What a Young Soul* has to do to NOT chase away a child, friend, or other important Old Soul*

Old Souls* will treat you right, with respect and fairness, even if they hate you. They are very used to the feeling of hate, and they mitigate it well. They don’t HAVE TO like you in order to see your worth as a human being. Therefore, when you ask them for help, they will give it to you, no questions asked, if they are in a position of helping you. Even if they can’t, and you ask you for a dime they need for themselves, they feel horrible for not giving it to you, even if you were a complete stranger. What that means is that if the only connection you have with a Old Soul** is asking for their help, they will not count it for “a relationship” or “a friendship.” If they help you, it means nothing; if they don’t help you, it either means they can’t help you or they… Proper hate you to the level they’ve lost their respect, pity, and compassion for you, and your NEEDS no longer matter to them. When a Young Soul* acts this way, they’re only waiting for the other person to learn their lesson, but at this point, it’s… It’s practically impossible to make a Old Soul** not hate you again.

How not to get to this point.

This is going to be depressing.

Showing interest in a Old Soul*’s internal thoughts is a must.

You have to show interest in Young Souls* in order to make them feel important to you. Where a Young Soul* feels important and loved with the to-and-fro of help, emotional, and physical care (Old Soul* tend to emotional needs only with their loved ones, unless they’re children or animals or otherwise fully dependent on them) a Old Soul** feels important when others are interested in their perception on things, their feelings, and their experiences in life. They don’t care if you give them a cup of tea with scones; it means nothing to them, but if you ask: “What did you think about the new Netflix show?” Or “Did you have fun at school today?” They feel INSTANTLY important to you.

Young Souls*, facing this question, would feel put-on-the-spot and baited for a certain wrong answer so they can be laughed at. An open-ended “you feel/think” question to a Young Soul* feels like a trap, they don’t know what the right answer is, but they are convinced there is one… And to be fair, in some sense, there is. An honest answer is the correct one, by the way, a pretentious “I read this from Readers’ Digest” -type of answer is the wrong one.

Because Young Souls* hate this type of question more than Old Souls* hate sitting in an interrogation room tortured by the Taliban, they never ask their children anything of the sort, making their child feel isolated, alone, and unimportant… Stupid and meaningless.

Small thoughtful gifts may mitigate lack of communication.

If you TRULY cannot bring yourself to ask them to talk about their internal world without judgment and criticism, you can undo that damage a lot with small, thoughtful gifts that show that you HAVE indeed paid attention to them and who they are as a person. You have to know what they like, and make NO FUSS about giving them these gifts. If you make it too big of a deal, they will think they’re again a bother to you rather than someone who you LOVE to love. If you try to emphasis how much the gift cost you or how much trouble you went through to get it to them, all they hear is that they are not worth it, and you’re giving it to them just to make them feel like shit about how much of a burden they are to you.

Find something they’d like, and send or give it to them as if it was just a side thought. “I saw this, and I thought you might like it.” What this means to a Old Soul** is that you thought of them, and wanted to make them happy, and that it is of no trouble to you but you just saw an opportunity to make them feel happy and you took it.

They like this, and IF YOU NEED TO emphasize how much trouble you went through, you’ll have to actually EXPLAIN yourself. You’ll have to talk about your feelings for them, and that, I know, is not really the Young Souls*’ greatest gift. It’s either or, you’ll give them a non-chalant, small gift or make a huge deal about it and TELL THEM you went through that trouble because they are important to you and you love them.

Also, if you get them a big, expensive gift, make FUCKING CERTAIN it’s the right one. MONEY does NOT compensate for you ignoring their personality or inner world, it just underlines it more. A big expensive irrelevant gift, to a Old Soul** means: “I feel guilty about having ignored you, since you are my child (or such) but since I have money I can buy your approval with this flashy gift that you never asked for, just so to make myself look generous while simultaneously pointing out how FUCKING LITTLE I give a shit about you. I’d rather throw dollars at you than spend 5 minutes of my day talking to you.”

You have to find a way to express “you matter to me.”

A Old Soul** needs to know they matter to you as an individual, because of their personality, not despite of it. “Despite it” means you’d rather they weren’t them, and you’d be happier if they were someone else. Somehow, you have to express that they matter to you, and that means you have to express KNOWLEDGE of who they are as an individual, and that you respect that individual and do not want to change them into something “better” or someone more important, prettier, or smarter or more conventional.

Do not express “I am willing to help you change” express “you matter to me the way that you are, and I love your personality and the way that you are you.”

Don’t copy paste that. You’ll have to customize that message FOR THEM.

If you find a way to say “you matter to me” try not to take it away with the next sentence like Young Souls* tend to. For instance by doing something nice for them only to follow it up with a “I need you to do this for me…” That makes it sound like the only reason why you did something nice for them was that you needed something from them. Old Soul* won’t appreciate that.

They need to know they’re emotionally safe with you. If you keep injuring their emotions, you’ll lose them eventually, and getting back from there means you’ll have to prove to them you have learned how not to hurt them. Just because you think it’s obvious you love them, doesn’t make it so. They’re not presumptuous or through-and-through narcissistic like that.

KEEP YOUR NOSE THE FUCK AWAY FROM THEIR ROMANTIC LIFE.

I will only say this once: You have no business interfering in their romantic life, unless you want to ask them about it, and prepare to offer no comments but only ask more questions and show interest in what they tell you. Do not make suggestions UNLESS ASKED, and for the love of god do not organize dates for them. (If you think you know, invite some cool young people around under some excuse, but don’t ever mention that you invited them as a date. The chances are that the people you think are GREAT for them, are completely uninteresting to them.)

What that tells them is that you want to control who they love and that you believe they are incapable of connecting with people.

If you make a sidestep here, if you cause even a ripple in their most important romance, YOU WILL BE DEAD TO THEM. This is an area where you would do very wisely to keep at a good distance unless you’re absolutely certain you know what you’re doing, and it’s still a high risk. NEVER get in the way of them and whomever they consider their true love at the moment, no matter how much you disapprove or hope for “something better” for them. This is something you REALLY don’t want to mess with a Old Soul** you care about.

If you can’t do any of that, it’s best you let them go.

If this is too much for you, do them a favor and let them go, and let them live their life in peace. Do not ask them for anything, that would be unfair considering you cannot give them a small, thoughtful gift to express they matter to you enough to have paid attention to some of their likes, dislikes, and interests. If you cannot do ANY of the above, they have every right to feel they don’t mean anything to you AT ALL, so you might as well let them find love elsewhere.

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