True love ignites at first sight, false love by getting attention.

You won’t believe it until it happens – you’ll feel reassured if it already has: true love ignites at first sight, but false love ignites through attention received. Both need attention shown to go somewhere.

If your goal is to “just find someone,” this post is not really relevant to you at all, but if you want true love, you have to know that it ignites at first sight. At eye contact. In a flash, you know how you are with this person; it comes with instant knowledge of it all.

Trust your sight if you have it. If you know you know people by looking at them, trust them, and act accordingly. Do not give chances beyond what your sight tells you they have a chance of winning. Also, KNOW when they are hoping for something other than what you’re offering a chance for them to gain.

Other “first sight” experiences.

Ambition is different. Seeing someone who you think would make you look good. “A status bitch” as someone put it. True love is instant love; while it contains sexual desire, it is a deep feeling of love, belonging, and contentment – instantly. It is a feeling of being happy that this other person even exists. It is not for anybody except them and yourself. It exists in its own bubble – a bubble that you can sometimes feel quite literally. It closes everyone else out, and inside it, it is perfect. Given that I keep talking about polyrelationships, the bubble also forms around multiple people and is not for a show but for those people alone… Even if they wind up putting on a show – they are, whether it’s a unit of two or more people, still a unit.

Pure sexual desire at first sight is different: it revolves purely around sex. An act. Often only one time would be enough to satisfy that desire. The desire with a True Emotion Mirror, your true love, will never be completely satisfied, and it is always satisfied. The love between True Emotion Mirrors contains their sexuality, even the darker shades of it, but they love each other purely for everything that they are. “Your hand could never taint me, no matter what it does.”

Leading people on by giving them chances you know they’re unlikely to win is actually pretty cruel.

If you are one of those people who know who they will fall in love with and who they won’t fall for, giving attention to people who you know you will never fully love is actually pretty cruel. It will also give you a reputation as a narcissist or even a psychopath if you give them any attention at all and then withdraw it. The reason why you give people attention is neither of those things; it’s just that people get lonely, and if they can’t find their true love, they’ll give that attention to whomever is there. They may also feel obligated to give chances to people they know they won’t love.

Your inability to love any given person is not the problem. The problem is that we are mostly brainwashed to do it. When a full 10 gives attention to a 9 or an 8, the 9 or an 8 is almost certainly going to fall in love with that attention, even if they would otherwise easily accept that this person is out of their league. It becomes a problem when that person believes their attention toward the full 10 is equally important and flattering. It is not. It is not enough to ignite love in that person.

ANY sexual or romantic attention you give to a person you won’t fall for is cruel. Even platonic attention given is dangerous. This is particularly true in same-gender friendships, when one of you turns out to be a bi- or homosexual, or even demisexual.

And then, the worthy chances: When you are interested but don’t know how it’s going to turn out.

There are situations when you don’t know yet. You genuinely do not know if you might fall for this person. You would be disappointed to let them go. While you know you’re not 100% in love with them yet, you know what you like and they’re all of that. You struggle to find something you don’t like about them, and if you do, it maybe something very minor and easily fixable; often something to do with their self-confidence being too low or too high. (Sometimes even the ones you love would do well with a little attitude adjustment.)

There are people who you know for an absolute certainty that you’ll never fall in love with them or be able to consider then a true friend. Leave them alone. You might not even want to hire them to work for you – especially not close to you. (If it feels good, it is good, tho; if you feel they can handle their job professionally, it’s all good, but you know how some people cannot keep their professional relationships professional.)

Full 10’s – with that power comes responsibility.

While to most people “don’t give attention to people you’re not interested in” is somewhat of a no-brainer advice, there are some superbly attractive people in this world. They get approached by everybody, and they easily start feeling like a-holes by turning everybody down. They also get lonely because finding other Full 10s in a small town especially is difficult, so the temptation is to give it a chance. (Also, there are other reasons for Full 10’s difficult love life but giving chances to hopefuls is a major one.)

If you are one of those people, you’re a little like… There are countries that consider masters of martial arts armed and dangerous even when they are not armed. Therefore, if they ever attack someone, it’s legally considered an armed assault. If you are that attractive, basically simply looking at a person in the eye is a bit like that. Armed and dangerous. UNFAIR.

Now, I know from experience, that it is nearly impossible to walk through a club without looking anyone in the eye by accident igniting a response, but, you just have to learn to brush them off. You may have to learn to be alone a lot, sad and unfair as it is. You will certainly have to learn to ignore guilt trips, shaming strategies, and “helpful advice.” You may gain a reputation, but you’ll have to learn to live with it… Even knowing other Full 10 people manipulated to think in the old fashioned way will judge you the same as they were a 9 or a 8. (Consider them a 10 minus until they figure this out themselves.)

Sounds a bit extreme.

If you were thinking that, all I have to say is why thank you, because Extreme sounds awesome. 😀 But yes, it sounds a bit much, I admit. Still, you know every time that a Full 10 gives attention to a lower score, they will ignite a little hope that they might be selling themselves short, but aren’t.

You maybe having fun with the lower scores. To you, it is riskless fun; your heart is not on the line. You can just enjoy sex and a bit of a party, friends with or without benefits, but when you leave, they will be devastated… And you’ll still feel nothing. You may not understand your effect on people. Maybe it’ll take a some collateral damage before you get it.

A Full 10 doesn’t have to stay that way to find his or her true love.

True love isn’t a response to your good looks or status. It’s just that with Full 10s, it’s kind of their thing. They may struggle to love themselves if they get unfit, and that may mean they won’t accept love  from anybody until they accept themselves (again.)

Spiritually; never push (wish) your perfectionist friend, family member, or lover into a state of imperfection if you want to prove to them that you love them even when they’re down. They’re not working that hard to be loved. They are doing it to simply enjoy being themselves. You might as well be driving them to suicide and claim it’s to show them you love them. Simultaneously, you’d be making it even harder for them to succeed, for them to work 10 times as much as they needed to to find that success, and you gained NOTHING as a consequence.

A Full 10’s true love will love them despite the decline of their looks and status and what not. However, for a Full 10 to take care of their lover, they may have to push them back to perfection – out of love and care for them. “I know you love yourself better when you look good. When your business is thriving. When your ratings are high,” whatever, you know? This, to a non-perfectionist is something that is not loving, but that a perfectionist feels is an act of love.

Assumption: You wouldn’t give me attention if you weren’t interested.

The trouble is that attention means interest, yes. But the question is; interest in what? Having a short fling? Having lunches in company rather than alone? Interest in getting off once or twice a week without strings attached?

The thing is, the further down the ladder people are, the less they believe someone would turn down love offered. Therefore, they think you’ve been unlucky somehow, and if they just treat you right… If they show you how loyal they can be, they can fix it all for you. “Beautiful people get abused a lot.” The truth is the opposite. People tend to love beautiful people and abuse the less attractive.

The reason why some people believe love at first sight isn’t real.

Giving chances to people who you know will never get there is the very reason why these same people grow to believe that love at first sight isn’t real. It isn’t, for them. They get involved with their betters, to put it bluntly, get their hopes up, and wind up disappointed. That’s your fault. The punishment is that you’ll struggle to find true love in this maze of people who will never be that for you. They have taken your faith in love at first sight away from you, because you’ve partaken in the act of making theirs false.

Now, let’s stop doing that. We have to reform a certain perfectionist alliance. Follow me on Instagram if you know what I mean. I have… Ideas.

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