True Emotion Mirrors Part I
The True Emotion Mirror is a highly sexual romantic connection most often between a male and female but not in any way limited to it. It can, besides being possibly homosexual, it can be bisexual, and a poly-connection. It is always, by definition, a sexual, spiritual, intellectual, and a romantic connection, regardless of the specific form it takes. The True Emotion Mirror is not there to compete over the love of your friend, parent, or your child, it is a special connection between sexual and romantic lovers. It is the connection that “you cannot have” if you believe in the cynics, who believe you cannot find it all in one person. These soulmates prove the assumption to be false. You can have it all in one person (including a polygamous connection – they are your PERFECT counterpart), and that person, should they feel the same way about you, is your True Emotion Mirror.
There are other soulmate types that I am going to compare this connection to. Some are sexual, some are less so, but they are always lacking some aspect compared to the True Emotion Mirror, a soulmate that will bring out everything that you are out of you, accept you for everything that you are, and loves you for everything that you are, and that feeling is ALWAYS mutual by definition, not by assumption. You cannot have a True Emotion Mirror that is one-sided. However, you can certainly fool yourself into thinking the feelings are mutual, and that is another type of a soul-connection, most likely an Enigma. Many True Emotion Mirrors fear that exactly, that they are fooling themselves and that’s a healthy fear that we’re going to look into closer later.
A True Emotion Mirror is sometimes difficult to identify because people have different ways of understanding words and not everyone has even met a True Emotion Mirror. They are unmistakable for some people, but some even manage to know a few and not realize they are what they are. I’ll write more about that later.
You can sense their love for you. You FEEL their love.
There is ONE vital key point you must know about True Emotion Mirrors. You can ALWAYS feel their love and desire for you. You have a spiritual connection, which means you can FEEL each other’s feelings and emotions. “A spiritual” connection doesn’t mean the void of sexuality, but that the sexuality is thick with emotion and desire, and you can feel their feelings as well as your own. If you allow me to use a brute expression, you can almost feel yourself fucking them (when the connection works – it is possible you’ll have THE WORST sex of your life to begin with, you just KNOW it WOULD BE better if…)
You may also feel that you cannot CONNECT to them sometimes, but you NEVER EVER feel that they DON’T love you. You either cannot tell, or you know they love you, but you will NEVER feel like they DO NOT love or care about you. They are NEVER indifferent to you, and they NEVER actually hate you – they may hate you because they think you don’t love them back, or because you treat them horribly (as they sometimes do) but it is NEVER about them not loving you.
(There’s also a point when a love dies, and if love has died between you and someone, that person NEVER WAS your True Emotion Mirror. Your TrEmor can throw you off a building and that doesn’t affect your feelings toward them, you may TRY to hate them, but you just can’t. There are, of course, lesser love connections that you can feel the other person loves and cares for you, but they have limits for you. There’s only so far that you can push it before they kick you to the curb. Just saying that if the love is missing, this is about being a Rejection Junkie.)
Much More Than One Sign
(what doesn’t yet prove a True Emotion Mirror bond)
In my years of coaching True Emotion Mirrors or, as some call them, Twin Flame s, I have found that describing a True Emotion Mirror is not quite enough. I also have to make a real effort to try and explain what it is not.
This is because not all people have actually met their True Emotion Mirror, or if they have, they haven’t noticed it. This sounds incredible given how strongly some people react to their True Emotion Mirror, but once you understand that these people are easily the kind that you simply discard as “unattainable” so easily you never give them a second thought. Maybe not too good to be true, but certainly way out of your league – you think.
Many people form an obsession to a person who ISN’T their True Emotion Mirror, perhaps because that person has shown them love and kindness when a lot of other people haven’t. If you’ve ever felt one person loving you, it is very likely that you are mistaken about the connection. It requires a reference point or two to recognize for certain (unless the connection started at such an early age when it was COMPLETELY instinctive.)
People may read these descriptions and signs with an obsessive need to prove that the person they are thinking about IS their spiritually wedded counterpart when they are nothing of the sort. As a self-check; are you WILLING to contemplate the theoretical possibility that this person doesn’t belong to you? If so, you are capable of thinking about this rationally and to not fool yourself. Do you feel they love you, used to love you, or don’t love you?
