What should you feel guilty for and what you shouldn’t feel guilt over?

Guilt is supposedly a feeling we get when we have wronged another person, we’ve caused undue harm on others. That’s what it SHOULD come from. However, guilt-like feelings can come as a result of a guilt-trip, when someone is trying to make you feel guilty for not doing something FOR another person. Guilt shouldn’t come from NOT doing favors to others, favors are called favors because they’re up and beyond what you owe another person. You should do the right thing by others, but what is the right thing is limited to how much HARM does another person good do to you. For instance, taking the blame for a crime you had nothing to do with because another person says you should, is obviously not your duty, and such saying no to it shouldn’t make you feel guilty. That wouldn’t stop all people from trying to pass guilt onto you for not going to jail for a female, for example, if you’re a man.

It can sometimes be difficult to know when you should feel guilty and when you shouldn’t. You don’t need to accommodate another person’s sense of entitlement or pettiness. You owe love or friendship to nobody. You don’t owe loyalty to anybody. You cannot be a bad person for not loving the people who wish you loved them, no matter who they are. You can be a bad person if you wish those people harm even though they have done nothing to you – except perhaps offend your ego – your false idea of yourself, in this context.

You should also learn to make the difference in there, exactly, are you offending someone’s false ego, or are you actually doing something wrong by them.

You are not doing wrong by others if you disobey them – particularly if you’re an adult. As a child, it’s good to obey others because you don’t know why a rule is a rule, but once you are grown up and responsible for yourself, disobedience, when it’s not harming anyone else, shouldn’t be considered something you need to feel guilty for. There are laws, of course, and the laws are in place for a reason. For instance, there are countries that allow the use of drugs but criminalize the production, distribution, and selling of drugs. The reason is clear: Making drugs available to the general public harms others, but taking the same drugs harms nobody but yourself (and perhaps your family and closest friends).

When someone is laying you a guilt trip, just check who has been wronged, and if you can’t find anyone, contemplate on the potential you are being wronged as they speak.

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