What the Young Soul* and the Old Souls* find romantic.

Romance has two different modalities: non-sexual romance and sexual romance. We divide non-sexual romance into further two; idealist romance, which is the Old Souls* domain, and romance of caring for others, which is more the Young Soul*romance but nothing that the Old Souls* cannot appreciate – momentarily. Sexual romance is not really the Young Soul*tuff at all; they romanticize the lack of sex in a romantic relationship; rather, “he loves her so much he doesn’t even demand sex with her.” To a Old Souls*, such a statement sounds nonsensical, as their sexuality and romance go hand-in-hand.

the Old Souls* love beauty and beautiful scenes, perfection. They love beautiful bodies and people, and even though the Young Soul* sound like the people who’d fall for physical appearance, they do not. They are nearly completely indifferent to a person’s looks – and react only to what they find scary or untrustworthy as a negative “look.” Once they learn not to fear the people with “the look,” they will again love them without regard to their physical appearance. (They are also drawn to people they fear because they want to feel the rush of falling in love with a non-likable individual, and concerning their own fear of strange things.)

the Old Souls* find it romantic to seek for their true partner in life, sometimes for half their life before they find them. They’d prefer finding that person early on, but to trust their love fully, they need to not love a lot of people first. They need to know they are NOT in love with this person the same way that the Young Soul* find romantic: “We were neighbors when we were three, our mothers put us into the same playpen, and now we’re married.” the Old Souls* find it too convenient. Too easy. Suspicious. They find it very unlikely that you’d find the one right next door to you. They want to know their loved one is special to them – unlike anyone else in the world – while the Young Soul*try the opposite; to be as ordinary as possible so that nobody near them would have a reason to reject them romantically or as a friend. They want to be just as good of an option as the next person, and they assume that people wouldn’t like them if they were better than others unless they spent their days teaching others to be as good as themselves to make a difference between individuals minimal. The Old Souls* teach to help others be less needy and clingy, and obstructive to their own personal happiness… and as a service to humanity which is part of their romantic thinking.

the Old Souls* value words.

More than anything, the Old Souls* love to hear words of love (and sexual arousal). They like things verbalized because it makes things REAL for them. It is so easy to live in one’s own imagination of what the other person is thinking or feeling that they feel a rush when their lover says things out loud and makes their feelings and intuition true for them. They need to hear love confessions to believe their version of reality to be real.

the Young Soul* don’t need that – they assume that since we’re in the same playpen, we love alike.

the Old Souls* also love stories, anecdotes, intellectual conversations, jokes, comedy – anything to do with words, really; which form they love the most is individual. To them, romance comes in erotic stories, romantic stories, and verbalized fantasies…

the Young Soul* value food and time together with their loved ones.

the Young Soul* value food and time spend together with their loved ones. Although the Old Souls* do not scoff at these things with the ones they exchange words with, without words, these things mean nothing to them. Without intellectual connection, the Old Souls* cannot enjoy these things to their fullest, but the Young Soul* value simple time together. They even feel disturbed by too much conversation, and even though that makes you think the Young Soul* are introverts and the Old Souls* are extroverts, the reverse is true. The Young Soul* like to keep the conversation light and mean only one thing: “I love that you’re here, I love us being together, I love this time with you.”

the Young Soul* don’t care about your achievements or what you’ve been doing; they need your presence in the room, and that’s all. The Old Souls* try to excite others with their stories and intellectual pursuits, as they love those things.

Both types love a trip down memory lane.

If you’re thinking of a Christmas with family, here is a tip of gold for you: Both the Old Souls* and the Young Soul* love a trip down memory lane. (Anything to avoid the present moment, a cynic might point out.) If there is a problem brewing, a good host will quickly whip up a good story from the past that involves as many people present as possible and try to paint a vivid mental picture for those who weren’t – and to keep the Old Souls* happy; in words, not only in photographs – photographs can be brought in, but only in addition to words.

(A word of warning; should there be the Young Soul*present who has changed a lot, whose external image has been changed from one to another, don’t make too much of a spectacle about how nerdy and pathetic they used to be as a kid. They won’t appreciate it. The Old Souls* see it as a story of triumph, but the Young Soul* see it as a tarnish and shame. You can bring this up as “they’ve grown and matured so much,” but no charming stories of their embarrassing youth.)

the Old Souls*’ romance is complicated and intellectual.

the Old Souls* love a bit of complication, and they are very intellectual about their romance. The Young Soul* don’t really like this about them at all but can’t really change that fact any more than the Old Souls* can make the Young Soul* understand their needs fully. The Young Soul* often try to change to what the Old Souls* is seeking. Still, they don’t really find it any more romantic than the Old Souls* do, but they just want to make the Old Souls* seeking come to an end. They see the Old Souls* romance as some kind of a psychological disorder and are prepared to help them overcome it by changing themselves into the Old Souls* ideal person if need be. However, this doesn’t really work because it doesn’t fool the Old Souls* but they find it fake and inauthentic, but if they fall for it, they’ll always wonder what is wrong. They see it as an “all my boxes are ticked, but I don’t feel what I want to feel,” and they blame themselves for it.

the Old Souls* often explain very carefully what and who they are looking for, and the Young Soul* feel tempted to become that person to give the Old Souls* the medicine they need. However, they should not. It won’t make the Old Souls* happy – in fact, many of them feel trapped or tricked by such actions. They describe what they want carefully because they want to find the person who is already like that. It’s like a missing person’s report; they just don’t know who they lost, and dressing themselves according to their description is as cruel as posing yourself as the long lost child of parents who are looking for their missing child, and pretending to be that child, when that child is still out there, missing, waiting to be found.

the Young Soul* may honestly not understand what’s the difference, but please, at least intellectually, if you’re reading, just take it from me: To a Old Souls*, it’s a world of difference. They cannot replace one person with another that looks just the same because they are NOT the same person; they FEEL different no matter how outwardly similar they would be. That is their romance.

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