If I then focus too much on discouraging people who have not met their True Emotion Mirror, I will easily discourage those who have, and make them “accept the reality” their love isn’t real. So I am trying to find a balance here between two horrible potential results:
- Accidentally discourage a True Emotion Mirror from chasing the one their TrEmor, driving them to a miserable Partial Value/Near True Emotion Mirror relationship and an ultimate suicide (very likely result).
- Failing to discourage a Trail Companion* from their obsession locking their target from moving on to a relationship with their True Emotion Mirror, that actually requires for the false connections to be released, and the ultimate suicide of the person they claim to love. (Due to the inability to close the gap to their actual True Emotion Mirror due to the wrong person’s inability to let them go.)
“Running” behaviors
Many people believe that because a person who they love a great deal is “running” from them, that this is a sign of a True Emotion Mirror bond. Of course, that is not a sign significant enough alone. Running and rejection may not be a sign that you’ve actually been truly rejected, either, but this alone doesn’t prove the matter one way or another.
There are plenty of reasons for a person to reject you and some of them are unpleasant. A fact of adult life that most of us accept without issues. One MAJOR reason for rejection is that this person doesn’t love you. Nothing to feel surprised about, even if you were convinced you’ll ride into the Sunset together.
Similarly, there are plenty of reasons why your True Emotion Mirror would seem to have rejected you, one of them being that they were looking for you to give them a signal you want them but you didn’t. There are about 1001 ways for True Emotion Mirrors get their wires crossed, so don’t despair – they can be uncrossed, however, also don’t automatically conclude that since someone rejected you, they are deeply in love with you. (Should go without saying, but so surprisingly often, it doesn’t.)
The most amazing person you’ve ever met is not enough, either
It isn’t enough that they are the most amazing person you’ve ever met, it may be that you’ve simply met someone truly amazing like Elvis or Lady Gaga, and you think they are so amazing they must be your True Emotion Mirror because people say your True Emotion Mirror is the most amazing person you’ve ever met. NO. That’s not enough. The more people love them, the less likely it is that they are your True Emotion Mirror. And yet, Lady Gaga and Elvis have their True Emotion Mirrors , too.
If you think a celebrity is your True Emotion Mirror, don’t give up yet, because the fact they are famous is not alone enough to prove they are NOT your True Emotion Mirror, any more than you loving them like mad proves that they are.
If this is the only person who has (truly) loved you, that’s not enough
There’s a big chance a person who has never really experienced love to cling to the only person they feel has truly loved them. This may also happen with people who are often ignored or rejected by the majority of people, but to whom one person has shown simple kindness because they are (trying to be) a good person.
“I’d Love You More If Only You Were More Like Me!”
They are never a person you wish to change and adapt to yourself and to your own needs and for your own use. You would NEVER want to tamper with the perfection that is your True Emotion Mirror. YOU think they are perfect, in every way, their flaws are perfect and you admire everything they are. You ADMIRE THEM like they were divine (almost). Sometimes you are ashamed to admit it, as they so perfectly reflect who you are – and if you don’t really like who you are, you may be ashamed of your emotions for this person… For one thing.
Near Emotion Mirror may feel so irritatingly close to perfection to you that you feel like you simply have to get that slight irritation out of them, and then you’d be happy. You feel like squeezing pimples, you know you shouldn’t but you can’t help yourself. However True Emotion Mirrors don’t feel this way, or at least they are more than willing to let you squeeze the impurities out of them, they’d love you to. A person who doesn’t belong to you will find it irritating and insulting you’re trying to “improve them”.
A Near True Emotion Mirror who wants to be changed by you will welcome your tweaks and may, then, turn into a True Emotion Mirror, but it has to happen with their consent!
Feeling Equal, inferior, or superior
It is more than normal that your True Emotion Mirror makes you feel inferior by just being who they are. You may feel like everything they do is just to rub it in how insufficient you are in comparison to them. This may not be at all their intention, they may simply be that good or that perfect (from your personal perspective) that it feels like they are taunting you on purpose trying to rub it in – while they are equally starstruck about you. (This may also be your Near True Emotion Mirror.)
