Truth; How I see it, how society views it and what it actually is

Today, I woke up to a chilling truth. The truth was that a) I realized I don’t trust people to believe that I tell the truth. B) People don’t trust me to tell the truth because they believe everyone lies. C) The closer to the truth I speak, the less people believe me. This is because we all can pretty much skim the veneer off of people and tell the truth behind the mask, but with me, the mask is too thin to differentiate from the truth so they take it as a sign of pathological lying. For two  years my Miss Guides have been trying to pin me down of a lie. They finally did. I had lied to myself that I trust people and myself enough to tell the truth. THAT is not exactly true. I trust that they don’t believe half of what I say, and that’s why I can safely tell the truth because they won’t believe it to be true anyway; I’m hiding in plain sight.

I don’t regard other people as liars, and most people don’t either. I haven’t met many people who actually consciously or even semi-consciously lie. The stuff that comes out of their mouth is true in their minds, but we know how to decode it – it’s mostly automatic. Usually it’s fairly easy to spot people’s lies and crack the surface of their lies. Once you do that, you feel like you’ve made a friend. The closest people to me feel distant to me because they feel like I’m not letting them in; they have never had the opportunity to break the layer of lies. I simply don’t say anything or I tell the truth. Grudgingly, most often, because I don’t like my family and friends to be that close to me. I hate it when they read my blogs sometimes (sometimes I hate it that they don’t). I am uncomfortably honest with people who are actually close to me – for them and myself.

I too lie a little. Society demands it. Politeness and political correctness rely on people lying. “You look great.” I don’t lie enough to say it, I simply don’t say anything. It is still a lie, I suppose. The smile that I put on my face when other people compliment each other without warrant. I smile as if I agreed even when I think the object of their admiration is an absolute idiot. I smile, and that’s my lie. “Congratulations on your new baby!” They say and I smile thinking: “Yeah great. Another human onto an already overpopulated world. This is what, your fifth? Two just wasn’t enough, was it? Congratulations for not knowing how to use birth control you fucker.” I tell some lies about myself, too. I hate the question “what do you do for living” and have got an array of pretty lies to tell when someone asks me that. “Oh I’m a blogger” (of course I make almost nothing, and it’s certainly not a living, but I do blog. A lot.) I once told the truth. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Then I actually ended up talking quite a bit. I simply don’t want to tell people I live off their tax money, sleeping in every day, just so that I could keep writing.

We want people to lie to us and about themselves, too. That’s why we like to believe that people lie, because for as long as we believe they are lying, we can decide what the truth actually is. That is why political correctness will never work, because if people believe you’re just saying you don’t hate blacks or faggots or anyone really, everyone will decide what your opinion on these matters is for themselves, just the way they want it to be. If they want an excuse for discrimination or simply feeling bad, they’ll accuse you of being a racist or a homophobic because it suits them, or a racist will take you for a fellow racist if that suits them. This is the way we work, anyway in a polite world. If you don’t like what I’m saying, you can decide it’s just a pretty phrase I copied from some philosopher and spew it around as a front, when in reality I don’t even know what it means – and certainly if I say something smart and you don’t like being outwitted, you can always defend your ego by saying to yourself that I didn’t come up with that myself but copied it somewhere and just put it out there as something of my own. The culture of copying has rendered people’s brain’s useless. We think everything worth thinking has already been thunk and now we only need to copy stuff and redistribute it. If you read blogs about any specific topic, you quickly notice how much people say the same thing over and over and over and over and they get paid for it. People love reading this stuff over and over, too, because they approve of things they have already thought about and accepted as the truth; “I agree with what this man is saying. I like the fact he wrote it down so I can copy paste the link without going through the trouble of saying the same thing again to make my point clear.” And by “my point” people usually mean someone else’s point that they thought was poignant.

Most people only ever judge themselves by the lowest or closest point of comparison: “I don’t have to do better because they don’t.” That’s why people also decide that it is okay and even expected of them to lie a little. Embellish. Colour things for maximum effect. I don’t quite see what’s the point, because we can all decode it on the spot, but you’ll end up feeling sick because you have to keep up lying to yourself so that you can lie to other people without feeling sick to your stomach. People are only able to lie to others if they believe the lies themselves.

Stop believing your own crap, starting from the lie that everyone else is just as shit as you are. That is the most common lie people tell themselves followed closely by “I am a valuable asset to this company and I deserve my pay check.” To a lot of people, a job is just a daycare centre for adults, where they boost their own ego and pretend to have made a contribution while in fact they’re posting on Facebook and wasting time hoping it’ll be 5 pm soon, asking the worth-the-pay-check-people to help them with their every day work wasting their time too. The bigger the company, the closer it resembles a day care centre, down to little presents they give to well-behaving “workers” at the end of each month.

Fuck, somebody cut their tongue lose.

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