Unconditional love doesn’t exist. At best, it’s a chance or a phase.

If you are one of those people who are looking for unconditional love, please do understand this: It doesn’t exist one-sidedly, anyway. And when it goes both ways, it’s what we call “a mutually abusive” relationship.

Unconditional love is reserved for toddlers and people fallen into very bad times. But even then, it is only a chance for that person to grow up, or to build themselves back up. After that, they are supposed to redeem themselves and become worthy. Once on their feet, they’re supposed to be showing that love back at the person who was there for them or to pay it forward. There is no such thing as a free lunch; not at the homeless shelter, nor at your parent’s house.

You’ll run out of free lunches eventually.

Everyone has their limits. You WILL eventually run out of good graces if you never learn to give back. Do not teach yourself to take it as a humiliation to have to be nice to others so they’ll love you. Everyone who is well-loved knows this full well; they have to be nice to others in order to continue being loved. They can get away with SOME unpleasantness, but NOBODY is loved unconditionally… EVER. After a person turns 6 years of age, the clock will start running, and that person had better start demonstrating why they’re worth their lunch. Most kids start sooner; they’ll make you laugh, they tell you nice things, they’ll joke, they’ll bring their favorite toys for you to play with – that sort of thing.

And then, there are those whose free lunches are going to run out.

However, you’d be wise to know that some people will test you first.

The only people who love you somewhat unconditionally are those who have run out of free lunches to give themselves. They’ll treat each other equally horribly. Then again, they love each other for sticking around even though they’re horrible to each other. They will be relentless, however. There’ll never be a beautiful moment between them.

Some people will be nasty to you at the start of the relationship. They want to know if you’ll run at the first sign of trouble. You’d also be wise to know that to other people, this makes no sense: you cannot be the trouble they need to decide whether they’ll run from it or not! Still, if that person is worth it to you, you might want to stick around for a confrontation anyway.  They need reassurance that your love isn’t fragile. That’s their condition. You might as well see which category they fit into; nasty from the start or throughout the whole relationship if you think you truly love them.

(Still, not all people understand that thinking. If you tend to be nasty, but you love that person who is always nice, maybe pay their price for love: Be nice, or at least explain to them why you’re nasty.)

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