When they are just as starstruck about you as you are about them, it is not at all uncommon that the True Emotion Mirrors start competing with each other and trying to one-up each other in every way possible just to feel equal to the other. Two massive personalities trying to impress the other often leads to both feeling more and more inferior and attacked as time goes on, while both are simply trying to BE ENOUGH in comparison to the other.
You may feel ashamed of thinking THEY might think you think you’re equal to them. You might also feel ashamed of “the fact” that they took you in and you can’t quite ever measure up to their perfection. You may feel dwarfed by them, by simply the way they are, and you may feel like you have to kind of push your head up a little – to “one up” but deep down you feel they are too good for you.
However, what you’ll NEVER feel about your True Emotion Mirror is SUPERIORITY. You will NEVER EVER NO MATTER WHAT feel superior to them, you may know you are more skilled than them, you may be more talented and more experienced, older, richer, and more famous, but never “superior”. You do not feel contempt toward your True Emotion Mirror, even when you felt you are head and shoulders ahead of them in some area of life you both care about. You know it’s only a matter of time when they reach your level, and that you’ll learn from them as much as they’ll learn from you in one way or another.
Potential and changing each other.
True Emotion Mirrors do love the potential in each other, but they also have a tremendous amount of respect for each other, which means that they don’t FORCE YOU or INSIST that you stay there to be molded into a perfect being. However, you will mold each other, but with an eager permission from that person: “I would LOVE to be more what you want me to be, I love you and I want to be more of what you love, I want to grow with you, be your perfect person! I want to be MORE LIKE YOU, teach me!” True Emotion Mirrors are eager to learn from each other; after all they view each other as perfect beings (from their subjective perspective) and would love the opportunity to be more like what they admire – if given half a chance (that they often feel they’re not worthy of to the point they don’t want their True Emotion Mirror waste their time on…)
A sign of a Trail Companion* is that they always RESIST the “improvements” you try to enforce… Or they don’t take your guidance seriously, they don’t stick to it, or generally speaking lack attention or will to be a better version of who they are. They’d also feel offended that you would consider it your duty or right to mold them.
Trail Companions* always feel a level of contempt or superiority towards each other, and this goes both ways. Be sure to understand this! It goes both ways. As much as you feel contempt towards your Trail Companion*, they feel the same amount of contempt for you. They always feel the other one is the one with some work to do!
This also makes it so hard to let go of a Trail Companion* compared to a True Emotion Mirror, because you have to agree to disagree. To let go, you have to agree the other one feels they are the better person and you TRULY FUCKING DISAGREE and want to prove them dead wrong. You easily let go of a Near and True Emotion Mirror because you think they are (near) perfect and OF COURSE they have the right to diss you, as they are that amazing. A Trail Companion* irritates you with their sense of unfounded superiority and you want to kill that “ego”. You’d feel surprised they feel the same way about you because you cannot understand their values instinctively. You may only learn to value their way of thinking intellectually and emphatically, but your instinct tells you to fuck them up.
“OMG, how lucky are you to have me, right?!”
No: You don’t think your True Emotion Mirror should be GOBSMACKED about the fact YOU, a god or a goddess, love them! The feeling goes the other way around with True Emotion Mirrors : you feel YOU are the lucky one. (Of course, you’d feel this way with an Enigma, too, if they took you in as a friend or a lover or a spouse or whatever.)
If you have an ounce of self-doubt in you, and your self-esteem isn’t near perfect, you are unlikely to even CONSIDER the possibility that your True Emotion Mirror would (truly) love you. Many feel like they have to buy their love somehow, even when they weren’t even trying to reject them. Many times True Emotion Mirrors marry thinking they somehow manipulated that person into the marriage, even though the love is truly mutual.
Don’t confuse this with a highly compatible Trail Companion* who actually doesn’t love you. You’d feel quite surprised or even irritated that a Trail Companion* wouldn’t love you. You’d feel they have NO RIGHT to NOT LOVE YOU. In comparison, you are not at all surprised your True Emotion Mirrors wouldn’t want you. Quite the opposite, you take it as a natural thing because from your perspective they are such a great person that they could literally have anyone they want and you simply think well, that’s life, right? You’d feel that “people like that don’t get excited over people like me, it’s simply natural” – but they do. It will also take some convincing before you believe this is actually the case, but NO AMOUNT of convincing can make a Trail Companion* with a healthy self-esteem and a True Emotion Mirror or a few in their lives think their Trail Companion* is a catch. (They can be persuaded to marry the Trail Companion*, but they won’t love that person more for it.)
