The True Mirror soulmate is the scariest of them all. There is no starry eyed “Oh I found my soulmate and we’ve been happily married ever since” about this. It’s more… “Oh fuck I don’t know what the actual fuck is going on and I think I’m going to fucking lose it but I can’t stop being dragged back like a fucking lunatic but every time he/she so much as looks at me one of us is running screaming out of the state” sort of thing. We all sort of understand what it’s like to lose your heart to someone and then pine after them for the term of your natural life like a Pommy convict in the colonial times, but who is to say what the runner is feeling… The one that seemed to get a free pass of all this lunacy as they avoided your eyes and screamed at the top of their lungs: “I don’t fucking want you!” disappearing into the night in a puff of smoke like Dracula himself. (OK I don’t know who dictated that paragraph to me, it was one of my Mirrors, but can’t tell which one. 😀 I think it was one of the Girl Guides. Odd. Anyway, enjoy.)

If I would get a penny for their thoughts every time someone asks me if I can tell what their True Mirror is thinking, I would have already made at least a hundred bucks of this website, but well, I don’t. However, to be serious, there are some pretty good reasons why a runner runs and why the chaser tends to run as soon as the runner looks back and considers changing direction. The reasons are a little bit different depending on one’s gender.

Male-runner

Male runners are the more common type of a runner, because historically, they have been taught to do so. Their desires for a woman have been punished by her father, her brothers, his priest, his king, her husband… They have been chased into the night like a dirty dog for following his heart, shamed and brutalised for touching someone who is too good for them, too pure, too virtuous, and someone who he is too dirty to touch. They have been taught a million life times over that their love for you is wrong, hateful, shameful and disastrous and what comes out of it is nothing good. In previous life times when she followed him to live by his side, she’s been disowned, cast into shame, taken for a whore and a harlot, and the love that you shared was tattered by the public opinion of people who saw nothing but lust and debauchery in it. The fact that society now sees things differently – although more logically and sensibly (there’s no such thing as love at first sight) – it makes no difference since in his soul he still remembers the shame that comes out of your love for each other, on him and on you. This is conditioning of the psyche, but done during several life times, not just this one.

Added to that, our True Emotion Mirrors are rarely or never people that our family members appreciate. The more she feel connected to him, the less her father likes him. It is quite a common joke about him meeting her parents, but it’s no joke to a True Mirror. Often, it’s no joke to his girlfriend, either, who probably knows full well the reception he’s going to have, and both of them are quite willing to avoid the whole family-thing entirely by calling it quits before anything has even gotten started. “It would never work” simply because the family would be against it.

Female-runner

But “I’m not that kind of a girl!” A female runner will easily get scared by their own lust toward their True Mirror. Female runners are getting rarer as female sexuality is becoming more accepted, but even as this happens, it is still easy to fall towards the old beliefs of yesteryear.

A female runner feels the shame as well. To her, his desire comes as a surprise, but not so much as that of her own. The lust between her thighs feels ungodly, unpure, disgraceful… And it cannot be a sign of true love! She expected white light, heart connection, peace and calm, but what she got was burning desire and lust, perverted images and sweat and heart pumping blood red carnage! Her sexual desire is what is terrifying her, who she realized she was in your arms, when she wanted nothing more than to feel you inside her, between her thighs, like she was a common whore! This threatens her previously held idea of herself, her values and characteristics, and she runs to protect her own virtues. If she has cheated on someone else with you, she would be twice as likely to attempt penance to regain her virtue and social standing, because previously she has never felt anything but despise toward women who throw themselves at men who they are not married to, or worse yet, men that are married to someone else.

Another reason for female runner to run is the cultural mistrust of men. All men cheat, all men are just after the one thing, if he wants you sexually he doesn’t respect you… She also doesn’t’ want to give in to her feelings, because they will lead her into trouble, heart broken, shamed… made feel like a fool. Women like this believe that men who want them sexually cannot love them and respect them, so they deny their own love for him and all desires they feel for him and try to focus on their life as it is without this shameful connection that she feels with you.

To a female runner, the male chaser is the devil incarnated, a temptation, a demon created to test her virtue and purity.

Blocking feelings

Both genders block their feelings efficiently because they don’t want to get caught into them, and acknowledging there has been any feelings threatens the way they see the world. It often happens, that the True Mirror relationships don’t start in ideal circumstances. One of you is married, has a strong religious background or has a pre-held ideal that the very existence of the True Mirror challenges: “I don’t believe in previous life times.” “I don’t believe in love at first sight.” “I am not the kind of a person who sleeps with a friend’s girlfriend.” The feelings are so strong and unexpected and often directed at a person you didn’t think you’d fall for, that it takes time to process them and to accept them. So you take your time… And the longer you take, the harder it gets.

As time passes – even if it’s just a couple of weeks, you feel stupid acting on something you should have said at the time it was… appropriate. The more time passes, the more you feel like an idiot digging up something that you should have gotten over years ago. At first it’s “oh it’ll pass, it’s only a crush” and in time it turns into “I should have spoken up when I had the chance, by now they’ve certainly moved on…” In addition, the feeling of loss, the what could have been is so painful that the Runner gladly denies there was any feelings to begin with, because that is a much better thought than knowing you lost 10 years with your true love simply because you chickened out. Besides, it could still be just a childish fantasy.

Hurt feelings

Our culture has taught us to be very suspicious of lustful love and being too trusting of sudden feelings toward another. Ironically, the very warnings are the cause for why these feelings herald bad news, because the belief that sexual love is wrong is the very cause of it going wrong – the creator of the situation. We have also been taught to never trust one’s own luck too much – true love is rare or non-existent, so it happening to you is very unlikely, and believing in it would be stupid. Well-meaning friends and parents spewing out helpful, spiteful or judgemental remarks are poisonous in this situation. In that kind of a mindset, anything or anyone who supports that view can send a True Mirror running. You must realise that sometimes the True Mirror’s feelings for you are hurt by someone other than yourself! This is such a sore spot, that anyone poking fun at it, disrespecting it, discrediting it… all of that hits home, and it hits home hard.

Another layer to this is added by the underlying fear of not being good enough or being the dirtiest son of a bitch just for having these thoughts about the other. The male often feels that the woman doesn’t even understand how sexual his thoughts of her are, and how she’d be shocked to know, and if she knew she would certainly not love him at all… The female runner thinks herself in similar terms, and if the other makes half a comment in the direction that might be interpreted along the lines of: “You are not good enough for me” or “I don’t like men/women who are after sex…” or “I don’t really love you” they are quick to take that to heart and make sure they won’t forget it. Of course, more often than not these comments are misunderstandings because in the eyes of the True Mirror the other can do no wrong… (Unless they’re the runner who has decided everything they do is a proof of a questionable character!)

The Runner protects his or her honour by trying to fight off the cause of their shame, or more accurately the person they associate it with, that being you. They see you as the enemy, the temptress or the demon, something that needs to be done away with. This is also a major difference between an Enigma Runner and a True Mirror Runner, the Enigma Runner truly feels stronger than the Chaser, better than them, but a True Mirror Runner feels weaker than their Chaser, who seems to cope with their feelings fairly well considering the circumstances. (Sometimes they are both runners and everyone is an knock away from shattering…) True Mirror Runner’s strength feels very fragile indeed, and their resolve ‘teary’ where as Enigma Runners anger is genuine.

Running isn’t a question of “not being enlightened” or “being spiritually unaware” or any of that bull… Just saying.

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