What if I don’t care that they don’t love me, I still want to be with them?

Being in love with another person is not a favor to them. They are doing a favor to others by being lovable to other people – not just you. Your job, in a relationship, is to do all in your power to be as lovable as your partner or friend, and failing that, to take a gracious exit from it. Nobody is perfect, and there’s also a danger in being too quick to call yourself unworthy of the other, but if you KNOW that person doesn’t love you as much as you love them, you owe it to them to let them go.

Whether or not you are loved by your partner is the #1 question you have to ask yourself going into it. Is it POSSIBLE for them to feel the joy of loving you, because of the way you are? Are you lovable to them? Do they enjoy being around someone like you? This question isn’t about YOUR benefit, it’s about THEIR benefit. It’s not to protect YOURSELF, it is to protect them from yourself and your hopes and dreams regarding them. Are you STEALING their time by spending time with you? If they don’t love you, you don’t have the capacity to make them happy, and you are not fulfilling your end of the bargain.

You MUST THRIVE to being lovable and adorable and nice and joyful to be with, otherwise, you have to settle for loving people from afar as they love other people. To be in love is a joy, it is a privilege, and it is what EVERYONE loves to feel… I literally know NOBODY who would enjoy being loved by someone who loves them more than they love them. The one who loves less is the one who loses out on the relationship, not the one who loves more.

If you don’t believe me, try and find a relationship where you love your partner less than they love you. You groan, right now, don’t you? I know, because NOBODY wants a relationship with someone who they are not in love with… NOBODY. Let this be the last time you think you have a moral high ground if you love your partner more than they love you… Or that they should be thankful for you.

And, again, if you think they have it good – go and find someone who will love you more than you love them and if that makes you happy, let me know, because you’d be the fucking first.

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