Feeling like you’re a dirty pig compared…
A True Emotion Mirror always finds a way to feel insufficient or not enough for their true counterpart. They have a special skill for this until they finally figure this out.
If they’re the man, they often feel like they are a dirty (old) pervert who is luring this perfect young being into his bed with deceit and filth, and they should be ashamed of themselves. Her Trail Companion* friends and family members would cheerfully share his sentiments. If she’s the woman, she may feel like she’s “used goods” if she’s slept with other men before him (even in 2018) or that she’s tainted in some way, or, if she’s a virgin, she’ll find a way to feel too inexperienced and boring for their True Emotion Mirror.
Men often reject their True Emotion Mirror thinking she’s better off without him, and that she should find a better man than he is.
For a long time, they will find a thousand reasons why their True Emotion Mirror must feel disgusted, or at least uninspired by them, and both (all) parties may need a surprising amount of reassurance from their counterpart before they trust this is really happening. One of the major reasons for True Emotion Mirrors going their separate ways is the lack of reassurance as they feel “surely they know they can have anyone they want, they are perfect…!” But when it comes to a True Emotion Mirror, they don’t feel all that confident even if they agreed they can, generally speaking, have anyone they like.
Trying to convince a person you love them (the difference between a True and a Trail Companion*)
Another sign of a non-True is the fact if you are trying to convince them that you love them you don’t feel like it’s odd that you have to reassure them. With a True Emotion Mirror, you’d feel like you are trying to convince a prince that the pauper is in love with him. You’d feel it makes no sense for the inferior to try and convince the superior of the love. In contrast, with a Trail Companion*, it’s like you feel they should be amazed by the fact that you, a near god or a goddess, are in love with them. You expect them to be pleasantly surprised or amazed by such a luck coming their way that YOU, the AMAZING, are in love with them. (You may feel the love of a True Emotion Mirror so strongly, that you feel that one of you confessing to the feelings should be a relief to them, but if they would reject you, as they may, you wouldn’t feel surprised or offended but may be confused. You might feel confused.)
That says a lot about how you feel about a Trail Companion* – you think they are beneath you and should be grateful and amazed by your attention. You think their rejection is a narcissistic reaction to you, but in reality, it is the opposite. Your reaction to them is narcissistic.
You do not feel superior towards your True Emotion Mirror, not even when you KNOW you are better at some things than they are, and when you know you’ve got tons and tons of stuff to teach them and to show them, and you still see them as is someone who will simply take to it like a duck to water and you can’t wait to show this new world to them.
You would also never push them to learn this or that or to be better than they are now if they don’t want to like you’d easily do with anyone but a True Emotion Mirror; “Are you really that stupid/indifferent/ungrateful, that you don’t want to learn this, the stuff of Gods?! (Do you have any idea what I would have given for someone to teach me this…?!)”
How do you know FOR SURE?
You really cannot tell whether someone is your True Emotion Mirror until all of these points have been fulfilled:
- They tell you they love you more than they love themselves – or something similarly heightened.
- You can FEEL their love for you as if that love was your own (and they have verbally, confirmed it to you that you have correctly identified that feeling).
Although I know people can tell you lies telepathically just as easily as they lie to your face, particularly if they believe it themselves, I do ask people what their possible True Emotion Mirror has told them in spirit or in dreams if they cannot speak face to face for a reason or another.
As much as I would like to say that if you ask a True Emotion Mirror about their true feelings for you they will always give you a truthful answer, but they don’t always. They might not be sure, either. As big as it is, there’s a lot of insecurity and uncertainty that goes into it at times. They may tell you they want nothing to do with you, and the reasons for this vary. However, if pushed for an answer, they are much more likely to give up and spill the beans than what they would be if you simply let them be and hope they’ll confess their real feelings later on.
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*) Term changed after this post was originally written. Fractions of old terms may exist elsewhere in the post. Read about term updates.
**) Narcissists are Young Souls left alone to survive and they're doing their best. Their emotional age ranges from 3 to 17 -year old. The younger, the more severe the narcissism.
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