Weight Loss: Turn your laziness into an asset. (Cheap, easy, fast, lazy.)

This is why you might want to try, too:

The last I was at this weight was around 20; I’m now 47.

75kg = 165 pounds, 60.8 kg = 134 pounds. 13.8 kilos = 31 pounds in less than a year. (I lost about 1 kilo, which is a bit over 2 pounds of weight on average per month. Faster than that, you need a lipo.)

Lazy cook? Yes, yes, yes!

Do you know how people love to cook a different meal every frigging meal and every day?! Oh no. Not us!

You’re eating rubbish because you’re too lazy to think about what else to eat, right? If so, this post is for you. This is a good starting point. If you’re already eating the same thing more or less every day because you’re too lazy to think of food, do yourself a favor and come up with just ONE healthy menu that you can repeat over and over without getting sick of it and then eat that, every day until you feel sick of it and want to either add something to it or change what you eat.

So, when you feel lazy, you just go: “Oh frick, I’ll think of a new meal tomorrow,” rather than grab a pack of chips – you don’t want to lose your progress.

Me, I have the same hot burrito twice a day (less than 500 calories each) and a bag of salted popcorn (less than 500 calories) for a Netflix snack before bedtime. That’s it. It’s delicious, easy, fast, cheap enough, spicey hot, and has every nutrient in place; a bit of veggie would be a good addition, and I also take a multivitamin to add to it. I don’t need a lot of variety, so I’m good.

Yours doesn’t have to be this, but heck, dudes and dudettes, you can’t do much better than this:

My Hot Burrito

Low Carb High Protein + Fibre Simon’s Pantry large wrap. (Key here is low carb, high protein, and extra fiber, the brand name is irrelevant, but if you can find it. It’s in the health food or bread section NOT by the tex mex stuff. The tex mex burrito shells are very fattening, without adding anything to the taste.)

Chopped iceberg lettuce (or other similar kale might do you fancy.)

150g (or 1/3 of a half a kilo package) (0.33 pounds) Extra-lean meat; pork, chicken, venison, or beef. (EXTRA LEAN is the key here. It MUST BE extra lean. It’s a bit more expensive than regular or lean, which is why pork or chicken might be the ticket. I actually prefer pork now; always loved beef.)

Burrito Spice Mix, Old El Paso (to taste; about one-third of the bag.)

Hot Taco Sauce, Old El Paso (about a third of the jar.)

3 Sweet cherry tomatoes chopped up (the amount can be bigger, it’s just that about 3 is enough, but calories are not the problem here.)

3 Green Olives chopped up (olives are a bit oily, so keep these low, and chop them up so they fill the whole thing nicely)

1/2 or 1 (Light) tasty cheese slice, cut into two or 4 strips.

1. Turn on your stove.
2. Get the wrap on a plate, and chop the lettuce (greens) on it.
3. Chop up the tomato and olives while you wait for the pan to heat up.
4. Once the pan heats, fry the mince WITHOUT adding oil or crease or similar; just fry it in its own fat. It REALLY does not need extra fat unless your frying pan is really old and terrible and you need a new one. (It doesn’t have to be expensive, even if the Ninja is awesome.)
5. When the meat is cooked (has changed color all through), add the burrito mix and “chop” it into the mince with the spatula.
6. Add the taco sauce and chop it into the mince after the spice, giving the mince a nice “moist” texture. Don’t spend too much time on it; the sauce does not need to be cooked.
7. Scoop it all up onto the burrito waiting on your counter.
8. Now, without turning your pan off, put the cheese slices onto the pan and let them melt on it while you get yourself a drink, chop the olives and tomatoes if you didn’t already, or something.
9. When the cheese bubbles a bit and is turning slightly brown (you can alter the brownness to taste as you try this over and over), it will also get sooo delicious it adds like 400 phantom calories to this thing. 😉 Once it’s a bit brown, carefully scrape it off the pan with your spatula and add on the burrito. (This might take some practice. If you mess it up, just add fresh cheese today, and try again tomorrow. This is the hard part.)
10. Wrap your burrito the best you can, and place “face down” back on the frying pan to toast it a little and to “close” the shell. Wait a couple of minutes, do some pushups or jumping jacks, or maybe water the plants… And turn the burrito over and fry the back for another couple of minutes.
11. Wrap in a bit of baking paper to make it easier to eat.

What also happens is that you will finish every jar, every pack of food, and you’ll have 0 food waste. Just saying.

MyFitnessPal

If you want to try something else, MyFitnessPal is an awesome free app that counts the calories of food by scanning the barcode and then asking you how much of it you’re eating. You need to get a kitchen scale for this if you don’t have one. They’re not too pricey, don’t worry.

MyFitnessPal is good even if you don’t plan on making a change just now, just check the calories you’re eating now and see if you can spot why you’re gaining weight. It does give you a good slap, I promise. (It will help you count how many calories you need, too.)

In addition, some walks and gym.

I also walked about 6000-12000 steps a day; otherwise, I sit all day writing. Many people walk more than that without even thinking twice about it. I went to the gym twice a week, but for the weight loss, it’s somewhat an added extra; I just like the muscle tone to be there, getting old and all. Now, I’m starting a new training plan to increase muscle weight and lowering body fat percentage further still, which will probably keep my weight about even for a bit before it should go up a bit. Who knows, I might wind up at a bodybuilding competition in the old bitches open if I’m not careful. 😀

What about your kids?

Notice that your children’s need for calories decreases per every kilogram of lean weight as they age. A growing infant needs more calories per kilogram of weight per day, than an older child with less growing up to do. Therefore, an infant needs 100cal/kg/day (considering a newborn baby weighs 2-3 kilograms at birth, that is next to nothing in actual food, and well enough calories in mother’s milk), and ages 1 to 3 years need 80 kcal/kg/day, 4 to 5 years needs 70kcal/kg/day, 6 to 8 years needs 60 to 65 kcal/kg/day and 9+ needs 35 to 45 kcal/kg/day.

It is vital to notice, however, that this relates to a child with a normal body fat percentage. If a child is already overweight, the calorie count must be counted as per their lean body weight, “body weight minus excess fat times the amount of calories needed per kilogram per day.” Child or adult, ONLY EVER feed the lean body mass, don’t feed fat, fat itself is food; it doesn’t require food for itself.

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