Waiting for bonding signals with ANOTHER PERSON

There are people who see men and women as relatively equal options as far as a spouse goes. Therefore, if they are interested in a person, they look for “bonding signs” in that person, before they make their move. They fear rejection or wasting their time with a person who they are interested in, as in, they don’t want to act too early before that person shows signs of “getting clucky” as Australians would phrase it. I believe the phrase refers to chicken and eggs hatching… 😉 This may stem from times when reaching puberty was the point where people got married and watching signs of interest in men or women had a fucking point.

However, in modern days, we will date and fuck around for years before we even consider marriage… Theoretically, at least. Therefore, the signals have changed to even going into a serious relationship with another person. There are women who are only interested in men who are dating another woman seriously because to them that means that man is ripe for marriage. The same is true in reverse, some men wait for a woman to start dating men seriously, before making a move.

True love has many meanings, however.

If everyone wants me, I’m not going to even HINT toward marriage with men I wouldn’t marry

Let me tell you this and I beg of you to not take this the wrong way. I am one of those women who 90% of men would marry in a heartbeat given the chance. That might be a low number. 99.9% of single men who are looking for a wife would marry me if they had the chance. Am I going to RISK getting married to someone I don’t want by even HINTING in the direction of looking for a husband?

NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.

I don’t have to look for a husband. I have to fucking DODGE husbands.

Therefore, waiting for me to show signs of wanting to marry is a long, long, long wait.

And the same is true for all men and women who have 0 issues finding people who wish to marry them. And IRONICALLY this means their True Emotion Mirrors are more than likely standing back waiting for a sign…

Forever.

People may try to date someone obviously in a different league

People who feel like giving a marriage signal will sometimes try and be seen seriously involved with someone who is out of their own league. A lower-level person will find the most handsome man or the most beautiful woman they can and visibly date them so that the people seriously in love with them would intervene and get them out of that bind. Someone saught after will try and date beneath them to show a signal “they’re ready” to someone they believe KNOWS they have a chance to swoop in and take what they want.

This often backfires, because the person who they want to give this signal to sees the difference between themselves and the person they’re dating and figure “out of my league”, and back down. A higher-level observer may think: “OK, if THAT is what you are satisfied with, good luck with that… You don’t even DESERVE someone like me. You certainly don’t NEED someone like me if you would date THAT out in the open.”

In other words, a disparity between partners is OFTEN intended as a signal for others to move in before they tie the knot by one or the other partner.

Dangerous games, however.

People looking for the True Emotion Mirror will keep the coast clear for them

Then, there are men and women who are waiting for what I call a True Emotion Mirror. They don’t care about MARRIAGE per se, and not necessarily children. Therefore, they WILL NOT demonstrate signs of “getting clucky”, but they will simply wait for as long as it takes for their True Emotion Mirror to be ready.

This may sometimes be interpreted as “still wanting to date casually”, and “not being ready” by a True Emotion Mirror who is still waiting for signs of puberty to kick in at 45.

A good workaround

There is a good way of demonstrating “I want to get serious” with someone specific without having to involve a third party to it. This is demonstrated by changing the style of clothing you wear from sexy and playful to serious and mature. HOWEVER, the signal is not always received by the other party, who doesn’t think of true love in terms of marriage and “settling down”.

To some people, true love is the adventure, the freedom of doing whatever you want and be loved for it. Appropriateness, ‘respectability’, and the sort are not always what your True Emotion Mirror wants from you. They want all of your love, for EVERYTHING they are, the good, the bad, the ugly… The sexy, the wild, the beautiful.

Is that what you want to give them or not is the question. If what you ultimately look for is different, I suggest a verbal question, talk it through. And… Sadly “I want everything from you” is a really bad answer because to some it means house, white picket fence, wedding, marriage, to others it means freedom, ever-lasting passionate sex in the wild…

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