What is the real danger of the Free Spirit Theory?
The collective name of all of my theories is the Free Spirit Theory, in case you didn’t know.1 The Free Spirit Theory gets its name from the idea of liberating all people to be their authentic selves so that we can live peacefully as nobody is pushed into a box and forced to live an inauthentic life. However, liberation is dangerous when you start conforming to non-conformity or picking liberal ideals and goals at random or as per popularity or prevalence, such as the trans community is currently doing. You cannot pick your “authentic self” as per popularity, and you will also have to be brave enough to accept that *Fuck* you’re one of the popular ones, or common variety, or even the elusive ideal man or woman if that applies.
The danger is to fail to conform to what you want and instead conform to what you feel you should choose for whatever reason. The danger is that you’ll DENY YOURSELF what you wish for. It has always been a danger, but it was also a requirement before the rise of extreme liberal thinking. There is a danger in asking a person who is ill-equipped to make their own decisions to do what is right for them.
Decision maker
You will be the one in charge of your life decisions, namely, what kind of relationship you should be a part of. If nothing else, you will have to appoint a person who can make those decisions for you. I don’t advice that, however, as it puts a lot on another person, but there are people who NEED this kind of interaction to be happy and I cannot stop that. However.
If someone asks a Old Souls* to make their decisions for them, give it one try maximum. The Lover-thinking* habit of asking you to redo your decisions is a trap. They already know what they want but want you to be responsible for whatever goes wrong. So, if they don’t seem happy with your first decision, you have to cut them loose and find another guru. Clearly, you don’t know what they want, and they shouldn’t be left with the decision to demand that you make another one. I suggest you should refuse those tasks entirely, but it’s your call. (A good number of detransitioners are the Young Soul* who trusted a Old Souls* to make that decision for them, a decision that was never meant to be anything but personal. A lot of the Young Soul* just want to live a life that they can blame on someone else.)
Failure to pick the right thing for you.
The real danger is to not pick anything at all out of fear of picking the wrong thing, covering behind someone else’s back, or choosing what your friend or family member is choosing, out of fear of being different. Conformists, as in the Young Soul* are in real danger here. However, I am trying to find a good “one size fits all” default choice for those who are uncertain, which is going to be a polygynandrous default relationship type, with an expectation of asexuality or demisexuality for until you can say which sexual orientation you are. Still, polygynandry works for most people as a safe default, while monogamy is the WORST and most unlikely-to-work idea there is.
Typically
Most women are polygynous bisexuals, most men are polyandrous bisexuals, but polyandrist heterosexual women exist but not as frequently as polygynist heterosexual men. Polyandrist soups are going to be bigger than polygynous soups, is my gut feeling. Polygynandrist soups are probably remain reasonably sized as they are easier to split than either polygynous or polyandrous soups, and also harder to keep interesting if the size of them gets too big. Polygynandry is thus the best default as it works well for most people, and after that, polygynists and polyandrists can safely veer off the group without disturbing it too much. Idealizing young commitment should also stop. Sure, it happens authentically and naturally sometimes, but pushing young people into commitment or sex is not a great idea. I’m also thinking age limits in sex are a little arbituary, but I do worry about how easily influenced the Young Soul* are. Maybe not talking about your sexual exploits would be a good idea, especially when young. All of that stuff should happen as nature dictates, not by a chart or due to peer pressure.
Thinking you have to be like others.
The biggest danger in life is to try and be “like others” without making sure the others are like you. The need to fit in is dangerous. Fitting in should never be about becoming the same as others or adapting to a group against your own true instinct, but it should be done by picking a group that you like and feel affinity to and maybe make some fashion changes to signal internal similarity. Using fashion to cover up internal differences is misuse of fashion. It should be used to highlight internal similarities to a certain group – “normal” being one of them.
Loving and rewarding weakness for the sake of weakness is a problem.
Imagine rescuing a kitten, and then abandoning it when it’s fit and healthy again. Sounds nuts, but SO MANY PEOPLE love weak and fragile things for the sake of their weakness and fragility. When this love is applied to humans, you have a certain recipe for drama. (Cats will be adopted, people, not so much.) When your love is directly linked to weakness and need to nurture someone, you need to push them back to a place of weakness. Also, when you believe the best way for you to be loved is by being weak and vulnerable, you’ll keep demonstrating weakness and vulnerability for the sake of it.
That is not exactly a Free Spirit Theory danger, rather I’m trying to stop people from loving weakness too much – I urge you love strong forests, healthy, thriving people, intelligence and success, so much so that you’ll want to help weak things thrive… But don’t pick out of charity, pick out of true instinct. Otherwise you create weakness-dependent people. Know when someone is worth helping because you’ll stay with them once they’re strong and your love of them is not based on their weakness but on their will to survive and thrive or your personal love toward that individual, no matter what they’re going through.
Treating all soulmate types as equal value.
Only the True Emotion Mirror and Precious Soulmates are truly worth fighting for and protecting. Every other soulmate type is transitionary, less in value, including the Lovers’ Choice Soulmate*, which is the right thing for some people for the current lifetime, and their decision if that’s what they wish to go for. Treating a relationship as valuable because it is identified in the Personality Mirror Soulmate Typology is the wrong way to use it – every relationship type should be in there, good and bad.
Also, assuming that a soulmate will turn into a True Emotion Mirror over time is also typically a waste of time. If you BOTH want to try, go for it, but it’ll take you a literal million years and even then, there’s no guarantees of success if you start with a measly Trail Companion*.
