition of monogamy and forcing fidelity when it doesn’t happen naturally due to true love, and as such, many associate familiarity as true love. The pairs have learned to love one another and be affectionate towards one another, they have grown together without ever truly understanding one another. This is what most relationship advice prepares people for, how to “understand women” or “understand men” because we think all women think one way and all men think one way, when in fact, it is MOSTLY  (not all of it but mostly) about the differentiation of polygyny and polyandry, whether we naturally think in the male-way or female-way. It makes sense that most polyandrous women think like men and most polygynous men think like women. But things are never quite that simple, and that falls outside the scope of this post.

What the Spousal Spirit Mirrors lack in comparison to True Emotion Mirrors is the depth of understanding one another that comes naturally to True Emotion Mirrors (even though they rarely believe they understand one another and are afraid they’re simply fooling themselves into thinking they know how the other one feels) and the depth of compatibility. As True Emotion Mirrors are perfectly aligned to one another, the Spousal Spirit Mirrors are much more “normal” in the way they communicate as a couple, they face the same issues any couple would be expected to face and they fit the societal norm of an ideal relationship perfectly.

When they run, it is usually a question of having met their True Spirit Mirror, and not yet having lost hope to unite their lives with them. The only real threat to a Spousal Spirit Mirror relationship is a True Emotion Mirror in the picture because the safe habit of staying together is very often stronger motivation than the allure of freedom. It is also the True Emotion Mirror that Spousal Spirit Mirrors instinctively fear and are prepared to fight against, and often also know exactly what to do to stop their spouses from cheating on and leaving them for a True Emotion Mirror. The marriage contract comes to play instantly and to Spousal Spirit Mirrors who haven’t been in love before it is the most natural thing in the world to enforce the relationship with a marital contract. To people who are used to True Emotion Mirror relationships in their past lives, enforcing a love relationship with a marriage contract seems like an odd thing to do. To them, if their spouse wants to leave them for another person in itself is a clear indicator of a relationship that should not exist, because they do not associate love with ownership of a person.

The way to identify a Spousal Spirit Mirror relationship is a sense of owning the partner as if you had already been married for quite some time at the time you meet. It is the easiest thing to form a relationship, and you almost fall into an old, familiar pattern with someone you have only just met; there is a feeling of “destiny”, something that is out of your hands and “dictated” from above. It also feels as if you had been given a permission to form a sexual relationship with this person, particularly strong in people who are sexually unadventurous lacking a better expression. If you, as a woman, have ever felt awkward allowing a man to pay for your dinner or clothes, having a Spousal Spirit Mirror walk in and pay for your livelihood seems like the most natural thing to do. You feel safe with them and you will likely fall asleep next to them with ease, even if you’d normally toss and turn with a stranger. Anything a married couple would do without feeling awkward about it comes to you quite without drama, and you are used to having each others’ backs in life. You’ve got a best friend -feeling about the relationship, and also a sister/brother -connotation springs to mind if you have met a True Emotion Mirror before.

Spousal Spirit Mirror chaser in separation phase will feel irritation and slight panic and sense of doom or fear about the prospect of facing a life alone. They feel that their Spousal Spirit Mirror owes them the safety of marriage and they feel like they are violating an existing contract between them if they attempt to “get away” from the relationship.

On my blog, I do not support these relationships, as I focus on bringing True Emotion Mirrors together, but if you seek advice for this relationship type, most generic advice will cater to your needs quite perfectly.

1. True Emotion Mirror in other theories is called a Twin Flame, Twin Soul or Twin Ray – depending on the source. ↩

2. Spousal Spirit Mirrors in the Twin Flame context is often referred to as the ‘soulmate’, although in everyday speech ‘soulmate’ may refer to either of the connections. ↩

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