True Emotion Mirrors ; make passionate love tonight, or wait for the priest?

Make sure you are the Idealists* before you read this, otherwise, you may confuse yourself to no extent. Also, if you are a Idealists*, never discuss this with the Survivalist* because they won’t get it.

In earlier texts, I’ve equated some strange bonding behaviors to be the Survivalist* thinking, but they’re not. Please don’t get confused if I have left some references to this in my earlier posts. It’s just that I figured I’m a pure the Idealists*, so everything I couldn’t instinctively understand would have to be a sign of the Survivalist* thinking. Not quite so.

Many lifetimes worth of learning (and unlearning)

the Idealists* thinking is a side effect of many, many lifetimes under your belt. An Old or Ancient being. During this time, we’ve learned certain methods to navigate sticky situations in our lives. What used to work in a previous lifetime, may not work anymore in this one, and nothing is as true as in getting (back) together with our True Emotion Mirror.

What is also to be noted about the way the Idealists* make a connection to their True Emotion Mirror, is quite sensitive to outside influence and interruption. You cannot improve on a perfection, you know? When you change the way you do things, due to societal pressure, others convincing you that a certain set of behaviors is needed to “land yourself a husband” or to “catch yourself a wife” you throw your True Emotion Mirror off, as they no longer know what it is that you’re doing or saying. The man/woman they once knew is off. Something wrong with you.

The Survivalist* Women that Ruined the Male True Emotion Mirror

The Survivalist* are creatures of societal habits. The Idealists* are creatures of their own habits. The Idealists* are able to adapt to the new habits and expectations, but usually only externally. What they want, deep down, is what their True Emotion Mirror also expects. So.

Deep down, the Idealists* thinking male might hope that he could just come together with his True Emotion Mirror, say a few beautiful words, go home, make passionate love to her night after night and live their lives happily ever after. In the hands of the Survivalist* thinking female, he has gotten to learn that shit like that doesn’t happen without a commitment. Ring first, sex next, right?

So the smart the Idealists* thinking male has figured out how this works and acts accordingly, but when he flashes the metaphorical white dress to his the Idealists* thinking female True Emotion Mirror, she doesn’t seem to see the damned thing. What’s going on? Why isn’t she reacting with a gasp and hurry to the nearest bridal shop to make the metaphorical dress a real one?

She assumes you want to make love to her… THAT NIGHT, but instead, you’re acting all weird.

The male half of this equation has learned women want to wait. If you’re serious about a woman, you have to respect them and wait. So you do. Instead of feeling respected, she feels rejected and doesn’t know why it is that he is acting bizarre. Other men, who may not be quite as serious about her would take her home that same night, the way she feels is natural, but you… Why are you acting so cold and distant?

So she goes on a backfoot and acts weird around you, too.

You think she’s playing hard to get.

You’re flashing that metaphorical wedding dress to her, but she ain’t getting the message, because she’s used to making love first, then thinks about the wedding later. She has reversed the male-female roles, and he doesn’t know how to approach. He wants to know she knows he’s serious. She wants him to know she isn’t planning on trapping him but that she’s in love with him. She shows this by not withholding her affections, which, again, he may interpret as “to her, this is all sex”.

Then again, the tables may be reversed, too

The rejection may come from her, as well. She has learned that men do not take easy women seriously. So rather than giving him what he wants, even though that’s the natural thing for her to do, she rejects him, as that is what she’s learned/told to do. He gets hurt to the core and retreats thinking he’s been the biggest idiot in this world trying to get it on with a woman like that. He decides never to entertain such moronic ideas anymore as to think a girl like that could possibly love him.

Breaking down the walls; cat and mouse

When things go bad once, they have a tendency to get worse in time. As both of the partners try and figure out what is wrong, they make mistakes and assumptions about what the other person expects.

“Don’t give in too easy or she/he loses her/his respect for you.”

“Don’t be too eager. That turns them off.”

“Play jealousy games, that turns them wild.”

“Reject them. Beautiful women can’t stand being said ‘no’ to, that should make her run after you like possessed…”

All of these methods might work for the wrong one, but never on a True Emotion Mirror… As a solution, at least. If you both happen to have the same preset going into it, maybe you’ll play beautifully together, but if you try to fix something that went wrong somewhere, these usually make things go from bad to worse.

The only thing to do sometimes is to cool it off and take a timeout.

The good thing is that the Idealists* are equally unwilling to cause hurt on each other, so even when they would play hard to get or attack each other for a game of love, they should fizzle out very quickly as the other partner retreats from the battlefield. This saves them from saying or doing things that would make things unsolvable later on.

Follow your instinct

In case of a True Emotion Mirror, you can pretty much read each other’s minds. TRUST THAT ability. You usually know what your True Emotion Mirror expects, but you may not trust it – too good to be true, even. You’ll easily start talking yourself out of it.

My True Emotion Mirror was picking a fight. He wanted me to lose my temper with him and get into a delicious fight that would then result in wonderful “oh I love you too”. I’ve never lost my temper to anyone I love. I only ever scream at people I don’t like… At all. I felt tempted to kick him in the chin bone and ask him what the fuck was wrong with him, and why was he acting so weird, but I feared that would be presumptuous if nothing else. I hate and despise women who assume they are so fucking hot that they can treat men any which way they like and have them drooling after them… (And admire men who are immune to this SOOO MUCH.) So whatever I would do, I wouldn’t give him a reason to think I was presumptuous about his feelings toward me.

Surprise surprise, he interpreted my mild manners as “being so above everything”.

I sent him a letter to tell him how I felt. A very common idea that rarely turns things toward anything but worse still. He took it something along the lines of “you think I’m that easy, do you? You just snap your fingers and I’ll come running?”

The moral of the story

I don’t know how you’ve gotten your wires crossed. Whatever it was, it’s probably solvable by studying what they have told you and what you’ve told them. How did you miscommunicate? Think about all the negative things people say about your gender or his gender and think whether or not they could be avoiding being labelled just that.

The first thing I ever thought about my True Emotion Mirror is “a giggolo”, a ladie’s man, a sleezy lover. 😀 I was sure he’d sleep with women for money if they’d ask, and that he thinks highly of himself as a lover. I am also sure this is the last thing he wanted me to think about him, so he made sure not to make passes at me, ever, but to show me he was serious about marrying me. The trouble is, I’ve never wanted to be “a wife”, I’ve always wanted to be madly in love, but never “a wife”, per say. That word, to me, means a nagging, neclected cook and a cleaning woman with a baby stretched vagina, and I’d much rather be my lover’s favorite whore than his wife. Both, preferably, but whore, rather. The reason being, that I’ve spent lifetimes being the other woman. I know how men talk about their wives to their whores, and NOTHING would want me to be the woman that my lover speaks about to his whore. I want to be his whore instead… (And men never talk about their whores to their wives. The whore is the delicious secret, the wife is the torturous reality.)

The moral of that story; your past lives offer clues as to how you both think. If you can access them, access them. Figure it out. Sort it out. And then… Try again.

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