Incredibly, a narcissistic relationship mimics a True Emotion Mirror relationship at times very convincingly. There are a few key differences that you can pin, however, to see whether this is a narcissistic bind or a True Emotion Mirror relationship.

1. Both True Emotion Mirrors and narcissistic sources can give you everything you want in life, by their potential, but…

Now, when you observe this person and all the great things they are, fully capable of being your perfect partner from what you can see, how do you feel about it?

A) They should use all that potential to make you happy.

OR

B) You want to try your best to make them happy because they’re spectacular, but you wonder whether YOU are enough for them and able to give them all they want and deserve.

The answer A is the answer of a narcissist, and the answer B is potentially the answer of a True Emotion Mirror or that of a narcissistic supply (they might be a narcissist, but B clears you from that suspicion).

2. Do you feel you must keep tapping on this person’s shoulder to make them notice you again?

How easily do you lose their attention? Do you feel like you must constantly jump up and down, flailing your arms to keep their attention on you (even though you’re monogamists)?

If you do, that’s a narcissistic bind – the potential narcissist is either you or them, I can’t tell from this, but one thing is certain: you will NEVER need to fight for your True Emotion Mirror’s attention… At least not again and again. You may need to snap them into realizing you’re you, but after they’ve SEEN YOU, they won’t look away for long… This can be absolutely literal; you couldn’t imagine walking into a room and not having your True Emotion Mirror perk up instantly, looking right at you (unless you’re poly, in which case there might be multiple TrEmoRs in the same room… Lucky you.)

If you feel they are unhappy with you, or they don’t like looking at you, this cannot POSSIBLY be your True Emotion Mirror. Not a chance. If you feel they are fighting not to give you attention, they MAY be your True Emotion Mirror, but they may also intensely dislike you for reals. However, it is a very good sign if you feel that this person notices you instantly, loves looking at you, loves being near you, and seems comforted just knowing you’re nearby… And you feel the same way about them.

3. With this incredible person, how do you feel?

You feel a little suspicious of your own sanity thinking this person might actually love you back (instead of just seeing you as a good tool to use for whatever they need)… – or do you feel blessed that the Universe gave you such a great husband/wife as a reward and a sign of love toward you?

Suspicious: Potentially True Emotion Mirror – Blessed: Narcissistic supply.

5. Do you feel your love is as good as anybody else’s, despite differences in character traits, intelligence levels, or looks, and feel this justifies you pressuring them into a relationship with you even when they seem reluctant? “Why not have me? They could easily have me; what’s the holdup?”

As good as anybody: they are your narcissistic supply (surprise, surprise) OR no, you believe you have to match things with something equal of value: Potentially a TrEmoR.

The difference between a narcissistic bind and a True Emotion Mirror

The narcissistic bind is between two unequal people, where the non-narcissist is impressive, skilled, talented, and usually the narcissistic supply and the narcissist is the one who will do anything to link themselves to the impressive name of the narcissistic supply. They, themselves cannot be impressive, so they must get themselves an impressive partner. To that end, the narcissist tries to manipulate, coerce, and force the narcissistic supply to give themselves up; effectively, to lose their faith in true love and let themselves be wed to this unimpressive person who needs a lapel bin spouse.

Subscribe to get a Daily Message