What should you write in your dating profile?

There is something that the Idealists* thinkers do that the Survivalist* find confusing. The Idealists* tend to open up their doors for “everyone” but then add strict criteria for entry. This includes dating profiles, which, especially with the Idealists* women, tend to be a little… Spikey.

What are the Idealists* looking for in general, compared to the Survivalist*.

First; you have to understand this difference:

the Idealists* people are aware that they are different from others, but love who they are as people, so they want to find people who are different the same way as they are.

the Survivalist* try to be similar enough to the median to be accepted as a “normal person,” and upon reaching this goal, they do not think there would be a valid reason to reject them as a potential spouse. They HOPE FOR a PERMANENT relationship at the expense of interpersonal compatibility.

This difference goes for every relationship each type has, from intimate relationships, to personal and to professional relationships.

“Ask everyone if they are the same kind as me.”

The fact the Idealists* are usually looking for very specific character traits in others, but they don’t know which specific individuals will have those traits, so they have to “ask everyone” if they are that kind of a person. So they’ve already excluded all of the people they know as potential candidates for being the kind of people they are looking for, and the next step is everyone else.

If they included everyone with whatever traits or goals possible, it would result in absolute chaos: “I open up a blog post redistribution service for quality blog posts…” And in the next sentence, to appease the Survivalist*: “There are no standards, no categorizing needed, you don’t need to be a blogger even, just send us whatever, just to have a chat with me.” How in the heavens’ name would that benefit anyone? You see, the Survivalist* think everything is about socializing and “fitting in,” and if it was left to them, I don’t think anyone would get any work done unless it can be done while casually chatting out loud. As it is about “fitting in” to the Survivalist* thinkers, they don’t understand why the Idealists* won’t make the requirements easier if they are so desperate for friends.

“Do you fit in with me?” or “Would you stay with someone (like me) forever?”

When the Survivalist* and the Idealists* are looking for true love, too, their mindset is entirely different. When the Survivalist* are looking for “true love” what it means is that they ARE desperately looking for someone to STAY with them for the rest of their lives, just anyone who wouldn’t sway from their side. They only need to know about a prospective partner: “Will you stay?” The way they ask it is, “Do you want to get married one day,” which is a very poor qualifier because I think 99% of people, the Survivalist* or the Idealists*, will say “yes,” but the conditions under which the Idealists* wishes to marry has nothing to do with the question that the Survivalist* was curious about: “Do you see yourself being staying by my side for the rest of your life, as your personality trait?” The Survivalist* doesn’t see why a person wouldn’t be faithful TO THEM, because they are an average, normal person, and there’s nothing about them to say they’re unfit to form a permanent relationship. Therefore, if a person intends to be faithful to SOMEBODY for the rest of their life, they might just as well be faithful to them.

The Idealists*, however, are “unicorn hunting,” NOT DESPERATE for a relationship or a person to co-exist with; they are seeking something so much more than that. Typically they are a little embarrassed to admit to it, whether they’re male or female. They are not particularly worried about whether someone will STAY with them, but they are more worried about winding up with someone they cannot truly connect with but can’t get rid of, either. Therefore, they’re very aware of what they like and don’t like and are not afraid to express it.

What the Survivalist* should say on their dating profiles

The Survivalist* should express willingness and readiness for a deep commitment relatively fast. They should say they want someone who is normal, even mundane, but who wants a committed relationship with someone suitable. If they want to raise a bar, they should say that they want someone who is serious about their health so that they can be relied on to stay alive and healthy for a long time into the future – but that is entirely optional. Then, they should continue stating their age and whether they have kids or not, if they do, mention their age, and include their income level in the profile.

That will CERTAINLY keep the Idealists* from wasting the Survivalist* time!

What the Idealists* should say in a dating profile

While the Survivalist* dating profile should be short and practical, the Idealists* should write a long, long, meaningful, profile that will confuse the heck out of the Survivalist* thinkers, and hopefully make them scroll on after the first paragraph, exhausted. Still, through the profile, which may appear DESPERATE to the Survivalist* person who is more so, the Idealists* should avoid certain pit falls with the Survivalist*.