Assuming that you already have met or even created your True Emotion Mirror
One popular misconception that creates drama due to reading my theories is the assumption that you already know your True Emotion Mirror. While it’s entirely possibe you do, even more likely is that you don’t. It is relatively rare that people know what I’m talking about with True Emotion Mirror descriptions. Just because you know it sounds freaking nice, and you have a few people you might want to see in that role, doesn’t mean they ARE that person.
You may also then start imagining “oh that’s how that person feels about me” when truly, they don’t.
While I encourage you to explore any relationship that you and them both are curious about, NEVER try to insist against another person’s word that they MUST BE your True Emotion Mirror because you have read about them.
Having sex for the sake of having sex ignoring your natural drive.
I am quite sex-focussed in my teachings. The reason for it that a lot of other spiritual/religious teachings does the exact opposite. Sex is a huge factor in making life feel worth living, and it has been trampled on and oppressed with catastrophic consequences if you ask me. (Another post.) I believe, basically, that all that ails human condition is due to sexual oppression.
THAT SAID, forcing yourself to have sex like it was a school assignment is also not going to solve anybody’s problems, least of all yours. The only thing worse than not having sex is having the wrong kind of sex, with the wrong gender or wrong person, and at a wrong time and for wrong motivations. One of these wrong motivations is to prove that you’re “embracing” the new way of thinking. If you were truly embracing it and understanding what it’s about, you’d stop proving yourself and your trust in me by doing the wrong thing by yourself… ESPECIALLY by having sex you’d later regret.
You cannot prove yourself to be a good Free Spiritist by having blind faith in what I say. That’s the opposite of being a good Free Spiritist. What a good one has is critical thinking, self-awareness, and authentic understanding of self. (Slight difference there.) A good Free Spiritist has a healthy load of moral selfishness – a measure of selfishness that protects one’s own rights and authenticity without pushing one’s own wishes and needs onto others in a way that harms them. Moral selfishness means refusing to be exploited while also, according to moral contemplation refraining from being selfish toward others and exploiting them as a result.
My terms are not the only terms describing the same thing.
Don’t ADD my theories to another religion or spiritual or psychological theory. Mesh them. I’m using terms that I have created myself so that I can use as accurate language as I can when discussing ideas I’m discussing. Which means that for instance “narcissist” isn’t always an appropriate word, as it doesn’t fully explain the backgrounds and situations that are needed to understand a situation. A Twin Flame describes the same phenomenon that I call True Emotion Mirror or an Lovers’ Choice Soulmate*, maybe even a Precious Soulmate – depending on WHO is using the term Twin Flame. I have also found the need to define other relationship types that look like a Twin Flame relationship at a glance, but turns out to be something completely different.
Some terms being so lose and highly interpreted or very tightly defined maybe, I decided it would be best if I used my own terms. Therefore it would be foolish to ADD certain terms to existing vocabulary thinking that, for instance Twin Flame and True Emotion Mirror are two very different things, when they are simply two different ways to examine the same phenomenon. So it would be accurate to say: “I believe X is my Twin Flame as per the better known concept, but my views of what it actually means aligns better with the True Emotion Mirror explanation of it.” It would also be accurate to say “I don’t believe in Twin Flames exactly, so I call X my True Emotion Mirror instead.” But not “I believe in both Twin Flames and True Emotion Mirrors, and my X is a Twin Flame but not my True Emotion Mirror.” Again, you could say “I believe in Twin Flames but not the True Emotion Mirror -explanation of it,” but not that you believe in both but only think X is one or the other, or that you simultanously believe that X is your literal half of the same soul AND that you didn’t originate from the same soul but are somehow Twin Flames… So something’s gotta give.
Reading my texts and thinking I have it all figured out and you need not to think after this.
Look, I’m pretty good thinker. Pretty freaking good. That said, I’m a human and a product of my own time. I don’t know how long my texts will be of help to anybody, but what I am certain of that they’re supposed to function as a support to your own thinking and logic, NOT as a replacement for the need of either. It’s supposed to be a seed to thought, not the end to thought.
It’s supposed to BOOST evolution, not cement it into place.
Also, don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. What you already know about yourself is good intel. Also, anything that is TRUE should stay in your world view. It’s just a matter of few new words and ideas to consider.
What would Sebbie do?
Also, don’t start using me as a role model for an ideal person. I’m very much a great example of how far from the normal a person can go and still be healthy and authentic, but don’t think “going far off center” is the ideal. No. The ideal is to be loyal to who you are, no matter how far you need to go – no matter how close to the centre you need to stay. I am by far NOT the most “outrageous” person there is. Being different for the sake of being different is not the goal, neither is becoming a copy of me.
There are some women out there who are almost exactly like me – because they are – but to try and be like me is not the way to do this. You might want to put as much effort into being the most authentic version of you as I do, but do not think I am a role model. I am not a role model. I’m a life coach. BIG DIFFERENCE.
Be you.
The actual you, not what some group identity dictates you should be.
As I’m writing this, the only way to browse my blog is at random. ↩
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*) Term changed after this post was originally written. Fractions of old terms may exist elsewhere in the post. Read about term updates.
**) Narcissists are Young Souls left alone to survive and they're doing their best. Their emotional age ranges from 3 to 17 -year old. The younger, the more severe the narcissism.
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