One problem with the Survivalist* is that if someone expresses an existence of a personal flaw, the Survivalist* see it as an invitation for someone willing to fix that personal flaw. Therefore, no the Idealists* profile should be too open about personal flaws, but it shouldn’t be too braggy either; that’s an invitation for the Survivalist* to see how desperate you are for a permanent partner considering you have to exaggerate so much to make a splash! Drawing a balance is a really tricky thing.

The spikiness in the Idealists* profiles is their attempt to discourage the Survivalist*; but only encourages them

The Idealists* feel easily trapped if someone emphasizes too high an expectation of instant commitment, but they are also fast chased out by spikiness that would only excite the Survivalist*. Therefore, the Idealists* can lower their verbal weapons because they are trying to discourage the Survivalist*, whether they know this or not. Being very spikey means that the Survivalist* get excited and the Idealists* get discouraged because they don’t like conflict or drama.

Friends with benefits

The Idealists* should boldly say they are looking for true love, but they want to explore friends with benefits first. To a Idealists* this means exactly that; to the Survivalist* it means they’re not ready for commitment yet, and they are not looking for a marriage – which is kinda true.  The Idealists* also need to realize they like doing things with their authentic partner, but with the enthusiasm to commitment the Survivalist* have shown over centuries, male-female relationships tend to veer toward commitment and to sex because the trade-off has been that “women” want commitment and “men” want sex, so there are no hobbies and interests elements in many relationships that start with the expectation of a romantic relationship… And mind you, it is the Idealists* that will take it toward sex – both men and women – because otherwise, there is literally nothing for them to do with the Survivalist* person. The Survivalist* bore them to tears, and the only thing they CAN DO together is sex.

Single because they enjoy sex so much.

The Idealists*, both men and women, could go as far as to say that they are still single because they love sex so much. (Let the Idealists* and the Survivalist* fill in the blanks. Cats: Sex with strangers? Dogs: Sex with their one partner; CONSTANTLY?!) This is tantalizing for both genders of the Idealists*; it poses a challenge: “Can I be the reason they’d stop sleeping with a lot of peole? Interesting.” The Idealists* won’t try to CHANGE YOU or TRAP YOU, but they’re willing to try to make you an addict for their loving. The Idealists* should avoid making their sexual appetite sound like a problem they want fixed, or a problem they have no control over because the Survivalist* can decide to FORGIVE THEm for it and stay with you REGARDLESS they expect to be cheated on on a regular basis as if the Idealists* sex drive was a medical condition.

Don’t forget to include your hobbies and interests.

The Idealists* should continue with a long list of hobbies and interests, as they are important for the Idealists*. Still they should make absolutely NO MENTION of wanting marriage and kids, but maybe refer to a lifelong romance with someone sexy, which, again, to the Idealists* is catnip, but for the Survivalist* it sounds like “a lifelong deal with only sex, high emphasis on staying good-looking, no commitment.” which, in turn, means they’ll have to stay “on edge” for the rest of their life because this person is too sex-driven; which is true about the Idealists*, they are very sex-driven.

The Idealists* should say NOTHING about wanting to have children in a public profile but might, after finding someone interesting, make a mention of it on the first date, maybe. If they are childfree, they might mention that as it’s an important selling point for a bunch of the Idealists* people; the D0g-types will understand it as a temporary stage though: “I am currently free of children,” but it won’t affect their decision to message the individual or not. The Idealists* might also mention “they are not very family oriented” and “don’t keep contact many friends,” if that’s true. These statements don’t matter much to a Idealists* person, but will be bitterly disappointing to the Survivalist*. (The more the merrier – the fewer the sadder.)

the Idealists* love a long, personal text, the Survivalist* think you’re being self-important.

You should never shorten your dating profile if you are a Idealists* person. The more you say the better. The more detail you go into, the more weird you can make yourself sound, the better. The Survivalist* hate weird wordy people, and the Idealists* love them. Also, the Idealists* love puns, fresh expressions, joking, and good humor (mention your favorite standup comedians!), and the less you leave room for “taking it back,” the better; the Idealists* will be AT AWE if they find someone who they truly click with, and the Survivalist* will think “Oh my god what a wind-bag, imagine spending your life listening to that asshole talk about himself/herself ALL THE TIME…”

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